I have 2 beautiful children, work full time and husband is swallowed up with his work. We don't go to bed together (ever) as he works until late at night and I feel like a single mom when I come home after work. I should say that he stays home and watches the kids during the day as well.
Anyway, I amstill young (30) and don't feel married anymore. We admittedly got married too fast and I am so bored with him. He s a good guy but I look at him and feel nothing anymore. This whole situation make me feel bad about myself and as a result,I eat myself to sleep everynight which turns into a vicious cycle or low self esteem.
Anyone in my situation? any helpful thoughts?
2006-09-03 09:55:36 · 18 answers · asked by ellasmom2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's so depressing. I,.myself am so worried about marrying young because of that. Either you have to move on, or set aside some time alone with just you and yer hubby so you can get the sparkle back.
2006-09-03 09:58:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must act now before you end in divorce or one of you has an affair. Marriage is built on communication and you have none because of different schedules.
Remember when you were dating. I am guessing you would spend long periods on the phone or in person simply sharing who you are and where you want to be in the future.
I have been married almost 8 years and we had some rough times just a few months ago. I was a good husband and father. However, I simply quit dating my wife. I took her for granted and the result almost ended in her having an affair. Fortunately, for me I found out before it was too late.
I would start by planning a date night or maybe even a weekend alone. Share with your husband how you feel. Like me, he probably thinks everything is o.k.
I have found that women and men have completely different emotional needs. Please visit www.marriagebuilders.com. There is an emotional needs questionnaire that you should look at. Fill it out separately and sit down together and discuss the answers. I know this would help.
Also, please visit www.familylife.com There are some great resources for marriages. I would highly suggest you attend a weekend to remember conference. Just do a search and see if there is one in your area.
God bless and remember that marriage is about communication, communication, communication!!!!!!
2006-09-03 11:04:01 · answer #2 · answered by jbuilder7916 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know I went through the same thing. I been married for thirteen years and about three years ago, I started to feel neglected by my husband. He owns his own business and tends to work a lot. He is a good man and I love him with all my heart. He loves me just as much. We have a good relationship when we are together but I was lonely at the same time. We have no children, which is good in this situation, but I called him at work one day on the verge of leaving and told him that I wanted to talk as soon as he got home. I had been telling him for a long time how lonely I was and how I felt he didnt love me anymore and all he said was baby you know I love you but I have to work. I would let it go, then one day boom, i was tired. He came in and I told him that if he loved his job more then I had to go. I told him that I was no longer going to live this this lifestyle and that I wasnt playing. I told him everything about how I felt and all he could do was look at me with this serious but sad look on his face. From that day he has been a different man, and I love him more now than I did thirteen years ago. In fact, I think we spend too much time now. Sit him down , spill your guts, show him that you mean what you are saying. If he shows no concern about your marriage, then do what you have to for you and your children. Good luck and be strong sweetheart, it will all work out.
2006-09-03 10:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by latasha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope these young kids having sex read your question.It doesn't sound fun anymore does it?Get some counnceling if not togther for yourself. Binge eating is not healthy and you'll really start putting on weight that will be too hard to take off. If you call a crisis line they have a list of refeerals of where you can get counciling on a sliding scale. You are worth it to take care of yourself. Remember you can't change someone else's behavior, but you can change your own.You may want to arrange for a babysitter and schedual a night alone with your husband. Good luck.
2006-09-03 10:18:44 · answer #4 · answered by nancy e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 10 years you should pat yourself on the back no adays people are lucky to last 2 years..People often start taking each other for granted and they just take it for granted that the other peson will always be there..doing the same ole same ole..I think that you should consider some counseling,and maybe just a get away together and try to re kindle that once firey marriage..because he must be doing something right to get you to stick around for 10 years..But you know in your heart if it's too late..and sometimes it is...But if you can imangine your life without him,and it doesn't bother you it's too late..But if you couldn't then It's worth trying to save it.Just talk to him,as a friend,and as a wife..let him know your feelings..and see where he stands in this..he may feel the same way..just talk to him..
2006-09-03 10:02:22 · answer #5 · answered by crazyinlove 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I had a nickel for everytime a woman said she was married and not in love or bored or disconnected.....I'd be a millionaire!!
What do you think is gonna happen if you divorce and remarry? Will you be bored and disconnected after 10 yrs with your second husband?
What have you done to make things better?
Grass isn't always greener on the other side.
2006-09-03 10:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by Tony 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there honey . If you think there is a chance for you guys tell him what you're feeling and see if he will make time to talk . I didn't hear any hints of abuse, or anything just a longing for more . I hope he is not cheating on you . I hate to bring that up but a lot of people do stray when there is no closeness with their mate . What ever you are going to do ,do it now before you waste anymore of your lives .
2006-09-03 10:08:46 · answer #7 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting married young is a big challenge especially now with kids. first consider how seperating would affect your children. if you both agree to divorce then it may be best to avoid future problems like cheating, its all in how yall handle it, even taking a less demanding job or a vacation for just the 2 of you, try to reconnect with eachother its worth a try,its hard to find a good father or husband these days,and a good mother and wife!
2006-09-03 10:01:32 · answer #8 · answered by butterflygyrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had similar feelings in my marriage and worked through it. You have to talk to him about this. It helps to make some friends together somehow..ours was through church but you might find some on a bowling league or dance club or something...whatever your lifestyle is. It helps because you then have friends that enjoy the samethings and begin to enjoy your spouse again. That brings out more to talk about etc.
Please remember how much work divorce and dating is as well...put some of that energy into your marriage first. I wish you well and know that there are many people in the same boat so hold on!!
2006-09-03 10:08:08 · answer #9 · answered by Mona 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just think about how much you hated your siblings at one point in your life... You get past it.
Everyone goes through some sort of trial in their relationships at some point in life Don't get discouraged. Talk to your husband and try to get more quality time together. Get a hobby, BTW, eating is not a hobby.
If that doesn't help, go to counseling.
2006-09-03 16:18:20 · answer #10 · answered by YourAnswer... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋