My boyfriend and I have been together about a year and his 3 yr. old daughter is such a daddy's girl and attatched to him it makes me sick...and he DOES NOT Mind it one bit! I feel like a picture on the wall when she's around and I have prayed that she comes around to me and stops trying to make me jealous. I have talked to my boyfriend about this, but nothing seems to really change for good. I wouldn't love the guy if he didn't love her but man...i just can't seem to even like her around us!!! I have a daughter of my own and I LOVE her and my b/f isn't jealous of us and everything is great there and she gets along with my daughter great. I am so nice to his daughter, I just feel incredible jealously toward her and I don't show it to her, but inside i feel overwhelmed with it toward her... i hate it..help me
2006-09-03 06:58:55 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
At least your honest about yourself and feel that your feelings are wrong. Although this is a child were talking about here, feelings are NEVER wrong because they're feelings! You cant help what you feel because its an emotion. You can help what you do and at least your not taking actions for your feelings towards her by hurting her etc. Theres alot of crazy people out there now days. So thats a good sign....now, what to do about it. Ask yourself, what makes you the most jealous? Is there ANYTHING that would help? Not to be harsh but you really shouldnt expect a major change in the relationship between he and his daughter because he is her dad and she is his daughter afterall. So ask yourself important questions and answer to yourself honestly about why you feel the way you do. I know this seems ridiculous but alot of people get jealous over children that have what their children do not. ALOT of people feel resentment towards my son and I when he gets more attention than the next kid for alot of reasons....Im not saying you are jealous but is there anything specifically about her that bothers you and causes this jealousy? Do you feel that her and your daughter are in a competition? Keep asking yourself questions. Only when you answer them honestly, you will be able to FIX the real problem or at least find a better way to deal with it :)
good luck
2006-09-03 07:08:49 · answer #1 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter how long you've been with this guy, or no matter how much you love him, his daughter will always be daddy's little girl and number one in hhis life. If she's bratty now, the brattiness only gets worse! If daddy doesn't put his foot down now, you won't stand a chance with her in the future. Get out while you can! If the man won't listen to you now, why keep talking. Say your mind and leave.
2006-09-03 07:17:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's 3 years old!!!! of course she's going to cling to her dad. She's not trying to make you jealous, you say she's getting along with your daughter and everything, so the only one with the problem is you. You're boyfriend isn't jealous of your daughter. 3 year old need so much attention and if her parents aren't together she needs it more sso form the parent she doesn't see as often. Does she live with you and your boyfriend? you need to either get help with this issue or seperate from your boyfriend and find a man with no children. What whould you say if your boyfriend was saying this about your child? You've known this little girl for 1 year and you should feel proud to se her grow and care for her as much a syour boyfriend does.
2006-09-03 07:08:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is his daughter -- a relationship he will have FOR LIFE. You are merely a girlfriend at this point, someone who may or may not be around forever.
Put yourself in this little girl's place -- her mommy and daddy don't live together. All she wants is both her parents, but she only gets to see her daddy once in a while. Of course she's gonna be clingy and a daddy's girl and, yes, a little bratty. Who could blame her?
You need to put the focus and concern on the little girl and not on yourself. I'm not trying to be bitchy or snarky, but I want to say that if you can only think about yourself in this situation, then you need to part on friendly terms with your boyfriend and find another b/f who's not also a daddy.
It's difficult dating divorced or never-married parents, as you are finding out. Good luck to you.
2006-09-03 07:02:54 · answer #4 · answered by I ♥ AUG 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ok, well you either need to do two things, either accept it, or move on. I'm sure this is annoying but perhaps the child does not live with him, and is thrilled to see her father. Also, she's 3, so at that age, they want all the attention in the world and aren't quite ready to be autonomous yet. Give it some time try to do activities with the 4 of you, to try to deflect some of that. Good luck.
2006-09-03 07:02:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my own mother confessed to me that she was jealous of the close relationship i had with my dad - her husband! she didn't have a close relationship with either parent, and her dad died when she was young. Maybe you're messed up like that, too.
i'm glad you are able to act better than you feel. that's what we adults do. try to revel in and enjoy the love that girl gets. be thrilled that this little girl is getting her needs met.
be good! your bf trusts you to do right.
2006-09-03 07:02:48 · answer #6 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get counseling for this feeling before it ruins your relationship.
It is great he is there for his kid when alot of guys take off. But if you can't handle their close relationship you need to move on.
As long as it is healthy and not abusive, be happy she has a loving father do be a good role model for her and your daughter.
2006-09-03 07:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just leave him, him and his three year-old is better off without you. Let him find somebody who wants to be the girlfriend of a father because he's a father. I can't believe you would be so selfish, she's three years old for heaven's sake! BTW, I hate it too, so just get gone already if you can't stop it.
2006-09-03 07:15:50 · answer #8 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you can't handle this, leave him. Your jealousy won't go away and it will follow you for the rest of your life as long as she is around.
2006-09-04 00:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Break up with him. That little girl deserves someone better then you in her life. Save her from having a mean step-mom!!
2006-09-03 07:26:27 · answer #10 · answered by rn.student 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋