Is it okay for a married man to keep his checking account (where his paycheck is deposited) in his and his ex-wife's name for her to use when their 17 year old daughter needs something...like restaurants, groceries, electronics, clothing, gifts for friends, household items, gas, convience store items, etc? Or should he just give his ex-wife money for those things their child needs and close that checking account and open a new account with his new wife? Should his new wife feel hurt if he refuses to close that account with his ex-wife, and refuses to open a new bank account in his and the new wife's name? The husband insists this method of child support payment is the only way to do it. Every month the man looks over his ex-wife's debits and if he thinks she spent too much money it is understood that he will chastise his ex-wife for it, but that has never happened no matter how much is spent.This man is not as generous with his new wife. Should the new wife feel hurt? I need to know..
2006-09-03 17:36:38 · 28 answers · asked by Judith 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ex-wife should not have access to money that ex husband currently makes. That's why she's an ex. New wife should be worried and have a talk with husband to remove bank account with exwife and put one up with wife on it. He should be more generous with wife. That's why he's with her and not the ex.
2006-09-03 17:38:37 · answer #1 · answered by zebo007 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, he should not have her name on his account. There's other ways to give his daughter support, like a debit card. I would feel deeply hurt and feel as though I wasn't even a close second best. I would feel as though maybe he should have stayed married to her, if he's going to do this and continue to support her. The daughter is 17, what happens when she turns 18 and the need to support her is gone? Will he still give his ex money? If he doesn't support you like he supports his ex-wife, I would say sit down and talk to him and make him come to an understanding of how this affects you. There's no need to have her on the account still. Run up some high bills and then he'll see how expensive it is to support two wifeys. A**!
2006-09-03 17:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by windandwater 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still emotionally married to the old wife! Demand he get rid of the account because it affects your life also. If he wants to have an account for support that is different.He can put the ssme amount in each mo and let her write cks or he SHOULD just send the support through the court system. I would imagine his ex would like to have her life free from him without his dictating over her also. He has the best of two worlds and is CONTROL OF BOTH WOMEN AND HIS DAUGHTER! You must get out from under this control or it will only get worse. Tell him your feelings. Discuss it with the ex when you are alone. She may feel overwhelmed by his control and aggressive behavior also. Maybe together you can get your lives free and still keep him if you really love him that much. Or is he controlling that also? Best wishes!
2006-09-03 18:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i kept reading and reading waiting to see if he was remarried and in the end was a lil tiny comment about the new wife. yes the new wife has every right to demand that your money is out of her hands and i say your money as everything that comes into the new brides home via yours and his paycheck is your and his none of hers the only money that he should have direct deposited to her account would be the money he has legally owed her and you and he can decide what is legit to give her past that. it reads as if the new wife is very weak kneed and has no spine and is very dangerouse that she would allow the ex to have any control over anything as there is a reason she is the ex and i personally think who gives a damn if the ex gets offended this is your husband 100% and is 0% hers. im still shaking my head as im extemely embarrased for the new wife as she is nothing more to him then someone who should not rock the boat. again again and again i say the new wife need to get a spine and take her house back or rather finally sit on her thown as the queen of the house and boot the ex wife out. im sorry if this offends any one but damn
2006-09-03 18:02:29 · answer #4 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an issue you should have dealt with long before you got married. The level of involvement in each others lives is not healthy for two divorced people.
He should pay child support, but how she spends that money or how much she spends on what is in no way his issue. As far as chastising her, that is way beyond his rights. His ex should have put a stop to that. These behaviors show that he is still emotionally involved in the previous relationship and not nearly as invested in the new marriage as he should be.
This is a real messy situation and not a bit healthy...good luck!!
2006-09-03 17:42:57 · answer #5 · answered by Christina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woman u need to make some serious changes! If my bf wanted to have a joint account with his ex wife then i would tell him that he could have her and that im gone! He pays her child support for his 2 kids but its taken out of his work check. (ur hubby could also just write her a check each week/month) for the amount that the "courts" decide he should pay. YOU should come first, not the ex wife!
2006-09-03 18:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by Hilllbilly_gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ARE U NUTS.. u have to be kidding me.. she should not have any access to your husbands financial situation and ur monthly financial situation shouldnt be based on how much she spends, he mine as well be married to her as well, cause other then the paper work and him not living with her thats whats happening.. what happens the day she spends to much and u cant afford ur morgage or your bills, she just gets repremanded? are u serious?
I mean it would be one thing, if he put so much money into a different account a specified amount each month, that she could draw off of, but to put all of his money into an account and she can use it at whim, thats nuts.. that is disrespectful to u , and your household, and ur needs, Paying childsupport is one thing, paying for everything for her is another.. YES Id be hurt, and id be frantic if a day came that she decided to buy a car or something and just said what the hell and with drew most of your husbands and ur money.. thats crazy and ur crazy for allowing it.. and ur crazy for knowing this is what he did before u married him cause id bet u did know about this but looked the other way.. in hopes he would change..
2006-09-03 17:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, why would you marry a guy that does NOT love you? If he wants the daughter to have some of his money fine. He should open a joint account with the daughter. The ex-wife access to his account, hum interesting. You probably knew about this before you married him. Sorry honey, you made your bed and now you have to lie in it! You had it coming.
2006-09-03 17:51:26 · answer #8 · answered by wishuponstarson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Judith, could you be the new wife?
No, it is not okay for a man to keep a checking account open with the ex-wife and allow her access to his paycheck. It is not okay to refuse to close that account and refuse to open an account with his new wife. The new wife should realize there are problems in her marriage that need to be solved sooner rather than later.
2006-09-03 17:41:20 · answer #9 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The ex-wife is the ex, she should no longer exist in that sense. If he needs to have an account because of their daughter, then he should open a joint account with the daughter. He should have a seperate account either just for himself or with his new wife in which his check is deposited. The new wife should DUMP HIS *** if he refuses to share this part of his life with her, and the new wife should also explain that she will DUMP HIS *** if he continues to treat her as if she didn't exist.
2006-09-03 17:41:13 · answer #10 · answered by jeshzisd 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋