and has been asking to get back together after being told numerous times that it will not happen. She is now interfering with my wife's job and keeps making up new email addresses to email us. How do I get her to leave us alone without being hateful? For further info read previous questions. Serious answers only please?
2006-09-03 13:26:49 · 21 answers · asked by starla 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she lives 2000 miles away. She is calling my wifes work trying to get her into trouble. I just want her to leave us alone but don't want to be mean.
2006-09-03 13:34:03 · update #1
i have now erased her emails. my wife is starla. we have deleted email after email account. no custody issues are involved.
2006-09-03 13:40:10 · update #2
my wife works for a national company that has a 1 800 number. My ex called over 100 times in 3 days. the police can not do anything across state lines. she is in cali and we are in oklahoma
2006-09-03 13:43:40 · update #3
Sure, serious. All you can do is tell this ex, that no communication with her is wanted nor expected. That she needs to get on with her life, have some class and decorum (good words without being insulting) and refrain from disturbing you. Then, from that point on, reply to NOTHING, repeat NOTHING. Ignoring someone's attempts to communicate will indeed sink in. The worst thing you can do is continue to ask her to leave you alone..... people like this regard that as encouragement --- after all, you ARE paying some attention to her, even if it is negative. Don't even bother to put a restraining order on her, and as you said, blocking the e-mail means that she just gets a new one. The second thing you can do, is change your own e-mail, phone numbers, etc, and give them out to only the people you wish, along with the business associates that you need to keep in contact with (banks, etc.) Helpful?
2006-09-03 13:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm a little confused as to who this is. Are you a gal or a guy? Your name sounds like a gal, but you say the ex is now interfering with your wife's job, so I'm not quite sure who I'm talking to.
Question: are there children involved? Does she have to know where you are because there is shared custody? You didn't refer to that, in your previous question and you do have a serious problem. Cybersex can be just as devastating as real sex. The only positive thing about it is no one gets pregnant, and you don't get STDs. And if you've got Norton, you won't even get a virus out of it. Sorry. Bad joke.
About all you can do is send her an e-mail signed by both of you, to the effect that you don't want to hear from her again, and if you do, her husband is going to hear about it.
Then get a new e-dress and don't give it to her.
Sometimes you have to be hateful or hurtful to protect yourself, and this sounds like one of those times. If the two of you want to make a clean break with her, you certainly can.
There is also recourse to law, as this sort of thing qualifies as harassment, but the guy had truly better have put an end to the relationship because if you press a harassment charge and the e-mail records show that he's continued to correspond with her, you won't have a leg to stand on.
PS - why hasn't he erased her old emails?
2006-09-03 20:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Actually you can get the police involved by calling the police where she is. I have been thorugh this persoanlly and infact am still enduring it. All you do is call the police stiaon for the area where she lives and then you can get a restraining order bt that will prove fruit less becuase she is not coming near you physically but you can have her charged with harrasement and have the work place document the number of calls as well. I say that because after so many it turns from harrassment to stalking. Good luck.
2006-09-03 21:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all the harrassment, I have to ask why are you not wanting to be mean to this women? She obviously is not getting the point. I'd lay down the law immediately before you find her boiling bunnies in your kitchen. The lady is obviously nuts and isn't too keen on picking up the hints. Mark her email as spam and have your wife go to her human resource director at work to inform her of what is going on so that she is not penalized. They can always tell this women you wife was fired when she calls to end the phone calls, or block her number from even coming in. Then, change your email address and be careful that she does not get it.
Good luck with this one!
2006-09-03 21:19:17 · answer #4 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read your previous question and this affair is based on just email and telephone...am I correct? If that's the case and this woman lives several thousand miles from u and your spouse, u might want to consider changing your email address or changing your phone number. If this is not an option, u have to tell her how it is. U can't totally avoid being mean or hateful in this situation. U need to let her know that u and your spouse have decided to work on your marriage and she needs to leave u two alone for good. If this approach does not work and she keeps pursuing your spouse, this is considered harassment and u need to consider either rellocating your wife's job or let her boss in on it so that the company can assist your wife on what to do about these harrassment calls at her job.
2006-09-03 20:39:32 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that you are feeling like things are starting to get weird and that you have tried to be nice and if she continues this behavior you will have to alienate her completely. Explain that you have moved on with your life and have never been happier and never under any circumstances would want to be back together. Tell her sternly and that you would like to be friends but it is that are nothing. Take it or leave it, but quit acting like a stalker, it is getting really weird.
You may not want to be mean, however you may want to consider the safety of your wife and marriage. I would stop this x immediately, sometimes you have to be a little cruel to be kind.
2006-09-03 20:32:40 · answer #6 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.. i don't think a restraining order helps unless there is a threat of violence or least where I'm from states that..tell her husband ,,you have enough evidence..the whole deal seems odd..he got busted now he runs to you,, get rid of the damn computer..change phone number,,have others answer phone at work,have boss say your wife is no longer available..oh BTW i wouldn't trust the man(husband)
2006-09-03 21:29:04 · answer #7 · answered by heartzz_ablaze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on, if your serious about wanting to cut her out of your life, do it. "Don't want to be hateful???"...she's being hateful to you and your wife. Unless she was sent the wrong message initially by you and that's why you don't want to hurt her. Come clean with what you really want and stop vascillating...tell her that all her emails and phone calls are being recorded, you have police records of the stalking and you will press charges.
2006-09-03 21:04:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you just have to be hateful to make the person understand. Try changing your email adress and have your wife explain to her employers the situation and if it continues get a restraining order.
2006-09-03 20:35:19 · answer #9 · answered by Asia 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My friend, the communist use to say that if you have a bad tree in your yard and you wish to get rid of it, then plug it up from the root. That is the only way you will be sure it will not return.
If you tell her no and she will not stop terrorizing you, simply report her to the police. That will cool her.
Do not answer her calls once you recognized that it is her voice.
Okay here is how I dealt with one:
She called and sent telephone messages amounting to about a dozen but I did not respond to any of thyme once I realized it was her. It took about one year but she finally got the message
2006-09-03 20:41:06 · answer #10 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋