How do I help those I hate?

Answer 1

Hate is a very strong emotion.
And if someone you hate has asked for your help then that should tell you that they are making an effort. Which should make it easier. If you are trying to help someone you hate without them asking for it then not only will you despise them but they will only despise you more. Don't give help where help is not asked for, or where it will not be welcomed.

Answer 2

You've got some very interesting answers there, but none of them suggest the most obvious way: help make them better.

If there are people whom you hate (let's assume deservedly so), then it is because they do bad things, have bad characters, or promote bad beliefs. By far the greatest cause of this is ignorance, so one way to help those you hate is to teach them. I don't mean just telling them what you know, but showing them in a way so that they understand it themselves, and change for the better.

Another way you can show people you hate a way to be better is to lead by example. Don't resort to the hateful tactics they use; be better than that--sometimes, when people open their eyes and see that someone good really does live according to their own principles, without hate, they lose their cynicism and make a change in themselves, for the better.

If these things don't work, there is not too much more you can do. Some people don't WANT to change. In my own view, it is ok to oppose and resist these people (though not by any means, but only humane ones).

Answer 3

Focus on God, not yourself.

Realize that God makes some smarter than others, and that you shouldn't hate anyone just for being less than you are.

See your own flaws.

When someone does something bad, imagine how patient you would be with them if they were your child, brother/sister, or parent.

If they are truly worthy of your hate, then find peace knowing that helping the wicked is only piling burning coals on them if they do not turn away from their wickedness.

Answer 4

First of all "Hate" is a very powerful term and word that is used loosely and destructively today. OMIT it from your vocabulary alltogether.

Let's say you don't care for someone's action, behavior or characteristics. It just doesn't agree with you. Just say: "Geez, I don't care for John's lateness at events which causes a lot of trouble." You may not like John, but at least you put him in a good light and didn't use the word "hate."

When you hate this thing, that person, and use it constantly, you really hate yourself, and then all else.

Answer 5

Learn not to hate. Instead of taking things personally, accept that all hardship is part of life. If someone has done you wrong, it isnt because you are a bad person - no matter what they do- that wont change as long as you learn not to hate.

If we hate someone for what they do, we are no better than them. Also, by hating them we hold them too close to our hearts and trap them in our thoughts.

Answer 6

This is a very good question. I would say that you (or I) who hate need to help our selves and stop the hatred. Only then we can start thinking of helping the ones we used to hate.

Answer 7

Your handle says it all: bend. Bend a little. Not literally, but alter your feelings to make them be more loving toward the person as a human being if everything else about them hurts or angers you so much. You don't have to love someone to help them. If nothing else, consider how God loves you no matter what you do and how you would not want to be unloved yourself. Sounds preachy or something, but it works for me when I'm having hard feelings about something.

Answer 8

Read Stephen Covey's "7 Habits." He talks about "paradigm shifts", and how to see things through the eyes of others. His focus is on working with someone you have trouble with, rather than against them. It doesn't always work, but it does sometimes prevent me from getting really enraged at a person when I am able to envision things from their perspective.

Answer 9

Why help them if you hate them?

Answer 10

Love them