Happy, long-lasting, marriages? Is it possible?

Question

I come from a divorced home (parents divorced when I was just two years old). Neither parent of mine has been able to hold a relationship for very long, and similarly their parents (my grandparents) were either divorced or married several times. I don't know anyone or anyones' parents who have a long-lasting and successful marriage. I've had a very happy relationship for the last year and a half. I'm worried that because I grew up in a home that couldn't even keep itself together I wont be able to have a happy marriage someday. I feel like they don't even exist anymore! Has anyone out there proven this wrong?

Answer 1

candace happy marriages exist. but in order to have one you have to start off right . you need to carfully examine who you are looking at. in this day and age does your mate's word mean anything, by that i mean does he say things and not back them up can you say with out a doubt that when he uses the words " promise" do he really mean it or is it a care free exprestion to a person's words are one of the three biggest downfalls in a marriage. not whether you are so alike in every thing not whether the sex is good or not not whether you think he is the cutest or all the girls want him. its whether you can honestly trust his words are truthfull and when he says i do that he does for life becuase a vow before god and family should be the most sacred the other two is can you afford to live happily (money is the number one killer of marriages in this country) and mots people like tothink love transcends money but those are the ones that fool them selves and eventually are among the 53% percent of divorces each year. you two dont have to be rich but merely finacially savy enough to make a life and have a decent rainey day fund. and the second most comon reason for divorce is after the newness is over and life begans people forget how to talk, life has a way of dumbing down the comunications between spouses and should be somthing you seek counseling for before things get bad becuase once they are bad its very hard to recover. either a couple can obtain all three of these or one or the other dies inside to make the marriage last. or a divorce happens. so if you want to be happy in love you need to be smart and find mr right not mr wishes he was right. good luck

Answer 2

Okay, the reason marriages end in so many divorces is that they didn't try to really work on their relationship in the first marriage. Let me just put it this way. If it didn't work the first time around then why the he** do you think it will work with someone different. If you don't correct the first problem then history will repeat itself time and time again. That is what we all call baggage. Divorce is made to easy these days. If you don't like who you are with then just go divorce them.. that is the mentality of society. But the truth is Marriage is sacred, only if you both believe in its sanctity. And try not to let outside influences run your marriage. I promise it will work if you and your future partner approach marriage as a long lasting vow. And realize that one or both of you will not want to be married to the other person on some days. But not to let those feelings dictate what is real.

Answer 3

Yes, there are marriages like that out there. My parents have been married for 20 plus yrs and they have never strayed from each other and to this day they are still happily married. I know u come from a divorced family and this could have had a huge influence on your outlook about marriages in general but understand that u can learn from their mistakes and have a happy, long lasting marriage yourself.

Answer 4

Yes it can work. But, before you get married, talk about what you both expect. Everything. Even how you would handle situations. Sometimes counseling is needed, would both of you do it? People think it is to easy to just walk away. You have to always be best friends. Never allow a member of the opposite sex to become a friend better than your spouse. A friend once told me when he got married his grandfather who was married for 75 years wrote him a letter on his wedding day. It said how he should work for the rest of their life to stay committed to each other. It would not be easy and you would never have to stop working at it. He said over the years you will fall in and out of love many times. But you always had to work on falling in love again...over and over! But in the long run it would be well worth it. Marriage is hard work. Just make sure you both are in agreement to work hard. I once moved out because we needed counseling. He wasn't going to do it. I left, he knew I meant business, it was the best thing we ever did. I was only gone for 1 week. If you both come from dysfunctional families you may not know how to have a normal relationship. Don't be afraid to ask someone what you can do to make sure yours will work. (a therapist) NOTE: My therapist told me when I walked into his office with the issues we had, he really felt we would never make it. He said 18 months later, here you are and doing so well. I am very proud.

Answer 5

Most marriages do not last that long now a days. What you need to know that if the marriage is not abusive in any way and that the problems you have are only little problems then they can all be solved.

Answer 6

I think alot of people just give up too easily in today's marriages. I spoke with a couple today that have been married 42 years. It was nice talking with them and hearing their points of view.

Answer 7

Marriage works when the wife does her biblical duties like submitting to and obeying the husband. At least that's what the holy rollers who asked me for money said.

Answer 8

my parents have been married since 65. I've been married since 96.

it's possible even coming from broken home - my hubby's parents are divorced (his dad 3 times)

Answer 9

With my husband 24 years, married 17 years and love him to pieces. You'll get back what you put into your relationship. We'll talk in 10 years!

Answer 10

Yes it's possible. The best advice I ever heard was:

"Instead of looking for Mr. Right, concentrate on becoming Ms. Right." (works in reverse too)

I don't remember who said it though, but it has always stuck with me.