I have a new friend that I am concerned about. I will try to explain as best I can
This person is always leaving jobs for the flimsiest reasons. Therefore this person is always looking for a job. This person was homeless on several occasions, but has an apartment now. Just recently this person is without a job again and is in danger of being evicted if a job isn't found in time to pay the next installment of rent.
This person is always telling me that they are looking for something better and when they get it, it is not what they are looking for so they quit after a season.
My question is how do you deal with a friend who tells you something and it just doesn't seem to ring true with you? Something is wrong or missing in what they say and you just can't put your finger on it!
2006-09-03 13:38:34 · 14 answers · asked by December Princess 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Talk to your friend. Tell them that you think that they need to find what they are looking for because the life they are living now isn't good. tell them that you want to be their friend but you don't know if you can because of the stress of worrying about them.
2006-09-03 13:43:55 · answer #1 · answered by A Fire Inside 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with your friend. If they are your true friend then you should be able to tell them anything, even if it has too do with them.
Start out like: Listen, I'm finding it hard to believe that every job you've had, isn't for you. Also, everytime you leave a job, you tell me that you might have to go homeless and that bothers me as if you want me to take you in. (Use your own words, this is only an example). I value our friendship, but I can't take always hearing that you left another job just because it didn't feel right for you. Let them know you want to remain friends (if you do), but it's getting hardeer and harder for you to believe them when they keep losing jobs or leaving jobs for no apparent reason.
The reason you might not be able to put your finger on what needs to be said to your friend, might be that you are afraid that they will get an attitude with you, because you are butting into their business. But, if they are including you in their business, then you could remind them of that. No, it won't seem right too you until you say something to your friend.
Ask them, what type of a job would be right for them? Maybe you would know of someone in that type of field. Or maybe school is what they are striving for. Whatever it is that your friend is looking for, is their problem, but they chose to include you in it.
So, take it in stride that for now no matter what job your friend has, it's just not going to satisfy them until they are comfortable with their own life.
I hope this makes sense or helps you.
2006-09-03 13:50:35 · answer #2 · answered by freeandsimple3056 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.................Sometimes you just have to let them be who they are and not get involved with what is going on in their life. You can be their friend but be at a distance. Don't outright fix all their problems or you wont be helping them at all even though they might terminate the friendship over it. By fixing all their problems you are encouraging their type of behavior. The sad and horrifying fact about working for a living is having to put up with all the "Crap" that comes with it and it ain't pretty either! I think honestly your friend is just looking for that Utopia job that does not exist. I used to have that illusion many years ago when I was young and it took me a long time to figure out that every job is horrifying no matter who you work for and what you do! I don't think it is anything more than that other than possibly doing drugs like "Meth". Meth causes alot of dysfunction with its use. Some people hide it rather well, Ive been duped a time or two in my life by these types of people. I wouldn't concern yourself with what is going on with them. Just keep at a safe distance as not to get wrapped up in their "Drama". They LOVE DRAMA! If you do get wrapped up in the drama, you may be sucked in so far that your own life is destroyed as a result of it. Be very careful!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-03 13:52:11 · answer #3 · answered by soniaatcalifornia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your instincts. If you friend is always having drama it sounds like a very one way relationship. Ask yourself what you are really getting out of this? If you choose to remain friends, tell your friend that you also have financial commitments and you don't mix money with friendship. Encourage them to stick with a job until they have the resources to truly find what they want. With no job history it will really hurt them later on, what kind of resume can they possibly include on an interview!
If your friend doesn't get it than keep things on a lighter note. But always listen to your instincts!
Good luck!
2006-09-03 13:44:41 · answer #4 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try one of these
1 set them up with someone you know, maby they're looking in the wrong places for what thye are looking for
2 see if they want to try college. diverse classes, and the people are from all over. they are bored, and don't want to live the minimum wage live, or they are lonely. college might help him in both fronts. you can't change a person how ever you try. it's hi life. if they're afraid of the rough world, that's thier problem. you can try to help, but if it dosen't work then leave him be. with no one to help, they'll just have to learn gto stand on thier own or fail all thier lives. a caring friend helps, a smart one knows when to give up.
2006-09-03 13:51:46 · answer #5 · answered by jt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't your problem. It seems that this person is always looking for something better for them handed to them. All you can do is encourage your friend. They won't change unless they have reached rock bottom. If they have, then they will get themselves right back up. These people usually bounce back from situations. Don't worry
2006-09-03 13:44:12 · answer #6 · answered by Yup! I'm a girl! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's one thing to not settle for less than you can achieve,but another to make excuses for laziness.
If this is a new "friend" then you'd do best to "unfriend" this person in a hurry.It's my experience that people like that lean on their "friends" for help that they don't really deserve or haven't earned.
Get lost before this person starts asking you for help with the rent,or worse,a place to crash.
Trust me on this one!
2006-09-03 13:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by Danny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him/her you are concerned.
Tell him/her you don't want them to get evicted.
Find out more about this person. What is their educational history? Are there any jobs they liked? What did they like about their former jobs? Could they make a career out of a hobby?
2006-09-03 13:41:52 · answer #8 · answered by Lorraine_us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are lazy and if you aren't careful they can bring you down with them. The only thing you can do is offer guidance. This person is an adult and they know how life is. If they won't listen to you then all you can do is pray for them.
2006-09-03 13:44:35 · answer #9 · answered by adkfoaiefnafedw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't! You can't! You will become very depressed and angry. You have to love yourself more than that.
If your friend is able to get a job, quits it and ends up homeless, they are making that choice.
It would be best for you to find another friend.
2006-09-03 13:41:21 · answer #10 · answered by Cookie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋