I have been with my partner for 11 years and we have 2 children we have been through so much bull crap but we have also had our share of happiness. Lately things just isn't the same. Our son was born in march and asked me not to go back to work to take care of him. So I did. Things just seem to be different as if he is always angry and short with me over the littlest things this time our daughter had company and he was gone to little leauge football as he always does on sat's and he was overly pissed b/c the hot sauce was gone. Talking to his friend who come home with all this bull crap behind my back( b/c I'd left to take the kids home) I had forgot something and he was just dogging the hell out of me. But his friends are over all the time. And there was a point in time when I was the one bringing home the money. I have tried talking with him but to me he says everything is fine and everyone else its different. I have been looking for a job so that me & my children can leave.
2006-09-03 08:39:02 · 9 answers · asked by sweetcincylove 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And then he will apologize and make it seem as if everything is okay and says all these things to me as if I am the best thing that has happened to him and he doesn't know what he will do without me, but yet I never know when I will get those uncomfortable stares and him speaking out turn behind my back. I have been with him so long he is the only thing I know, but I do know I don't like the way I am feeling and I do know that I don't want my daughter to grow up feeling as if this is how a man is supposed to treat her or my son thinking this is what you do to your woman. He is a good father to them and wonderful-spirited person to everyone outside our home. But me it just seems as if at times he can't stand me...
2006-09-03 08:50:56 · update #1
I wouldn't leave just yet, I would tell him that you are in a situation that needs his complete attention. With that said, tell him that things will have to change around here and he is one of them. If he begins to say everything is OK, then cut him off and tell him that you are not finished yet. Tell him, I am your wife and a human being, I am not a kid and I am not your mother, I am your lifes partner and I demand to have some respect and I hear just fine, so all the yelling will have to stop. If you run out of hot sauce then take yourself up to the store and get some. There is plenty to do around this house and your work day may end when you come home but mine is all day and I would like some help, Tell him if him having a job is to much stress then you can go get one and he can cut back on some of his hours if that will help. If something is eating at him then come to me and talk about it and as far as your friends coming over all the time it needs to be a little less, try going over to their house sometime for your get togethers. If he totally against talking to you about this then see a lawyer. Good luck.
2006-09-03 08:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you got the right idea.Leave is his sorry miserable butt and dont look back.He wil lsoon realize you may have been the best thing in his life and want you back or he will not care.Either way you will be a better person, You will have shown you can take care of your family and yourself without him and you will not tolerate his crap either.He needs to grow up and deal with you and the issues other then avoid the mand whine like a spoiled brat behind your back.
Let him read this and tell him to GROW UP and be a man not a boy who wants his cake and eat it too.
BTW if you do leave him - make sure ot haul his bacon into court for child support and do not use the children in any way to FORCE him into something ok.Allow them access to the man and FORCE him to be DADDY by using the legal system ok .
2006-09-03 08:46:14 · answer #2 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes marriages just don't work out. You are right to be concerned that your kids will start thinking this is the way marriages should be. They learn from example. It just doesn't sound like this is a healthy relationship for anyone involved - you, your kids, or your husband. It is never too late to start over. Find a job and start standing up for yourself. If things don't improve after you go back to work and recover some of your self-esteem - I would call it quits. You both deserve to be happier in life than what you are describing here.
2006-09-03 09:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Have u considered that the addition of another child might be stressing him out too? I've seen this with my own friends. Their husbands would feel jealous of the new child and would act irrationally over little things their wives did. Add to that the stress of having a new child and things could get out of hand. I don't think divorce is the solution here because your marriage is still salvageable at this point. If he won't talk to you about it maybe he will talk to a counselor.
2006-09-03 08:59:11 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Had you gotten married 11 years ago, you'd have a lot of legal protection for you and your bastard children if you leave this man. Now, you are totally exposed to the whelms of the "Law of Bastards," which are not very friendly to women who give birth to children out-of-wedlock nor to their illegitimate children. The best advice is to calmly work things out with your "partner" and then get married. Then you can explain to your kids when they are adults that you were waiting to marry their father when you both matured.
2006-09-03 08:49:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's impossible to work things out if both of you wont talk about it. Tell him that there is a lot of problems here and that you will be willing to work through them if he is. If he isn't, then he doesn't care about you. Which I don't think is the case. Communication is what you both need.
2006-09-03 08:53:24 · answer #6 · answered by inluvwshana 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Continue with your plans. If he finds it easy to talk about you behind your back, you don't need him. A man is supposed to protect his woman. If anything, he should get on anyone who tried to say things about you behind your back.
Do what you have to do. I understand, if you read my questions, you will understand. Maybe someone else in the picture. A potential person or downright all up in it already. So be careful.
2006-09-03 08:43:37 · answer #7 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
WHAT IT IS HE FEEL'S THAT SINCE HE'S BRINGING HOME THE MONEY WHAT HE SAY'S AND WANT THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GONNA BE SO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS GET A JOB AND SHOW HIM YOU ARE A INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND YOU CAN DO GOOD OR BADD BY YOUR DAMN SELF YOU ARE NOT A CHILD AND YOU WILL NOT BE TREATED LIKE ONE EITHER YOU CHANGE YOUR WAY'S OR ME AND THE KID'S ARE OUT I CAN DO THIS WITH OR WITHOUT YOU
2006-09-03 08:49:21 · answer #8 · answered by CHRIS T 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
good for you. you don't need to take that crap from nobody.
now since your leaving and you mentioned having your hands tied........
2006-09-03 08:49:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋