my wife and i have been married 3 years and have two children a 2 year old and a 16 month old. we got together when we were 16 and are now 21. we spent most of our first year of living together on meth and pot got pregnant,clean and married in that order. and now i just feel as if nothingis how it should be. she works in a nursing home and i stay at home with the kids and we just dont really get along anymore.it feels more like we stay together because we are used to each other rather than love. i want to go back to school and do something with my life now and she doesnt want me to go back to school because we were both unfaithful when we first got together. what should i do?
2006-09-03 12:08:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is still love in your marriage or you wouldn't asking this question. Ask your wife to go to marriage counseling. Local churches offer parent night where the church staff run bible study for the kids and the parents get 2 hours to go out together. This gives you two a chance to rediscover why you fell in Love. Taking care of children tends to make parents forget about each other with so much to do for the kids. Also go back to school and better your family quality. It does your wife no good to be the only one working taking on all the financial stress and obligation. 2 parents + 2 chilren = 2 jobs.
2006-09-03 12:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by tdm1175 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get through to her that you are the man of the house. You can listen to her opinions and suggestions but you ultimately make the decisions. If you feel school is going to better you as a husband and a father then that's what you have to do. If she is worried about you cheating because you are going to school, just let her know if you wanted to cheat you could, no one could stop you anyway. You are going to school to better your lives and not pick up on women. If you choose school, there are lots of help you can get so she can still work. There are child care programs for low income families, these resources are there to help people like you so don't feel bad for taking advantage of them.
Glad to hear y'all kicked the drugs, very hard. My ex and I were the same, we couldn't get clean together , tried for 7 years. We divorced and he was killed by a drug dealer 2 months ago. So stay away and keep moving forward,I'm sure if you can conquer drugs you can conquer anything. Good luck.
2006-09-03 13:07:51 · answer #2 · answered by e_deckwa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you both get on the same page regarding your goals and aspirations, this relationship is going to be an unhappy one. Both of you are young, and now is the time to work on building the future for you and your kids - including going to school, pursuing their career, etc. You met and married young, and seems like you might have jumped into this relationship without a clear goal in mind. I don't know what else you can do besides either trying to work things out with your spouse and synchronizing your goals - or parting your ways and pursuing the things you deem important. You already know that the currrent situation you're in isn't gonna work long-term.
2006-09-03 12:14:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to go back to school then you should nothing is more important than your education. You have to figure out a way to reassure her that you wont be ufaithful to her while you are there all though that will be hard to do because trust is lacking there. If your guys marriage just feels like an arrangement there is somethhing lacking there and if you want to make it work then you need to figure out what is and fix it otherwise you wont have a marriage much longer.
2006-09-03 12:15:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's easier said than done but if someone truly loved u they would support your growth as an individual. Go back to school and better yourself. If she can't deal with this then she's the one with the trust issues and u need to decide from there where this marriage is going because if your partner is not supporting your personal growth, then she's all for supporting your decay.
2006-09-03 12:18:38 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
provide up it. human beings could wreck down, circumstances could substitute, yet somethings will continuously stay the comparable. Or that would point out that authentic eternal love does not exist and that theory is basically too depressing for me to handle on the instant.
2016-12-18 04:16:42 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both of you need some counseling. Sounds like both of you have a lot of issues that need some working out. Sounds like there's not a lot of trust? I wonder why.
2006-09-03 12:13:53 · answer #7 · answered by nicknacpattymac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go back to school so you can make a life for you and your family. pray about your marriage and learn how to love again
2006-09-03 12:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by vision g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont waste time. go back to school. tell her the truth. this is what will be best for you, your wife and most importantly your children.
2006-09-03 12:11:11 · answer #9 · answered by lowIQ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to a marriage counselor, or else just throw in the towel.
2006-09-03 12:12:07 · answer #10 · answered by tazzz6413 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋