We both work and earn good money, I take responsibility for the family finances. My wife wants a new fancy car, she already has a respectable 3 year old car thats paid for. She says that im being unfair for not letting her have her new car, Im concerned with paying off the mortgage and saving for our old age one day. She pretty much gets everything else she wants and goes without nothing, nice clothes, vacations each year, eat out often. I treat her very well. But she tries to pressure me with that damn car.
2006-09-03 23:17:13 · 29 answers · asked by hoarfen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, you are being fair.
Does she tell you otherwise?
Maybe you need to sit down with her & explain to her about the details of why the both of you can't spend money on a new car right now.
You are probably the practical 1 & she's more of the free thinker.
Explain to her that if both of you do decide to get her the new car; you will have to stop eating out so often(or eat at cheaper places like Mc Donalds), both of you will have to start budgeting your shopping money for clothes(like only spending $50 a month), not taking vacations every year(changing it to every other year), & maybe she'll change her mind.
Women usually don't understand until it's too late. We like to go shopping & act like there's no tomorrow.
Tell her in a really nice way. Take her out to a nice dinner.
2006-09-03 23:28:52 · answer #1 · answered by Trinity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a fine line between good finance and controling behavior.
On the face of it, it does not sound unreasonable BUT you both work. How much input does she really have concerning the money she brings to the table. It is unreasonable for you to put her money into the family coffer with her not being able to direct a fair share to her wishes.You've made a decision that the money is to be used for mortgage and retirement. She would like a new car to go with her percieved status. You better find some common ground before this becomes a battle over control. Ultimately this can lead to the demise of the couple. At that point that paid off mortgage becomes moot. Wake up. This is not about how you treat her it is about her perception of how you treat her. Give her the car but pay for it out of the vacation budget.
2006-09-04 00:51:31 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you asked wives but you should get both sexes to answer your question.
First off your first mistake is that you do all the family finances. You need to bring in her to see what your planning for and saving for. How to you expect her to understand something you have not had her part of.
You didn't say what type of car you own and how old it is and that could be a reason she wants a new car. Why does she want a new car. Better gas mileage, safer or other reasons. Again we don't know the reason why. You make it sound like she just wants one because she wants one.
If she were to get a new car this is the time to do it. 3 year old cars for trade in are at there peak for value. Hold on any longer you should keep it at least 5 to 7 years to get its worth out of it.
You need to talk this out like adults and you need to put all the finances in front of her so she knows where you coming from.
2006-09-04 00:03:56 · answer #3 · answered by Mit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are u kidding? U are being more than fair. U have really spoiled her
in the past and now she's pouting like a 5 yr old because u won't give her what she wants. Since she has her own job, why is there such a problem with her buying it herself with her own money? Which brings me back to my original assessment..u have spoiled her a little too much...lol!
Now u need to decide what u are going to accomplish. Do you give in and make her happy or do u stand your ground this time around? It's up to u but based on the past history, she has gotten so used to u giving her what she wanted that now she EXPECTS it. If u decide that making her happy is the most important thing then perhaps u can compromise and suggest to split the bill with her, in this way it'll be almost a win, win situation.
2006-09-04 00:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest that she wait 2 years, make a serious savings for the car, and then get it on her own. It can be argued that a 5 year old car needs replaced if you have money. Even wealthy folks can make it with a 3 year old car.
However, I have to wonder.... is this really about the car? Or is there some deeper issue. Women are deep and need lots of things we just don't understand.
2006-09-04 00:00:42 · answer #5 · answered by Roger S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better look at it with logic. If she leaves you because of the car issue there are other problems you are not addressing like the fact she feels she is entitled to something she wants in the relationship. Trust me a new car is much cheaper than dealing with the ramifications of splitting 50/50 all the assets. Remember that she works hard for the money that she earns.
2006-09-03 23:44:09 · answer #6 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the gold digger to stop being a spoiled bratt!!And be Lucky she has it so good!With a hard working husband a nice house a fairly new car cmon alot of women out here would love to be in her shoes and have it so good!I cant stand women like her more they get more they want!!Just tell her no your not getting a new car I'm so sorry your 3 year old car is to old for you,grow up kid!!And i tell her that if she wants a new car wait till she needs a new car and shut the h$ll up about it!!
2006-09-03 23:44:55 · answer #7 · answered by blondie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would consider myself lucky to be in her position. If I were you, I'd show her on paper the numbers and ask her if she honesly thinks her idea is smart. I personally look at my car as a means of point A to point B and would be happy to have what she has. I'd show her exactly how much you will both need for retirement, etc. If she's so smart, let her try taking care of the finances. Don't give in to a spoiled brat. If she insists, let her take care of the car payment by making extra money. She shouldn't take it out of her regular salary which is used for the bills.
2006-09-04 00:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be more than happy with a 3 year old paid for car. I've never had a vehicle less than 10 years old that I bought used. No, you're not being unfair. She needs to learn moderation.
2006-09-03 23:19:27 · answer #9 · answered by Hillaryforpresident 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love nice things and love being treated in a very special way by my husband. I admit I maybe a bit inconsiderate sometimes but with what you're saying I too think that you are being fair.
Fancy car that is not a necessity can wait and can be bought once there are more than enough surplus in your income.
2006-09-03 23:23:23 · answer #10 · answered by Beachy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋