Who knows someone that's committed suicide?

Question

My ex boyfriend committed suicide last year. I hadn't talked to him for about 3 years so it wasn't horrible for me to deal with. Just a huge shock. Plus I cannot even begin to imagine what his family is going through. What do you say to family/friends of someone who's killed themself? I still think about him and his poor family often.

Kathy, you are an insensitive whore.

Answer 1

Let them know that you are sorry and you know he must have very depressed to taken such a extreme measure. This was not the real him and if he could see all the hurt it has caused, he wouldn't do it again.

Answer 2

Just say, "I'm so sorry for your loss," just the same as you would say to anyone who has suffered the death of a loved one. Don't mention the suicide. Think of some happy memory you had of this guy, and let the family know that he meant a lot to you, and that you've had the family in your thoughts. They will appreciate that.

Yes, suicide is a tragic thing, and it happens in hundreds of cases every year. The thing that's even more tragic is that help is available to people who are depressed enough to end their lives
but they don't seek that help -- often keeping everything inside until it just blows up.

I had a friend who O.D'd on Meth. He was a happy-go-lucky sort of guy, and everyone was shocked. This may have been an accidental death, but there are some who said he was depressed and didn't show it.... Tried to cover it up. So we can't be sure if it was intentional or not.

Answer 3

I had an ex commit suicide. I gave birth to his daughter a year and a half before. He was extremely wrapped up in drugs and couldn't/wouldn't get clean. I haven't seen his family or anyone that knew him since he died. I don't feel bad for him, just his father and his brothers (his mother is no longer living). He had never made an effort to see his child, or to be a parent. Neither did any of his family. Eventually my daughter will ask about her Bio-Father and I'm not quite sure what I'm going to tell her.

Suicide is the cowards way out of your problems. In my mind there is nothing in this world that is so bad as to kill yourself over it. The families are left without alot to go on when it comes to reasoning, and are often anger ridden and grieve alot longer because they have no closure.

If you feel that you want to talk to his family, then be sure to only bring up happy memories. Express your condolences genuinely and let them know how loved this person was by you. Thats about all that you can do.

Good luck :) I am sorry for your loss as I do know what its like to lose people you care about. :)

Answer 4

I've known quite a few by now, actually. Mostly it was old friends that I hadn't seen already in a number of years, and I found out about it way after the fact. In any case, it's always sad to hear.

The most recent one, which happened 2 or 3 years ago, continues to haunt me from time to time.

I had a neighbor who was a bit of a pest - quite pathetic, actually. He used to show up at my door all the time, wanting to come in and hang around. I wasn't the least bit interested in him - and he kinda creeped me out - but I felt he was harmless, so sometimes when I wasn't too busy, I'd let him come over and visit for awhile. He lived alone with his mother who drank too much, and I kind of felt SORRY for him. He was a mess.

One Saturday night, though, he popped by, and I already had company. I came to the door, and as politely as I could, explained that I had some friends over, and now wasn't a good time. He seemed DEVASTATED that I didn't invite him in to join the "party". But he had more than worn out his welcome ALREADY with me. Yes, he was pitiful and had nobody. But I couldn't be responsible for that.

Anyway, he went on home. The next afternoon his mother called me on the phone, and informed me that in the early morning hours of the night before, Dana had gotten ahold of some little "cap gun", laid down on his bed, and shot himself through the heart. He was dead for hours before she went into his room the next day to wake him up.

I can't step out my back door without seeing where his room used to be. I can still see his face, hear his voice. It still bothers me that maybe somehow I could have said or done something different. I knew he had contemplated suicide beforehand, but was preoccupied with my OWN problems.

Answer 5

Honey, there isn't much you can do or say to the family. I had a friend committ suicide my junior year in high school. She even left a note explaining why. Being close to her and her family, a few girlfriends of mine went over to visit the mother with our scrapbooks and pictures in an attempt to ease her pain. Although she told us she appreciated it, it was clear it only brought her more pain. It's been a year. Chances are they have started to move on. Why not visit the gravesite, and leave something special for him. When they see it, they'll know someone cared and it will warm their hearts.

Answer 6

As a matter of a fact I know 2 different families who lose someone by suicide, both of them hung theirselfs from a tree..It was a tragic time for both families both of the boy's ( no kin and did not know each other) were in there early twenties..Depression was the cause in each case..But as far as what to say to the family that's a tough one really all you can say is how sorry you are that it happened..Nothing you say is really going to take their pain away..Only time...Just let them know you cared is enough..

Answer 7

Yes I know of one or two people who I knew indirectly and they committed suicide.
It is an awful thing to happen. It is very devastating for the family and near and dear ones.
It is mostly the result of extreme depression and a very selfish act. The person who takes his life may not feel pain any more but the suicide creates a lot of pain and guilt for people left behind. For the family of the deceased you can express your sympathy and pray to God to give them strength to be able to live beyond this tragedy.

Answer 8

My uncle commited suicide when I was young. Also, my ex-boyfriend commited suicide. It was a couple of years after we went out but I ran into his brother and all I could say was- I'm sorry about his loss.

Answer 9

I know several people that have killed themselves and I know of one that tried and wasn't successful. There isn't much you can say or do. It wasn't your fault. The only thing I can tell you is, maybe sending a card every now and then letting them know you are thinking of them might be a nice gesture. I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

I can't say that I knew anyone personally but I have heard of others committing suicide who were friends of my friend. Click here to learn more about suicide:

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/