My friend is making poor decisions on rasing her child. Do I try and help or mind my business and keep quiet?

Question

I understand that she needs to have a baby sitter on occassions...but she has people watch her son that I wouldn't touch with a 12 foot pole. She doesn't care who watches him...just watch him and keep him alive until she gets back from school...work...or a party....She should screen these people she calls baby sitters and hire somebody that can be trusted in her home and with her child.
Am I wrong??

Answer 1

If her poor decisions could possible affect the welfare (physical or emotional) of this child, you need to report her to Child Protective Services. If it's not that, just you don't agree with her parenting style, I'd keep out of it.

Answer 2

It kinda depends on what 'poor decisions' you're talking about.

If it means that she's formula feeding instead of breast, or not waiting until 4 months to start cereal, or not always having a hat on the baby, then you should really mind your own business. Those kinds of things most likely won't hurt the baby at all, and are totally up to her as to how she's like to do things.

On the other hand, if you mean she's taking the baby to parties that last until midnight, or she's leaving the baby unattended in a car, or she's abusing the baby, or she's practically starving the baby, then yes, you need to speak up, because her actions are definitely hurting the baby.

Hopefully, you mean she's doing things more like the first examples, and not like the second ones.

Answer 3

You are a good friend but telling her might ruin your friendship. I was in the same situation, my best friend of 20 yrs was a party animal and left her child with anyone , it got to the point where her child didn't know her name anymore , I sat down and talked to her about it thinking I was being a good friend , from that day I haven't heard from her . It has been about 1 yr now. If you do talk to her about it , sit down by yourself and think of what you're going to say before you actually do it with her

Answer 4

Do you have kids? If you don't, Mind Your Own Business.

If you do, think about how you would have liked it. Maybe you could say something about what parenting books or websites you read. Or you can tell her about all the ridiculous advice you got when your kids where that age. Or just commiserate about how hard it is to be a parent.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

It depends on how you're friend is, like if she gets bugged when you tell her something it's best to mind your business. She'll learn that was she's doing is affecting her child. But if you really care for her child you should tell her, even if she gets mad. Hey, it's the truth!

Answer 6

If it is physically damaging to the child, get involved immediately. If it is not that extreme, then try to help by relating to her "stories" about what happened to other parents that made mistakes similar to hers...in other words, don't make it a personal attack on her. You want her to LISTEN to you, not turn you away in defense.

Answer 7

depends on what you would call poor decisions? what exactly is she doing thats so bad? if you're really good friends with her, try to talk to her about it.. and if that doesnt work, and shes hurting her child, call someone to take the kid away, or help the mom.. there's organizations that help new mothers.. does she have any support?

Answer 8

I would talk to her because there are enough screwed up people out here in this world because of bad parents. Talk to your friend and possibly the childs father.

Answer 9

I think you are entitled to make suggestions to her to try and help out,but don't tell her how to raise her kid.If you do you could loose a friendship.She may want to hear your advice but if not don't push it.

Answer 10

She'll probably just get mad so if the child isn't in harms way I'd stay out of it~