Are gossips damaged people?

Question

If someone is malicious,is it better to assume they've been hurt in the past and give them kindness,or would it do the gosip more good to get tough on that person.Anyone had an experience like this---it's totally malicious,I've realised that since I started working somewhere new,vicious gossip whish has no factual basis has been circulating about me.Please help me out here as I'm a man and I don't want to be seen to be a bully(the person doing the damage is a woman).

Answer 1

gossiping is bad.
what goes around comes around.
just let that person be and show him/her that
their attutude bothers you.
ignore them.

Answer 2

gossiping is never a good thing, but we all (most of us) do it, although it's generally not deliberatley malicious, its a female thing. However, the women spreading the gossip about you, which you say is malicious and has no grounding, is unfair...gossip should never be spread or talked about if it can hurt a person or do damage in some way. Depending on the nature of the gossip, if it is personally damaging, and/or could have an affect on your work, staff relationships etc then something needs to be done. If you know for a FACT that this person started the gossip/rumours, then talk to her, found out why she said those things, it may be that there has been a chinese whispers affect, and that what she originally said has been taken out of all context...it could be that she feels threatened by you or is jealous in some way....it is probably fair to say that she lacks self esteem and this is her way of trying to build it up, by having control over something. bullies bully because they have no confidence and 'try to get in there first'. she probably misjudged you in the first place and things got ahead of her and now she has no way out. I suggest that you talk to her, give her the option to apologise.

find out why she did it, then, like an adult talk to her.

ok I've talked enough, hope you read this and it helps!

Answer 3

Oh, gossips are very vindictive people, how can you even assume your the 'bully' this woman who is been arrogant and malicious is the bully and not you, she must have had a very hard time in life to reflect her bitterness and fears in your direction, the best thing to do with bullies is to ignore them as hard as it is or go one better and speak to a superior about her treatment of you, this woman has no right to do what she is doing to you or to anyone else and for her to spread her gossip and nastiness around just shows what a very sad person she is, OK she might have been hurt but you were not the person that hurt her and she has no right hurting you for been who you are, stand up for yourself and take this matter further before it becomes such a bind on you it is hard to do your job, bullies are not worth the worry but are worth nipping in the bud, good luck.

Answer 4

Gossips are damaged and damaging people who are more bothered with what is happening in everyone else's lives instead of being concerned with their own. Might be an idea to point this out to her!!

If they stopped to look at the repercussions to their gossipping, then maybe they wouldn't do it.

Sorry about the rant but it's a subject which really annoys me. It is so unnecessary and hurtful for those on the receiving end of it!!!

Answer 5

The issue is damage control. My advice would be to get to know as many people in the office, even the people who gossip (yes, even men). You must have taken the position of someone in-house and the black-balling may be an attempt to discredit you enough to get you frustrated and fired/get you to quit.

Take to your superiors and ask for advice about the office culture that you just stepped into. Best ones would be the ones with the fewest years in the company, but hold positions of authority. Stay within your department on this because senior managers are territorial, even when they don't realize it. They want to keep as much of the negative inside their feifdom.

Hope those helped.


Good luck!


Peace.

Answer 6

Having been the victim of gossip in the past, I know how awful this is.

Best thing to do is to either live with it and console yourself with the though that while you are suffering, someone else is being let alone. Eventually the truth will out.

If this is not possible, then the person needs confronting about it to find out why they are doing it .

We only get one chance at life and it is up to each one of us to make it the best that we can.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Hi Happy, People who gossips need to be taking out and shot.I was marry to a beautiful loving and caring man in the early 70s and terrible and nasty rumors were spread about me,We had been marry 3 months and we love each other very much.But when these rumors got to my love,He started changes and acting funny.I couldn't figure out what in the hell was going on.Anyway,he file for a divorce and when back to his home state.Make along story short.A friend of mind found his # on one of those site for finding people.I called him and we talk for about one hour,thats when i found out why the divorce.I started crying and i couldn't stop.We divorced on nothing but lieing gossip and we loss 34 yrs. together.We still love each other very much and are trying to figure away to get togehter.See,he lives 3000miles from me.Once we get together,we are not letting go.So this
B I T C H who is spreading lieing gossip about you,comfront her, and tell her if she doesn't stop right now,you will turn her in to the boss,and let him handle it.People like this makes me deathly ill.

Clowmy

Answer 8

Gotcha. I truly understand how you are feeling and not able to get to grips with it becuase its happing outside coming at you.
If you live in Kent then I know their culture works in the gossip stream. I was told, 'we do it for a laugh, it's not nice at the time for the person, it's just a bit of fun'.
You do dont know if the named person is spreading the gossip, It could be a way of making you dislike someone who thiks your OK. The way to find out is to ask. Hello name I am told your saying nasty things about me. I don't want to get tough with it all but you are annoyning.

Answer 9

You need to speak to her, if you are sure that it is her, and ask her to stop - all very calmly of course, I completely understand your 'bully' worries - and if this has not effective then you might want to think about taking it to your HR person at work, as it is totally uacceptable that what one malicious person is saying should effect you at work. I think gossips are like bullies, very insecure, and somehow badmouthing gives them a sense of power, very pathetic but you shouldn't put up with it!

Answer 10

Workplace gossip tends to stem from insecurity, or from a "bully the new person" mentality to look funny in front of your friends. If you can't just ignore it, speak to the person, although this may excaserbate the problem, in which case it's time to speak to her manager. Don't retaliate by starting gossip about her yourself, that's the fast way onto a downward spiral of mutual hatred. She evidently thinks she's still at school, and it needs to be stopped. (You could show her answers to this thread.)

Answer 11

Gossips are not anymore damaged than the rest of us.

They are delusional and affected with inner fear of loosing or missing out on something. Gossips are obsessed with self recognition and importance. They do not think further than the "I. ME" and never think of the consequences of their actions or for that matter what they say is true.