The father of my baby is still married. In which I never new untill I was 4months preg. My question is> Do I have to let him see her? I want nothing to do with him.And I don't want my baby around him. Is there any way I can keep him from coming to see us when I have her in October ? How do I go about getting all rights ? Please HELP !
2006-09-03 16:26:15 · 13 answers · asked by luuvabear 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
talk to an attorney and they'll give you advice, but if i'm not mistaken, he has no rights if he doesnt sign the birth certificate. either way, i'm sure he'd be willing to give up his rights if he thought it would come out in the open and jeopardize his marriage. he is trash and i don't blame you for wanting nothing to do with him and wanting to keep YOUR baby away from him. if anything, put a restaining order on him just in case if you think he will give you problems. as far as youre concerned, that is your baby and you make the decisions.
2006-09-03 16:33:46 · answer #1 · answered by melanie c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, just because you don't want anything to do with this guy, doesn't mean your child won't when he/she gets a little older. I know you are thinking that you are doing the right thing, or may be worried that he and his wife may try to take the baby from you, but you need to stop, take a deep breath and put yourself outside the box. I know it will be hard, but considering the circumstances surrounding this pregnancy, you are going to go through harder things. From a legal stand point he has just as much of a right to the baby as you do. And if you don't want it to go bad, let him know when the baby is born. If he chooses to come and see the baby, that's his right. But then get yourself a court order for visitation immediately. And being that the baby is a newborn, it can be supervised visitation and only for a few hours until the baby is older. You have to give him the option. You also should just ask if he wants to be a parent, or he would rather sign over his parental rights because of his marriage. He may just do that to spare the wife heartache. But, if you do that, keep in mind, that means no support from this man what so ever.
Your situation is a catch 22. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. You already know the answer to your question and if you want confirmation, then put yourself in your child's shoes 12 years from now, when he/she starts demanding answers about dear old dad. Sometimes following your heart isn't always the right way to go. I know it will be hard, but you'll find a way to get through it.
2006-09-03 23:43:58 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will have to see a lawyer but I think you will find that he will have every right to the child. the only way out of this is to lie and say this is not his baby but this is not good for a couple of reason. 1: he may later demand a test to be done. 2 the baby one day will want to know and even go and try and find out who there daddy is so I would not go down that track. you may get lucky and he may not want any thing to do with the child in the first place. Then your off the hook.. until one day if the child wants to know.
2006-09-03 23:32:58 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs Magoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
although i find it hard to believe you didnt know in four months that he was married . ill just look past this and answer the real question first off this man is married and i dont think his wife would like it much to find out that she is married to a cheating slugg so chances are he wont attemp to contact you or even to start a legal precedings since you wont put him down as the father on the birth certificate thus cuasing him to have to force a court case to force you to do a dna test becuase as the mother of the child all you have to say is it isnt his and he has to legally manuver the system to make you prove him wrong and again he wont do it. your answer is easy enough as he hasnt the backbone to honor his marriage vows, what makes you think he will have the back bone to be a good father and fight for his child. im guessing if you moved in a six months he wont even rember your name to find you anyhow......good luck as your child will need it more then anyone when you try and explain the mess you created.
ps for the childs sake you need to write down and info on the father you can remeber becuase one day the child will want to see who his real father is. dont trust your memory as it will forget important info over the next 18 years
2006-09-03 23:38:33 · answer #4 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need to go to court.... File for full custody non-visitation, You may need to also get a restraining order...
He may not want to see the child because he is still hiding the affair from his wife, If he does insist on seeing the child make sure to have his wive supoenaed to court... I am sure having his wife there to learn that he not only had an affair but produced a child will make his day...
Make sure it all done legally....
2006-09-04 00:49:32 · answer #5 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would have to go to court for full custody. If he wants to have her in his life, then you should let him, unless he is unfit. Don't deprive your daughter of a father just because you hold a grudge against him. It wouldn't be right for the child. There are so many parents that just don't give a d*mn about their children. If he wants to take responsibility then you should feel lucky.
2006-09-03 23:34:11 · answer #6 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that you will need to bring to court .. Sorry about the whole situation and its sticky. But really go speak to a lawyer and find out your rights now.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-03 23:29:33 · answer #7 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to sign over his rights completely, if you are very sure you don't want child support. If you are doing this because he is married and you don't want to cause a big
problem, well don't let him off so easy, he should be made to face up to the responsibility, regardless of the
fact that he is married.
2006-09-03 23:36:20 · answer #8 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to go to court and let the judge figure it out.Let him know that you where deceived by him.Does his wife know if not I would let her know and see it that will change his mind.But when it all comes down you have to give him that right if he wants it.
2006-09-03 23:42:52 · answer #9 · answered by missmadhatter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. But I'm sure your still fine with collecting child support from him. You can't have one or the other, he is either allowed to see her, or he owes you no support.
2006-09-03 23:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by wrf3k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋