Wife came home at 3am last night...?

Question

Ok....my wife was "out with the girls", which is fine.
She came home a little after 3am, which was odd.
I got upset once before when she came home late (months ago) - which led to problems, so I did not say much this time.
She took a shower as soon as she came in - odd again.
She says she was at the bar - but the bar closes at 1am.
And.....she initiated sex when she got into bed with me -
something that RARELY happens. And it was better than
we had it for a long time!
She is very vague about who was there with her and why she was there so late.
IF she was fooling around - why whouls she want to be intimate with me when she got home?
Do you think it is all innocent - or should I be concerned?
THanks.

We have been married 8 years - 2 kids. I stayed home with the kids, which is why i was not with her.
She DID run into her old boyfriend about 3 months ago...again - all coincidence??

Answer 1

Maybe someone got her turned on for you. If she falls pregnant, I would make sure to do a paternity check.

Answer 2

Yeah a few red flags here. You've wrote 2 "odds," a "rarely" (in capital letters) a "very vague" and the "old boyfriend."
Well it's good to shower after being out all night. It washes off a lot of things. And it's good to do before getting intimate. And initiating great sex could mean she's feeling very horny or feeling very guilty. Or both.
If I was out all night with my guy friends I wouldn't hesitate to tell anything that they were doing (drinking, carrying on ). But if it involved another woman, like an old girlfriend, I sure as hell would be vague and change the subject.
You were cool not to press it for now. Just stay cool see what happens. The next time she goes out ask her what time you'll expect her home that you worry about her.
Eight years together with kids is plenty of time to know each other. For now don't over react. But don't be blinded either.

Answer 3

I just read your question and truthfully it's hard to give an answer. But from what I read, if this kind of thing seldom happens, there's probably nothing going on. I was referring to her not coming home till early in the morning, taking a shower and initiating sex. I realize any change in pattern or routine can be a sign of cheating but then again, if it seldom happens, it's hard to come up with that conclusion. The thing about the bar closing at 1am is a little strange but have u considered that maybe she hung around with her friends a little after it closed? The thing about her wanting to have sex with u when she normally hardly initiates it is also strange but there could be other, more innocent reasons for this. The thing about her ex bf could very well be legitimate and she probably did just ran into him 3 mos ago.

So with that all said, I can't say if she is or isn't but if I were u, I would start looking out for additional signs. As I said earlier, if the things she does seldom happens, it's probably all innocent. However if there is a big change in her normal "routine" then it's cause for u to look in a bit harder. Don't just start accusing her of something if u don't have hard evidence to back that accusation up but at the same time, when something inside is telling u something is "out of place" don't ignore it either. So what I'm trying to say is that u should be looking for a consistent change in routine and some hard evidence.

Answer 4

You need to decide if you trust you wife or not. You might tell her how you feel. Don't make it a fight. Just tell her how you feel deep down. Do not make her feel like she did something wrong.
You also might ask her how she would feel if you had stay out that long without calling.

Taking a shower when she got home and then initiating sex is not the strange. She could have been thinking about you all night and when she go home she wanted to be extra clean and smell really good for you.

Talk and express your feelings. It could be nothing if you trust her. If you don't there most be reasons you don't have any trust in her.

Talk

Answer 5

How long have you been married? Short time? Long time? Did this just start or has it been going on more then just twice? Is this something she would be willing to talk about? If she gets defensive I would get concerned but I wouldn't jump on the divorce waggon. It could be that she is a little board and is in need of some spice in her life. She may be going out and just getting a breath of fresh air .. so to speak .. you may be able to turn things around before they get to far out of control. You might want to take a look at Ask Men.com.....good advice...and some eye openers for everyone!!! Good Luck

Answer 6

Often times, w/ cheaters, actions start to differ from the norm... my ex was a HUGE cheater, and the way he initiated, performed, and reacted to sex was not how he usually would have... Some ppl will want sex less, some more, while they are cheating... I hate to be cynical, but perhaps you should try discussing matters w/out "jumping" to conclusions or coming across as suspicious... She very well could be "cheating", in one form or another... Then again, she could just have been drunk and tired after a nite on the town w/ 'the girls'... Best of luck, sweetie!!!

Answer 7

I think that sounds real fishy.If you really want to find out call the people that she went with and really pin them down . Ask them all kinds of question-like "When did you all leave the bar", "what band was playing at the club?", Just anything that you can prove is a lie. See if everybody has the same story. She may have not even been with friends at all. I would check it out. But, like someone else said-if she is cheating she will find an excuse to go out again.

Answer 8

Don't worry yourself sick unless you get hard evidence.It's not like she is going out every night,she was probably just real glad to see you when she got back home.She probably thought of what she got at home that's good(that's you)and couldn't wait to see you.I am sure she took a shower because if you think about it, would you really want her to bring the smell of the bar onto your bedsheets?Just keep your eye open if she starts going out more often but since she is only going every once in awhile,you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Answer 9

I 'm not good at predicting anything but I'd assume she's messing around very much. I'm sorry but what a pathetic mother ( i use the term mother loosely) and wife. I've never agreed with either spouse doing a girls/ guys night out. That stuff is done when you're younger not a wife and mother. Good luck.

Answer 10

And you don't smell something fishy here. A husband and wife should go out together and hire a baby sister and that's what i would tell her and if she wants to stay out until 3 o'clock in the morning with out you then she will find the locks have been changed.

Answer 11

Your wife was out late. So what. Doesn't mean she was having sex or doing something wrong. She just wanted to go out and let off some steam. She is allowed to do that you know. You need to stop being so paranoid, cause it will end up sinking your marriage.