I'm a foreigner who lives in Malaysia, a country that sends people to jail for twenty years for homosexual behaviour.
I met someone over the internet a short while ago and we met up at his cousin's place and did our thing and he took a photo of me 'to remember me with'. After I left, he sms-ed me saying that he had videotaped our encounter and kept my condom and would go to the police to charge me with rape unless I paid him a specified amount. During our 'encounter', he was acting very helpless and making slightly protesting sounds but I thought that was his way of showing his pleasure. Apparently, he was setting me up from the get-go.
I'm a young adult (20) who was just experimenting with his sexuality and decided to stick to women. I live in an extremely homophobic society and have no plans to come out of the closet thus my life would be ruined and I would most likely be disowned if he went to police and the media picked up on it.
Do I have a case if he goes to the police?
2006-09-03 13:27:29 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Plus, he's a minor celebrity here (singer) and I just found that out after checking some website. I'm starting to think he'll go to the police anyway and just wants any form of publicity to stir his lacklustre career.
2006-09-03 13:39:01 · update #1
Swallow your embarrassment and go to your country's consular office IMMEDIATELY. Tell them everything. Perhaps they have prior knowledge of this scam or scammer; at the very least they will help you as best they can.
Incidentally, you have received a lot of IDIOTIC replies to your question. They are not being helpful. Sure, everybody has revenge fantasies, but in practical terms it does you no good.
In this case you have to make the first move - if you wait until he does something you will be perceived as someone who is guilty and who is trying, after the fact, to come up with some (invalid) response.
The reason I suggested the consular office is that
1) they are familiar with all the local laws
2) their purpose is to assist nationals like you when there are local problems
3) they may be aware of aspects of the situation that area beyond you - for example, it is entirely possible that that person has tried this scam already.
Again, DO NOT WAIT until you have to defend yourself.
2006-09-03 13:29:41 · answer #1 · answered by kerangoumar 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, you have a case! Don't let this pitiful excuse of a human being intimidate you!!! Unless you were "man"handling him or doing other things that could be misconstrued as rape, I wouldn't worry about it. Police and judges are (for the most part) pretty in tune with what is real and fake. I would let him know that you have contacted an attorney and that he can go right ahead with his threat of rape. This will either make him think twice, or he'll continue and make an azz out of himself. How sad that you have to "stay in the closet" about your sexuality. If you don't do something about this situation now, and the fact that you are hiding your true self, I'm afraid you'll be in for a long, miserable life!
Out of curiosity, how old was the other person? He could be just taking advantage of your naivety.
I'm neither gay or homophobic, but injustice infuriates me to no end! Now get out there and fight for yourself!!!
2006-09-03 20:39:48 · answer #2 · answered by CluelessOne 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is so awful! I don't actually have an answer for you, I'm just trying to provide some sympathy.
What is he blackmailing you for? Money?
Is there anyway you can get the tape and photo back from him? Because if he only had the condom then yes, it proves you had sex with him, but it doesn't prove whether it was rape or consensual. I understand you don't want this to come out, but from everything I've seen and heard you should never give in to blackmailers. They'll just keep coming back for more.
OR, better yet! Go see him again, and tape record him saying that he's going to blackmail you and use the tape, photo, and condom he kept against you.
2006-09-03 20:33:10 · answer #3 · answered by it's me! 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I hate to say this but I think it's time you moved away, far away, and quickly. There's no way to prove your innocence. Pack now. If you knew someone in the legal prodfession, I'd ask a legal question- see what he says. Don't mention it's you. Don't pay him any money, you'll need it to move. The video.... That was definitely a set up. And the DNA from the sperm. Only a weirdo would keep it. for a memento.You need local legal advice but I'd definitely be thinking about leaving. Good Luck. .
2006-09-05 05:18:59 · answer #4 · answered by reme_1 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are a foreigner. Go to your embasy and tell the o get you the hell out of there as quickly as possible. Even if he is just toying with you he is crazy. he probably won't do anything because he would be killed along with you but the guy is nuts and you would be better off getting away from him. Does he have other ways besides the internet to get into contact with you?
2006-09-04 01:02:59 · answer #5 · answered by Justme 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't negotiate with Terrorists. Don't pay him anything. You should be smart like him and start recording your sms's and phone calls or chat sessions (I HOPE YOU HAVE), they can all be used as evidence. and if you have evidence you have a case. Don't let on you are recording your correspondance it will only stop him from doing so then you will have nothing. Be discreet about it like he was. That way there is a possibility that any open fire can be avoided. He seems like an amateur scammer and is counting on your fear, he probably has no real intentions of pressing rape charges against you and hopes you'll just crack and give in. Pull yourself together, get as much evidence as you can (do not delete your sms's)/ they count as evidence too.
2006-09-03 20:30:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Oh man, that's a tough one. If it were all videotaped, then you are in hot water. The only option would be to give him the money to shut him up or leave the country for a different place if you can.
Otherwise, I am sorry I don't know what else to tell you.
2006-09-03 20:31:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Does he know where you live? If no, then just ignore him because he's in Malaysia too, if he goes to the police he'll get 20 years too. And if he was the one taking the photos then how would that show he was being raped? Wouldnt the raper take the photos of the one being raped?
2006-09-03 20:28:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Do they have any hit men where you live?? No that won't work then they could blackmail you.hmmmmm Yep, your gonna have to kill him. There are some plants when made into teas have a tendency to make the drinker of the tea expire. It's almost like magic.
2006-09-04 17:51:04 · answer #9 · answered by carmen d 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In Malaysia, you can hire someone to kill him fairly cheaply. I would just ignore him. He's bluffing. If he did go to the police you can say he seduced you with the purpose of blackmail. Secretly making the video proves his intentions.
2006-09-03 20:47:41 · answer #10 · answered by Cymalon 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋