I love my ex girlfriend. She really takes care of me. I have no complaints in that department. The problem is that when she gets mad she goes crazy!! Its like the incredible hulk. Nice one minute but god forbid when he gets upset. The national guard must be called in. example, she threatened to throw herself out of my car while it was moving. I had to get a cop involved. Days later she took my advice and signed up for anger management sessions with a therapist in order to fix herself and not loose me. would you guys give it a chance? Females welcome to respond.
2006-09-03 08:18:59 · 31 answers · asked by johnblaze 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i've been with her for about 2 yrs for those of you who wants to know
2006-09-03 08:30:06 · update #1
i just want to use this field to let you know that i really appreciate the helpful feed back. Thank you all, and to a few that don't know what in the hell they're talking about.
2006-09-03 10:39:58 · update #2
Its not your problem. Stay away
2006-09-03 08:20:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, was she on her period? lol, Honestly, it is probably attention, I'm not saying she is entirely seeking attention, on purpose, but generally females, like to feel important, is it when you argue about things, that involve her? or the lack there of? Did you make a decision without her? Did you forget to do something she asked you to do? Did you want to do something without her? Did you not say something you should have, tghat would have made her feel more loved?
Simple things like that, it isn't anger, it's feeling of self worth. if that is the case. There's nothing really you can do, that would STOP her, from feeling like this, you can resolve the issue, if you talk to her, about how you feel about this issue, and tell her, that sometimes you aren't perfect, and that you feel everything but that one issue, is perfect. You can also, try asking her why is so upset, when she starts yelling, instead of getting defensive, it's normal for people to act in defense, or to make an excuse for something, rather than rationalize why, it's the main reason arguements start, because they could not be resolved in the intial reaction to an anger moment.
She might be too clingy too, and feels that she needs you to be in a control situation at all times, and that if she yells or threatens you, using herself as the bait, that its actually a way of showing you love her, when you comply, it's wierd, but when you react in her favor, when she argues or says things like she's going to jump out of the car, a wierd chemical of acception is released, and it actually helps her feel better, about herself and your relationship.
Advice: Let her know you love her, but you feel what she is doing is ruining the realtionship, and that you might want to take the relationship to another level if you guys can somehow resolve the situation you have now... it might give her more reason to stop what she is doing, and focus on another outlet.
2006-09-03 08:26:17 · answer #2 · answered by anjui63 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its up to you...
Personally, if I loved her enough, and she actually took the time to get some help, then she must really care about you to do this.
I would make a "go" at it and see what comes out of it. It will take time, and she may slip a few times, but, thats what anger management is for, to help her learn to control herself, so that she can be a better person for you and Society as a whole.
DONT ABANDON HER NOW!
She needs your support more than ever! If not, then she will not attend her classes and she will dive into a deep depression and who knows what a girl like "that" is capable of, when she is willing to toss herself out of a moving vehicle!
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-09-03 08:25:42 · answer #3 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm totally CONFUSED by your question!
If you "love" this woman, why then is she your "EX"-girlfriend??! It sounds to me like you are still in a relationship - in which case, that makes her your GIRLFRIEND, and NOT an "EX"-anything, after all!!!!
Some people just have explosive tempers, and that's just their nature. My mother's one of them, and so was my EX-husband! Those who do have this problem need to seek ways to circumvent it before they destroy ALL relationships they value! At least she has acknowledged the fact that she DOES have a problem, and that's a start. Sounds to me like you (still?) love her, so give her a chance to redeem herself!
So what about YOU?! Are you perhaps a bit on the overly-cool and analytical side??? If so, maybe that contributes to her behavior! Maybe her dramatics and emotionalism are in reaction to your own "cool as a cucumber" personality. Maybe she wants YOU to wig out every now & then, just to show you "care"!
In any case, you CAN make those fundamental differences work to your mutual advantage. She's firey & "hot-blooded" - you're cool & "laid-back". Work together, and you can "balance out" those personality traits. Thank God you don't BOTH have anger "issues" - then you'd REALLY have a problem!!!!
2006-09-03 09:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would hang with her till she gets thru the course. If thinks don't change you will have to decide then. But give her a chance. I had a friend that was like that and he took the course and he has completely changed. No more getting out of control over very small things. Good Luck!
2006-09-03 08:22:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful but yes. I dealt with an ex that was awesome till she got drunk then the same as yours. Just remember the stereotype that is put on men in a Domestic arguement situation. We are thought wrong first. If she cant handle her anger in time your going to have to move on.
Lots of luck man!
2006-09-03 08:25:10 · answer #6 · answered by cowboygene2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting angry is a control issue. It has worked for her in the past, but obviously there are issues she needs to deal with to get this nasty habit out of her life before it ruins it. I am so glad you took a stand on it. Both of you will be better off if she deals with it now and gets it under control. Let her know what your boundaries are and what are deal breakers. Then stick to your guns no matter how hard it is. You will both be better off in the long run. Since she has agreed to go to therapy to deal with it, I would wait before cutting it off with her if you have feelings for her. But don't hesitate to break it off if you feel for a moment she is not sincere in her therapy. You don't need this kind of grief in your life if the tantrums continue.
Good luck.
2006-09-03 08:26:56 · answer #7 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u like her then y not stick around? if she's serious about changing and sticks with it then it should get better. but maybe give her some space (dont see her as much as usual) so she can sort herself out and maybe set a time limit 4 when u expect 2 see a little improvement, if it doesn't happen, cut ur losses. good luck
2006-09-03 08:28:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do really love her, you had better give it a chance. However if there is no change even after a while, dump her. An emotionally unstable person can really screw your life up. My friend was with one for 5 years and I saw what it did to him. Poor bas**** was a perpetual wreck.
2006-09-03 08:24:32 · answer #9 · answered by Crowsnest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Anger management can do wonders IF the person truly wants to change.
And possibly she needs her meds adjusted.
Throw chocolate at her.
2006-09-03 08:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha.. I would have let her trow herself out the car and then maybe she'll learn something. But really give it some time and see what happens cuz she may just need you to stick by her on this.
2006-09-03 08:23:53 · answer #11 · answered by ~Init2winit~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋