wheres the romance gone (been 2gether 8 years) we love each other but he doesnt RELATE it too much nowadays?
2006-09-03 08:54:16 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
prob routine of real life kicking in etc,bills,house.bet he still loves you,the pair of you need to spend real time together,cuddle,hugs.ask what attracted you to each other in the firstplace.best of luck
2006-09-03 08:57:52 · answer #1 · answered by sam tyler 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in your husbands shoes just a few months ago. I will be married 8 years this December. I have always been a good husband, hard worker, good father, etc...
However, I simply quit dating my wife and she almost had an affair. Simply stated, I was not fulfilling her emotional needs. I know now that women need to know they are very special. If the husband does not fulfill that need, then someone else may step in and do it for him.
I would suggest you visit www.marriagebuilders.com There is an emotional needs questionnaire that you can fill out separately and get together and discuss the answers.
Also, I would suggest you check out www.familylife.com. See if there is a weekend to remember conference in your area.
If you don't do either of the above, please sit down and tell your husband how you feel. Like me, he probably thinks everything is o.k. I now know that marriage is built or destroyed on how a couple communicates.
Finally, never stop dating each other. You must schedule regular date nights.
Good luck and God Bless!!!!!
2006-09-03 18:12:38 · answer #2 · answered by jbuilder7916 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult question in that there isn't more on your relationship period. What is his history of romance with you and other women? Has he tried to be romantic with you (but not to your standards of what romantic is) to only get shot down or berated? What do you want? Have you just sat down with him at a one-on-one dinner and told him? Will you give him a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow? I think one thing to definitely do is make suggestions and any efforts he makes should be richly rewarded. Honesty must also be acknowledged here in that being together for 8 years unfortunately causes familiarity. Familiarity breeds contempt, regrettably. He's comfortable with you, he's used to you. He's won you, he doesn't need to romance you anymore...right? :) I would voice these concerns respectfully. Allow him the chance to become your romantic man again. If he still fails to get the picture, it may be time to stay at a friends or parents house for a few days and see if he sees the light. You don't know what you have until it is gone.... Hopefully he will have time then to consider how bad he loves, wants, and needs you and is willing to do what ever to swoon you once again. I hope this all works out without having to go to any extremes. Have you tried to take over? I mean, have you tried to come out of no where with a totally erotic plan? Yeah, I agree, he needs to contribute to your relationship, but you (being the woman) have far more power over him and his desires than vice versa. Try arranging a night where he comes home to an empty house except for his fixed up, lingerie wearing wife who's ready to please him in everyway while forcing him to please you in every way. I think you may find that you won't have to force him into anything. If that doesn't ignite his romantic flame, then some of my other suggestions need to be considered. Both of you must remember that you are still a couple and that one-on-one time, whether its just a dinner date or renting a hotel room with jacuzzi, is extremely important for fanning that ever important flame between you two. Too often we fall into the rut of our careers, parenting....heck, life. We need to stop and smell the roses. Good luck!
2006-09-03 16:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by adtmatt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off was he ever romantic in your marriage?
Secondly, why don't you put some energy into making a romantic dinner, and some quite time together. Or if your finances allow it take him to the beach or a nice hotel, buy a sexy night, and I don't need to go any further. LOL
Anyways, it is worth a shot. If nothing else you will have a good time.
Good Luck honey.
2006-09-03 16:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men just haven't got a romantic bone in their body, you could try to bring some romance back into the relationship., something nice, bring some spice back into your life. give it a try good luck
2006-09-03 16:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is one place called Revole (?) It is French for reawakening. It is a workshop that helps couples work through problems. I read about it on Dear Abby.
Also, talk to your minister or marriage counselor. Maybe they can help you work through your difficulties.
Try to remember your common interests and plan a day around them. Good luck.
2006-09-03 16:05:39 · answer #6 · answered by Froggbitz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea...i guess you need to tell him exactly how you feel & get some excitement back into your marriage....what about a really romantic weekend away some where like paris...? If he really loves you, then you will notice his extra effort after you tell him.
Hope you get it worked out.
Thanks
Ray
2006-09-03 16:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by Irish... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant help you out much there but me and my partner have been together for 4yrs and i cant honestly think of one romantic thing he has ever done.
Hmmmmm
2006-09-03 15:57:10 · answer #8 · answered by Amy A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Work on it, have you heard the saying it takes two.......
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
Bring the spark back into your live make the first move. good luck.
2006-09-04 16:19:41 · answer #9 · answered by Caro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he ever romantic?
I had romance once (allegeldly) he bought me a plug!!
2006-09-03 15:55:51 · answer #10 · answered by mise 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋