my husband and i split up and i come to find out later that he kissed another woman...?

Question

now keep in mind i love him to death and we have two beautiful children together but we faught a lot and now two weeks later he called me outta the blue and said these words to me "we need to talk" and i asked if it was good or bad and he said that all depened on where i stood . so i assume its something along the lines of him wanting me to come home. but i dont knwo what to do i love him and i always will but i dont know ive never handeled cheating very well. any advice would be helpful.. thanks

Answer 1

Don't really get your point...

Answer 2

Once a cheater always a cheater!
How would you be able to forget that he kissed another girl? Even if it didn't mean anything he still did it and he shouldnt have. That will always be on the back of your head. And if you got back together! You would NEVER be able to trust him again. You would always be questioning.

The children are important, but in todays world the split parents thing is at a very high rate.

I believe it was very wrong for him to kiss another girl. He is a married man with 2 children. How do you know he hasn't done stuff before? I don't think you should go back to him, take some time to yourself and enjoy the freedom, no matter how much you love him cheating is never right. Even tho it seems like women always run back to the guy when he they do something wrong please don't and at least give it some time before you do if you are going to make him suffer a little. Even if he give's you flowers and wants to take you out to dinner hold strong

Also think about if you fight all the time that isn't good on the kids. I grew up in a house hold where all my parents did was fight and i couldnt stand it. It literally tore me apart having to listen to it, I usually didn't spend much time at home.

Answer 3

keep in mind your opening words ...you "split up". All bets are off at that point. That's why it's called splitting up. It's not cheating if you mutually agreed to go separate ways.

On the other hand, if it was an agreed upon 'break' with the mutual understanding that neither would kiss anyone else, that's perhaps a different story. If you can't forgive him, tell him no and stay apart. If you honestly can forgive him, do. Maybe that was the shock that reminded him of the value of marriage to a beautiful and understanding woman.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Well it is a risk to take him back and trust has gone, but many people make it through this and live a happy life together. It will require a pretty good effort on your part and his, counseling to get to the reason for it, unless you are the type that doesn't need a reason. I know of a couple who had this problem and he didn't want to know why or who, he just wanted things back the way they were and so far they are happier than most I meet. I do not know anyone that is perfect, Alot are just better at hiding it. I probably wasn't much help but I tried. Good luck.

Answer 5

Listen, I know what you are going through. I went through that for many years with my husband. If he kissed another woman, then there may be more to the story, he's just not willing to tell you everything. He may have told you he kissed her because he feels you will probably trust him if he admits to at least that. But be careful.

It took me many years to finally get it together. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole life. I loved my husband to death too. I would have done anything for him. But after 24 yrs. of marriage I had to let him go. For my own sake. I prepared for this day. It started with little things like this. If you left the house, it was for a reason. Analyze your relationship. Get counseling if need be, but don't get caught up in him. Be true to yourself first. And always be prepared for the worst.

I hope it does work out, because love is wonderful when both parties are willing to work on it.

Good luck.

Answer 6

You need to find the root of the fighting and decide whether or not it can be resolved. If you can't resolve it then it's time to split for good. Constant fighting doesn't do a thing for the kids or you. If you love him and he loves you get counseling and get over "The Kiss" . Think back, have you ever flirted or kissed someone else.? Sometimes you do these things because you want to feel attractive. You want know if you are still attractive to other people.

Answer 7

the two of you do need to talk. I personally wouldn't want anything to do with a man that cheated on me. Kissing another women is cheating. I really don't know what to say because you do love him, i just couldn't take him back, but good luck in what ever you decided to do.

Answer 8

Doesn't sound like there is much to think about here. Your already separated, and still finding out thing's he's done, that were unfaithful, probably many more where that one came from. I doubt the fighting will stop...so move on, and find something that will treat you like you want to be treated.

Answer 9

oh boo hoo, he kissed another woman. Climb down off that cross, use the wood to build a bridge and get over it. If that's all he did, sounds to me like he may have realized what he left behind was what he really wanted. If that's not all he did, hey , your call.

Answer 10

Well fighting is not good for the youngens,you don't trust him now,he wanted some strange and now he wants you because his new gal pal didn't work out or he is horny?hmmmmmmmmmm?I guess you have to ask yourself"does he really love me enough to respect me,the home,the kids"

Answer 11

did he just kiss her?...if so i don't think it's worth dallying on that for a moment longer.....you love him so try again..don't move back just yet...date for a while to see how it goes

if it was more than just a kiss you will never trust him again so end it....just imagine everytime he goes out for the night you will be wondering what he's up to

tough call lady