I love him. HE DOESN'T.No sex for 6years. We don't discuss family issues. We operate independently.We live in the same house. Married 4 thirteen years.
2006-09-03 10:44:43 · 42 answers · asked by senzia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Divorced.. looks like you've been seperated for 2 years & 5 years cos no sex etc.. so if you file for divorce now it should be absolute pronto!
2006-09-03 11:43:05 · answer #1 · answered by scorpion queen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think either of you are happy. What about how you feel? Your husband must feel in a prison. I wouldn't make the children an issue. I would get out of this situaution. As a matter of fact your children will be learning bad habits from both of you. They will end up staying with the wrong people just like the both of you. This is just my opinion. If you want to tuff it out and live a miserable life go ahead. You are also in a prison as long as the both of you are not having sex. Sex is not everything but it can be important in a relationship. If you haven't been having sex for 6 years then you really haven't been married but 7.
2006-09-03 11:13:48 · answer #2 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am broadly in a comparable situation.
I call it "something that needs to be dealt with". First, understand why we ended up in a situation like this. Second see what can be sorted. Third, act, whichever direction that takes us.
It takes a lot to move on (I mean divorce etc). There can be other links than lovers-love, there are kids involved etc. So, I understand people who have blunt statements such as "drop him this minute", but life does not always go like this.
Anyway, good luck to you and I trust you will find the best way forward. In the long run, your situation will not make you happy, so you need to face this and take action, whatever it is, before it depresses you too much...
2006-09-06 10:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by Claire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I call your relationship "roommates." Sorry to hear, it doesn't sound like any type of a real marriage. Do yourself a favor and either get marriage counseling or start divorce proceedings and take care of yourself and the kids. I don't know why you say he can't leave. Maybe he says that because he's got it just the way he wants it. A wife to take care of the house and his children while he cats around. You don't really think he isn't having sex elsewhere do you? Wake up before your life is over hon.
2006-09-03 11:12:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call where you live Sad City. 6 years, really? You know don't you that he is getting it elsewhere? If he is paying all the bills for the house and kids, why not stay sad? If not, get a divorce lawyer quick. This is breaking my heart. You must feel REALLY bad and hurting. If you can operate independently you can operate without him around, 4 sure. Is it worth your self-esteem to stay there? You can and will love again once he is out of the picture. It happens everyday.
2006-09-03 10:50:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I call it a big fat rut of convenience. How on earth did you get yourself into this hole? You need to have a serious talk with yourself. What do you want out of life? Do you want to stay in this routine for the rest of your life, or do you want to actually do something about it? You are wasting your life here, each day is passing you by and nothing is changing. You are going to look back on the years you have already wasted and think to yourself "why did i stay in that rut for so long?"
You have one life chick, and you shouldn't be letting it pass you by this way. Do you really love him, or do you think that loving him is just part of the routine you have made for yourself?
If you are happy with where you are now, then that is fine, as long as you are happy, it doesn't matter what the relationship is called. But if you feel the need to move on, then it is time to start digging yourself out of this rut.
2006-09-07 01:49:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called a marriage of convience. No love, No sex, No communication no nothing been there done that get out while you can if you can't you should start putting your life if order. Spiritually, Financially so you can move on with out him and you also have to take your kids into the equation. Are they old enough to understand why you would do this? And how your decision will effect them.
2006-09-03 10:55:26 · answer #7 · answered by Vanessa P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the two of you even get married in the first place? It sounds like a marriage of and for convience. Why doesn't he just divorce you. Or you divorce him. I know you love him but you can'
t go on living with someone who doesn't love you. It's not healthy for you or your children. Have you asked him why he doesn't divorce you? You didn't give enough details for us here to provide a good answer for you. We need to know why he cannot leave and if you two ever loved each other or if it's always beemn a one-sided affair.
2006-09-03 11:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am right up there with you. My girlfriend says she loves me but won`t do a thing to prove that she does, we have 2 children and are so mixed in together that if one left the other everything would collapse around us, we live as a couple but I work nights and she works during the day. Been together 10 years.
2006-09-03 10:54:43 · answer #9 · answered by dnlrawson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least your husband is there for your kids. But can you cope with this sort of relationship? Is the stability worth the lack of an intimate relationship. As long as the children are happy and not affected by your relationship, arguing or anything like that, then I shouldn't worry.
2006-09-03 10:51:43 · answer #10 · answered by crissylizb06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 13 years and 3 kids lot of things change.If you think that your husband should treat you as if you are still 16,it is not possible.Sit down with him and talk about it.May be he s having some problems and he needs you more than any time before.Good Luck.
2006-09-03 11:11:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋