God v World peace
Millions of years ago,
When the world had just begun,
Man was established from the earth,
Two bullets from God's gun
They were drowned in a giant flood,
They fought, they swore, they robbed.
But the reason that god drowned them,
Was that they weren't doing they're job
So God started the world again
Destroying all the light.
With drugs, with rave, with buisness,
and they doubled every night.
As human beings carry on,
World peace is sure to fold.
For each and every human life,
is yet another goal.
2006-09-03 10:45:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
It's alright. Slightly depressing.
2006-09-03 10:48:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I thought this was really good. I especially like the creation of man as "Two bullets from God's gun." If I were to try to find anything to criticize - and I would have to try - I would say that, perhaps, the piece is a little too simplistic. The other side of that is the unspoken notion the poem gives that life and living are simple things, complicated only by man's zeal to become godlike. I might also take issue with the ending. It seems weak when compared to the strength of the rest of the poem, but it does its job. Overall, I like this piece very much. Check your spelling and your punctuation. You have a typo and some errant commas. Thank you for sharing.
2006-09-07 09:41:50 · answer #2 · answered by indian_ernie42 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the first 2 verses, but not the second 2.
2006-09-03 17:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by 2hot2handle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's saying God is bad, but maybe I read it wrong? I'm hoping that's not what it says, but otherwise, the poem has a unique touch to it.
2006-09-03 17:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by *~*Carnival*~*Ride*~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow-neat perspective.
2006-09-03 17:51:17 · answer #5 · answered by catzrme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very deep but what are u actually trying to say? from one poet to another
2006-09-03 17:49:59 · answer #6 · answered by originaljolo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it, but you need to make sure the first letter in God is capitalized.....nice.
2006-09-03 17:48:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no offense but i didn't like it sorry:(
2006-09-03 17:50:00 · answer #8 · answered by fote 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*yawn*
2006-09-03 17:53:17 · answer #9 · answered by keepsondancing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it!!!!!
2006-09-03 17:49:34 · answer #10 · answered by Pie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋