2006-09-03 10:49:19 · 22 answers · asked by waverunner 500 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
they been in the middle of it since the beginning. my husband is being controlled by them and when it comes to fighting them he gets scarred. i got a gut full of it and left our home and now i am trying to get him out and move to where i am. they hate me and my family. the whole time we wanted to be alone at home we couldn't be. the have threatened me and him soooo many times. they have abused us both for being married. now its like they r brain washing him to keep away from me. we r not legally seperated but we r seperated cause of them. its been so hard for me to cope with this.
2006-09-03 11:02:17 · update #1
my husband is 26 and i am 24
2006-09-03 11:06:07 · update #2
he has ADD and ADHD
he has problems with listening.
2006-09-03 11:07:43 · update #3
they think i control him but i don't...i don't drink at all.
2006-09-03 11:33:59 · update #4
Unless they are also paying your bills, etc... then you need to start living your own lives... Perhaps you could move?
Stop answering every phone call?
Stop doing what they suggest every time?
How old are you, anyway?
2006-09-03 10:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by applebetty34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are doing this because of his need for attention all through your husbands ADD problem. The thing to do is find out what it is that they don't like about you. Do you do things that cause his problems to be worse. Are you an alcoholic are do things such as like to drink and party? He may need to stay on meds for his problem. This can cause a lot of problems in his behavior and serious life consequences. They may be concerned for his safety. If this is what it is I fully understand how his parents feel. Still they have no right to interfere in your marriage. Maybe you should try to convience them that you will be a good wife. Be nice to his parents invite them over for supper sometimes and it should all work out if everybody will do their part. I know a little about this because i also have a son with ADHD and he gets overly excited when he drinks. He is a very nice person until he starts drinking. When he drinks he gets in trouble and he does things before he thinks things thru. I always tried to keep my mouth shut when he was married.
2006-09-03 18:26:47 · answer #2 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do they have against u personally? If your husband has trouble listening because of his disorder,then perhaps the people u should be speaking with are his parents. Without knowing u or why they are so angry with u, it's hard to give advice but the bottom line is, they need to get out of your lives because the fact is, u didn't marry them, u married your husband. U don't have to like them but I'm sure u can try to have a decent conversation with them to kindly tell them to butt out of u and your husband's lives.
2006-09-03 18:19:13 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Details please. Are you living with your in-laws? If you are I suggest you consider moving out. It's hard to live by other people rules and if there paying most of the expenses then you don't have much to say in the matter. If your not living with them, then maybe consider having a serious talk with your spouse and have him talk to them and tell them how both
you feel, as along as it's a mutual thing between you and your hubby. Consider some family counseling too. Good luck!
2006-09-03 18:31:53 · answer #4 · answered by nicknacpattymac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through what you are going through. Exactly. I was very supportive of my husband and finally after about 3 years plus I convinced him to move away. We used to live next door now we are about 1.5 hours away. It took allot of work and I finally couldn't get mad at him because that is the way that things had already been. Support Support Support. His family hates me especially his dad. They are really very strange people. We have moved away and my husband is free and it is wonderful he is so happy. He actually has very little to do with them now. If he does it is on his terms not theirs. He has adopted my family as his own. My family isn't perfect but we are close and help each other and not to gain something by it. He is close to them as he should of been with his own parents. OMG girl I could write a book on all the things that they did to try to get rid of me and the demented things that had done and said to him. We are about to move out of state about 16 hours away from them. All I can tell you is to be strong. If you truly love this man and he is good to you then fight for your lives together. He was beaten and abused as a child and talking back or standing up for yourself was never ever tolerated.
My husband has told me over and over that I saved him. I know that they hate me because if we see them they say nothing to me. I really don't care because how they treated him was wrong and I loved him and knew that he was a good person despite how he had always been treated by them.
I have stood up to them myself on more than one occasion but in the begining that would just make things worse. They would just give him more crap about having a wife that was outspoken.
We even got married at the court house and he didn't want them there so we called them later and told them. He knew they would throw a fit. We will be married 7 years in December.
We are so happy now and he has grow as a person plus he is a musician (piano and bass) plus a singer and he has just blossomed compared to how he used to be because he is finally free. He is so much more creative than ever before. He still loves his parents but finally he won't tolerate them pushing him or myslef around not under any circumstance. His mom is better to me now but his father hardly speaks to me.
I read what you wrote and I had to respond because it hit home in my heart.
I wish you the best of luck and just know that you are not alone.
2006-09-03 18:56:31 · answer #5 · answered by aleynam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key is your husband as you probably know. If he doesn't see the problem it's going to be a looooooooonnnnnnnnnnnng hard road. Sit him down and tell him very clearly of your concerns and let him know that it's not an OK situation. In other words, the problem's solution begins with you requiring him (and his family) to honor his committment to you.
2006-09-03 17:58:03 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your there little baby and they only want the best for there little baby. Just have a chat with them and tell them your going to be just fine your a adult now and know right from wrong.
Do it in a good way and they will understand and let go I'm sure they really don't realize what there doing to your relationship.
Good luck It will work out.
2006-09-03 18:01:20 · answer #7 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either tell hubby to relieve the tension you need to move or get out of the marriage as he will probably always listen to what is told to him any ways! Then you get the short end of the stick regardless, believe me I have been down that road and the marriage lasted five months!
2006-09-03 17:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by momof8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why it's a good idea to get to know his family before you tie the knot. Tell your husband that you are both adults and that advice would be fine,but you feel your being given orders.Tell him you want him to talk to them.If that does'nt help move.
2006-09-03 18:01:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
say i am grown up and know who i am explain it could lead to problems and you mean it take the shoe of your foot and hit the table and wake old folks tell them to smell the coffee bless you nobody got right to control anybody or move out god bless you with love
2006-09-03 17:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by george p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋