I had this younger friend, who my other friends told me to hang out with because he needed a role modle/big brother in his life. He doesn't have any friends, was a little abusive towards his mother, and had a rough temper when he didn't get his way. So we would hang out every now and then. I would take him to concerts/ movies/ baseball games with me an my friends etc. But then he quit his job and decieded to mooch off of everybody and everything that had money/food. He isn't poor or anything he just refuses to get a job, it got to the point where he would call my friend younger siblings and try to talk them into giving him their money, so he could by gas. I tried to tell him how annoyed people were getting by it, but he wouldn't listen. I got fed up with it and told him to grow up , be a man, and get a job. and until he does , not to hang out with me anymore. and now hes back where he started. friendless, and angry. Did a do a bad thing
2006-09-03 06:30:34 · 14 answers · asked by Christian B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It was a nice thing you did to be his friend. Maybe someday he will remember that and it will mean something to him. Sometimes it is beyond our control to make someone take responsibility for their life. You can't be responsilbe for him and he doesn't want to take what you offer at this time. If you step away from him, he will know that you are not going to let yourself be used by him and that might make him see there are consequences to his actions. That is his problem. He doesn't see or know or care about consequences.
Just let him know you are there for him if he ever decides he wants to make himself better.
No, I don't think you did the wrong thing.
2006-09-03 06:45:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jacqueline 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough Love is the hardest to give. You are a wonderful caring person to have tried to help him out. You have done everything that you could possibly do. You were there as a freind in everyway. You even pointed out when he was going astray. Too bad that he still isnt seeing right from wrong. Hang in there and be strong stick with the tough love. You did nothing wrong. You did a good thing by trying to be a friend.
2006-09-03 06:42:34 · answer #2 · answered by galbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you did the right thing. i dont think you can solve this lazy young man. he needs to see someone. you cant be expected to sort him out when hes scrounging off all your family. all he needs to do is go 2 a job centre. but he snot your problem anymore you cant b responsible for him you have your own life and your not a psychiatrist. you were there as a friend but he took things too far and jepordised your friendship. he will have to sort himself out, people liek you try 2 help but theres only so much help you can do. i think it was nice of you to hang out with him in the first place.
2006-09-03 06:37:51 · answer #3 · answered by me! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing and never doubt that. Sorry, but this other dude will find out the hard way others aren't going to always put up with his bullshit and you're very correct when you said he needs to grow up, get a job and be a man!
2006-09-03 06:37:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not you did him a favor. You can NOT help those who do not help themselves. The only way he is going to change is for others to stop paying his way. When he gets hungry enough and friendless he will help himself. Until then you and everybody else are just aiding his laziness and self pity
2006-09-03 06:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. You did the right thing, and he will thank you for it some day. He might hate you for it now, but you're doing him a favor. Sometimes it just takes "tough love" to make people straighten up their lives.
2006-09-03 06:39:02 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough love. He does need to grow up and be a man, and realize that life is not handed to you. The rest of us have to work hard for what we have....you can't go through life mooching...
2006-09-03 06:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by shasta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like a good role model to me. But then again that is all you can be. Do NOT try to be more, if this kid wants to be a jerk then a jerk he will be. The only one that has to change here is HIM.
2006-09-03 06:37:08 · answer #8 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you kindda did. i know you didn't mean it, but it looks likehe started all this when he didn't have any friends, and it might get worse. you know parents tell you things over and over again, don't do that, just tell him how things are and explain it to him. try to find him a job that he enjoys doing,try to talk to him. plz
2006-09-03 06:44:41 · answer #9 · answered by kuki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you did the right thing. What is wrong with youth today? None of them hardly want jobs. They want hand-outs.
2006-09-03 06:33:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋