How can I possibly keep my house clean when I have 3 young children?

Question

I am trying so hard to maintain a 'clean' house, and my idea of clean is 'tidy but still messy'. So when I say that it is filthy at the moment - it really is!My 2 year old pulls everything out. My 4 and 7 year old fight about putting things away because 'they didn't make the mess!'Ive tried reward charts,chore charts, setting a timer and sure - they all work for a small amount of time - but in the end the kids still foul up the place- they don't even think of putting a cup in the sink or an empty wrapper in the bin. I know they are children (and I dont expect the 2 year old to) but the others should.
Added to this I have the stress of a mentally ill H, who doesn't do anything around the house - inside or out. He wants to, but then gets distracted or falls to sleep etc. And at the moment we're walking on eggshells, so I can't harp too much.
I wish I could afford a cleaner - but then I'd have to clean before I let them come!
I know I need routine, but its just so hard when I work etc

Answer 1

Good luck! Some suggestions, get a black permanent marker, write each child's name on their cup and that is what they get to use for the day! Label all clothing tags, inside of socks and underwear with the marker, it makes sorting and putting away the washed laundry much easier! Only let them play with their toys in their room, if they bring any toys into other areas, put it in a box, tape it up, and put it in attic. In their room they get to choose how tidy or untidy it is (for the older ones)! If they break or lose a toy, reinforce that it is because they chose to have a messy room and in a clean room things do not get lost or broken. If you can not stand the messy room, shut the door to their bedroom. Invest in laundry baskets for each room. For the older child, if he wants something to be washed, it has to be in the basket or else it does not get washed! This might take a few times of them running out of clothes, if this happens, have a hideous, clean outfit set aside for this emergency and tell them that they can wear that outfit or put their laundry in the basket so it can be washed. Only say things once and then immediately follow through with any action. For example, if they do not pick up their toys, pack them up, stuff them in a box and mark on a calender when they will get them back, then give them back. You will have to repeat this a couple of times, but eventually they realize that you are not just going to threaten, you are going to do! Also, when doing chores, make it fun, paint your faces silly, put on some music or sing crazily about what you are doing. Children love to have fun and you will be surprised at how fun cleaning can be when you are laughing!

Answer 2

You know, I am so glad I took the time to read your question. When you think you are in bad shape, there is always someone a little worse off than you. I do not have a mentally ill husband and my children are both in college and my house is never clean! What is my excuse??? I'm really depressed because my youngest just went to school and I'm lonely. I remember when my girls were little and I could not get things done because I worked all day and then came home and played with the kids. My house was the last thing on my list then and now. I said the dirt would be around when the girls had gone... and it is... and I will get to it... I know exactly what you mean when you say you would have to clean before you felt comfortable bringing in a cleaner... I would too! I think you should teach your children responsibility to take care of their rooms but I know that you still have a lot to do ... laundry, dishes, meals, homework....etc. My advise to you would be try not to worry so much about the house and spend time with your kids. The dirt will be around for a long time!

Answer 3

BIG clean out time! For starters the two year old is quite capable of putting toys back in the box or putting a cup on the sink. If they can't put a wrapper in the bin they are going to have to sit at the table and eat at all times (at least the mess is contained to the table then). A big spring clean will free the house up of the clutter, I used to tell my kids they needed to give toys to the poor kids so there was room for new ones when santa came. The less stuff you have the less needs to be picked up. Think about organising the kids rooms a bit with big boxes etc that are easy for them to toss stuff in. Next they make the mess they clean it up or they don't get to play. Tell them mummy needs there help.

Answer 4

I feel your pain! I have put a calendar on the refrigerator with each childs name and their chore for the week. They switch off on chores every Sunday. If they do not acomplish their one chore such as, trash duty, keeping the living room cleaned, or helping in the kitchen then they will have to do double duty the following week and someone get is off. We've had our struggles but it helps me out a lot! Since your kids are younger try simple chores like wiping down the sinks, picking up toys in one room, helping mom with dinner, etc.

However the biggest thing I've done to start changing things in my house is couseling. I am so tired of the kids fighting. I can stand a messy house more than I can fighting they will fight over anything. Even who is going to clean the toilet, and it's not who doesn't want to do it, it's that each of them WANT to do it! It's crazy. So I've just recently made an appointment for family counseling to help my husband and myself with ideas on keeping family unitity and peace.

Answer 5

When my kids leave their dishes, etc. I wait until they walk away then I call them back. They get so sick of being called back 5 times and interrupted from their playing that they start to do what I expect. This is about the only thing that has really worked for me.
I also do not let them do anything until they have completed a task. For example; if they ask to play computer or go outside I say "Yes, as soon as you put the dishes away you may." Or have them pick up and put away 5 toys, or carry clothes to the laundry room... After a bit you will have them coming to you saying "I picked up all of the toys. Can I play a game system?"
Hope it works. You could always try tickets after they get themselves in a habit. Give them a ticket when they are responsible and remember to pick up and put away. Then they can cash in the tickets at the end of the week for candy or ice cream or something. That is what we are doing now and it is helping. They must remember to brush their teeth, do their homework and chores, etc. without being told. If they do they earn a ticket. I do not allow a lot of candy and sweets so they are happy to get the chance to "buy" something from mom's stash of goodies.

Answer 6

This worked for me when my brothers were ages 4 and 6.

I'd walk into their room and say." Hm, time to clean up!"
Of course they'd fuss about who made the mess like your kids.I'd tell them, " Well I didn't make the mess either but somebody's gotta clean it up.It's not fair but it has to be done--- lets work together." Then I'd help them clean, giving out assignments ( including myself). I'd say -- You pick up the clothes and you pick up the toys. I'm going to clean off the beds and make them up."
When the job was complete....we'd all get a reward. Sometimes the reward was just standing back and looking at the beautiful room and congratulating each other.They responded well to sincere compliments.
Soon it got to the point where I would ask them instead of tell them what they were going to do to help clean up the room.
As they got older we would assign a room to ourselves ( bedroom-bathroom-kitchen etc...) until the house was clean.

This all took time and patience but they learned the importance of cleaning and how teamwork made a big job easier.
Also, when they helped clean they took the initiative of making sure it stayed that way longer. They'd even ask me.... " Are you messing up my hard work?? You'd better not be!!"
I'd just grin and clean up my mess. After all, they were imitating me----if I didn't clean up my mess they'd probably do the same.

Don't think a child is too young to clean.I'm starting my cleaning program all over again with my 1 and a half year old nephew. At the end of the day I say , " Time to clean up!" And I grab a toy and throw it in the toybox. Then I point to one for him to pick up. He gets a cheer when he puts it in the box too.We continue this until all the toys have been picked up .Then I give him an " Alriiiiight" and a high-five , or sometimes just a hug and a thanks for helping clean up .Clean-up is fun for him.

Perhaps this method will work with your children. Cleaning up doesn't have to be a party but try to not make it a burden.

It sounds like you have your hands full but things can get easier for you with firm yet loving persistence.
Teaching the children left in my care was tireing , but worthwhile in the end. It got easier as they learned.

I wish the same for you! :)

Answer 7

the 2 and 4 year old are at the perfect age to deal with. The 7 year old will be the hardest. Children want to please the parent. 2 is not too youg to put away dishes or throw away trash. If anything they are better at it than the older kids. Never underestimate the ability of your children. My kids love the charts!!!! I am the one that has a hard time sticking to it not them. I have a 4 and 10 year old.

flylady.net changed my ways of thining and now I don't tend to stress as much and we get much more accomplshed than pre-flylady. check it out!!!!!

Set the timer and be consistant!!!

My husband used to not do anything because he was too over whelmed. He told me he would rather not do it and and me get mad at him than to do something and get yelled at for doing it wrong. He now sets the timer for his rest time and his cleaning time.

I can't stress how much flylady helps in the cleaning and the stress of your household.

Don't expect change over night because that just isn't going to happen! It will get better just try to be more consistant and if something doesn't work for you change it until it does.

Answer 8

Well seeing how you children are so young its not going to be that easy. You have to teach them early. the 2 and 4 year old are certainly not going to be easy to change because the fact that they're 2 and 4 and all they want to accomplish in live is finding the biggest booger they can in that endless tunnel the "big people" call a nose. You'd be better off focusing on the 7 year old and the 4 year old will probably look up to the 7 year old and copy.

Answer 9

Make a game of it and involve the kids! Offer a reward, like a game with them when the tidying and cleaning is done! make it a race to see who can put the most away and the reward is something really good for the winner and a 2nd and 3rd prize for the others. Things like your time spent with them doing something the winner REALLY wants to do, or likes.
It's not good to use food rewards. A special game, outing or time spent with the winning child first then 2nd place etc!
Worked with mine!

Answer 10

Be easy on yourself, your children are still young for cutting pocket money etc, and so it is mostly up to you, my mother worked and had a spotless house (three children) but she was always "too busy" to spend any time with us. Messy house, loving understanding mum with time for whats important.