Hi I am a 23 year old female, married and been dating my husband since we were teenagers. I love my husband, there is no question of that in my head. Then though I have this guy friend, we met when we were 13 and were close for a few months only, we then drifted apart since he lives 14 hours away and didnt have contact again till 6 months ago. He found my email online and we started talking. I am enthralled in him. He is amazing inside and out though I have only seen him that once when we were 13. I find myself having him on my mind and wanting to drop other things to talk to him. I know how he feels about me, he would drop his life to move here by me and be with me but I always tell him I am happily married. I am confused why am i thinking like this about another man whom i dont really know, should i meet him, should i continue to talk to him. My husband knows we talk and is ok with it. I am lost right now. Serious answers only please.
2006-09-03 06:15:55 · 6 answers · asked by war 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think your husband sounds like a good guy... and if you love him as you say you do, you need to stop emailing.
If you take a step back and look at this, you might see that you're really just idealizing and romanticizing the "what if" with a guy you knew 9 years ago for a few months.
I know that it seems like you're "star crossed lovers"... but I'd bet you that once you got to know this guy, he wouldn't measure up to your husband.
I don't mean to moralize. I know how tempting the fantasy can be. But, this is where you either fish... or cut bait. You either value the vows you exchanged, or you don't.
In this case, I don't think the grass is greener. Stay put.
2006-09-03 06:36:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are committed to your husband, stop the conversations with the old guy now. It's part of what committment means. Not that you will never be tempted, but that you will act in ways that keep your relationship with your husband alive.
It is easy for anyone to be delightful on-line. Why on earth would he want to get together with you so quickly out of nowhere? That's not a healthy sign.
You apparently have the mistaken idea that if love is 'real,' it will all come easily, you'll never be tempted, you'll never be bored or in a rut. These are mistaken ideas that are very dangerous to the health of your marriage. Put all the energy you put into thinking about this stranger into your marriage or into your own development.
Don't fantasize about this guy, fantastize about that project you've always wanted to do. Otherwise, you're taking the lazy way out of adulthood and you'll end up miserable.
2006-09-03 06:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't play with fire honey.
you say that you really love your husband, so just be friend with your guy friend, with no any kind of feelings
it's best for you to not see or contact him,
but if you can not do it you can still keep in touch with him not often because his your friend.
be honest with yourself, do you want to ruin your marriage or be happy with your husband, specially if you have children do u want to risk that
okay your husband know that you talk to your guy friend but is he know your feelings? let's put it this way, do you like if your husband have feelings to his girl friend like you have know?
of course not
so be honest and safe your marriage
however if you really fall in love with your guy friend, you have to tell this to your husband, because he deserve to know
let your heart and feelings leads to your decision
I'll pray for you hon
2006-09-03 06:30:02 · answer #3 · answered by catlovers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honest, and a very healthy advice(take it if you want): stop talking with that man,if you do not want to destroy your marriage. Good luck.
2006-09-03 06:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump your husband and if you have son's with your husband than forget a bout him and live your life just the way it is!
2006-09-03 06:19:09 · answer #5 · answered by pldjrftb@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing you can do is go see him for a day
spend all day with him maybe get a room
just have sex with him, a strange ppeter will do you good
2006-09-03 06:52:44 · answer #6 · answered by Richie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋