How do you deal with a vindictive spouse that is fighting the divorce?

Question

I filed for divorce but my spouse counter filed for gruel and abusive and told people that the longer the fight the longer the spouse would stay married. My spouse uses my children as pawns not giving me any time except within the temporary orders. She had anger issues and I have a very good GAL Report staing I should have more time with my kids.

Answer 1

Document everything.. every time u call the kids, whether u got to speak to them or not..

Document every time u asked to have the kids and she denied u..

Document the occasions that she is using ur children as pawns, and any mental abuse she may be doing to them to get at u..

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING TIMES DATES WHAT HAPPENED.. Get a answering machine, and let the answering machine pick up a few times to get her on the answering machine if she is being a B***H on it, that will prove to the courts her erratic behavior.. and is allowed in court since she knows shes being recorded..

U need to show proof that she is unstable, and the kids arent in the best custody by being with her..

Answer 2

Well don't give her any leverage to use against you in court. Be polite and respectful even if you think your teeth will fall out. Show that you are a good and responsible father and that the only thing that matters to you is the safety of your children. Get a great lawyer preferably a woman. If you have already filed then make sure that you know that in most states until the divorce is finale you have as much right to your children as she does. Since you are the one that filed make sure that you try something like joint custody or you have sole custody. Whatever it takes make sure that you don't say bad things about her to your children, That will only make things worse. Good luck

Answer 3

I have a ex just like this. I have been documenting everything that she did for the past two years but here is the rub no one cares lawyers, courts etc. Its almost to a point that who ever runs out of money loses. I would try searching out support groups for yourself. Be a good dad with your kids never bad-mouth your children's mother and be there for the kids by calling, emailing and be as active in their lives as you can. Don't give up they need both parents and if your ex is doing damage then your job is even more important because even through all the process the ones who sees everything is your kids and they will remember everything. Good luck

Answer 4

Well the C&A doesn't help matter and it seems to be continuing. Your kids are suffering in the meantime whether you think so or not. Try another track and get along with her...sincerely. Of course she is angry...what did you expect? Get an attitude adjustment and think about what you are both doing to these kids.
Nobody here knows the real truth but you so there are no answers here...except what you want to hear. The kids need a mother and a father...start acting like one.

Answer 5

Give her everything she wants and ask for custody of the kids. Remain calm, get a good lawyer and don't ever bad mouth her to your kids. Keep the details of the divorce away from them and make sure they are getting counseling, its free at most schools.

Answer 6

Document EVERYTHING, but let your attorney handle things. There is not much you can do until the court hearings are finished, so bear with it.

What's the reason for the divorce???

Answer 7

Document how she is being and get a good lawyer. Can you file for child custody yet?

Answer 8

FIGHT FOR EQUAL TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN. It will take time, patience and alot of money but don't give up. The best parent is both parents. It took the two of you to conceive the children and it should take both of you to raise them.

Answer 9

Yes, I was going to say the same but it's not legal!
Hell, you are caught between a rock and hard place. I feel for you!

Answer 10

You need a good attorney. Your kids need a good counselor/therapist.