can you help me?

Question

i got married at the age of 16 and had my first born at the age of 16 too,since i married young and had a family young i lost all of my friends because i stoped partying, drinking, acting wild and going out. now i'm 26
for years i felt complete just by having my family members around, i still feel very happy and greatful to have my family, but i am starting to feel that i need to make some friends,i feel lonely, people always take a liking to me but i am scared to take the next step, it is very hard for me to socialize and carry on a conversation, what should i do to become less shy and more outgoing and more confidant?

Answer 1

You have to take the next step and not be afraid, at first you will be shy I can understand that, but in time you will be less shy and more confident. Stop waisting time and have the courage to step forward, because if you keep waiting life will pass by and you will miss all the fun. Be brave.

Answer 2

Somehow we are on the same boat. The only difference is, I have not married early.

I have an eighty 80 years old grandmother who still goes out with her six best friends all of whom she met when she was 21 or 22 years old. Thats approximately 60 years of friendship. I envy her so much particularly when I see them together.

I have lost contact with my friends eversince I raised my family. The last time I saw them was about twelve years ago. Surprisingly but very seldom, I get news about them and their whereabouts. I always wondered if they also get news about me? But sad to say, I will never know. Coz they don't try to find me, or I don't try to find them either. In one way or another, I always make my family as an excuse not to hang out or to make an adventure of looking for my friends.

Fortunately I have my husband, who have maintained quite a few of his friends through the years. They get to be my friends too.
So when there is an invitation from them, I do not pass or make an excuse.

People tell me that the best way to earn a friend is to smile. And it does work. I met two new people last week (one in a bank and one at the city hall) when they smiled back. Although I don't usually open a conversation, I get lucky, coz after I smile, they start to talk.

Its a very small and easy step. Take it from there. Who knows you might build up your friends list real quick than I do!

Good luck!

Answer 3

It's simple. Be yourself. Socialising does'nt mean you have to go out of your way to attract or please people. It also does'nt mean you have to go back to your partying, drinking and doing anything wild. Remember you are a young mother now and any wrong thing you do will affect your kid as well. But nothing can stop you from making new friends all the time. Read some motivational books to make yourself more confident and approachable. For a start make one or two new friends. Go out with them, may be shopping or a movie. Join them in some functions you are comfortable with. There you will get to meet and make more new friends. And soon you will realise you have more friends than you can handle.

Answer 4

You are feeling like most people that get married so young. You missed out on the social maturing and fun of your early adult hood. So many young people don't listen to others that getting married young takes so much away. You missed a lot because you got married so young.

I am sorry but you can never really get that back. You early adulthood is gone and you can not turn the clock back.

When you really understand that you can move on in the life you chose.

Answer 5

alot of the time in community's there are mom's groups or scouts or laegues or something that you can put your kids in andmeet the parents of the friends they make. Don't be afraid to take the next step in making friends.. how can you get any if you don't let them close? You have to open up to people in order for them to open up to you..... church is a good way to meet people too... and work

Answer 6

There is some good advice here. The basic thing you need to do is to do something. What are you interested in? Can you find a group with similar interests? Once you get started, you will find things easier as time goes on.

Answer 7

you should join a club. what are your job? maybe you can enter the cooking class and make friend there. or maybe yoga class.

i'm envy of you, you married at 16?!!! wow...it always been my dream to marry in young age. but in my dream it is between 18 to 20. now, i'm 17.

don't afraid to be socialize.

Answer 8

god says that you are never lonely. you can still socialize with your family and friends. do not be scared of what others might think of you. i am sure that you will get over this shyness if you go out some more for shoppings or fun parks. you will meet new faces by doing so and you will interact more with them.

Answer 9

I ahve felt the same way. But thanks to someone caring I found that this is corrected by meeting another that has felt the same and helped me through it. I am certain you are a beautiful and sexy young lady. you probaly have not been told this in a while and your husband is more into himself than you. too bad for him. he will lose in the end. the winner is the one who gives you the important things in life. yourself respect, your confidence and your freedom to feel that someone needs you for more than a room mate.etc.

Answer 10

you need to face reality. you never enjoyed your teen life. now, there's a small voice inside you reminding you of the things you should have enjoyed. don't be afraid to bring out the girl in you. you deserve to enjoy life. it's not too late.