Anyone else have a child who is being raised in a gay household? I am concerned about her mental health in the long term, especially since both of her female role models are unnurturing -- somewhat callous, I would say. They seem to be trying to guide her towards being an auto mechanic, except clearly she is extremely intelligent already at the age of two. Sorry if that sounds prejudiced.
My background is easygoing and "libertarian," they are very controlling and uptight. How do you cope with this situation emotionally?
2006-09-03 06:11:20 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I suppose I would be more concerned with the callousness than I would the fact that she is in a household with two lesbians. I mean, lets be real, there are gays and lesbians in this world, if your daughter is receiving love, nurturance, and emotional availability from them, than that is positive. I would guess that your role would be that of someone who offers a different view on things, it is alright to "agree to disagree" with these two women, lets hope that they see it this way as well. I would also encourage you to let your daughter, when older, to make some of her own choices, foster her growth into what ever she decides she wants to be. It is nice to want someone to be something particular (is either one of the women a mechanic?), it is one of the finest forms of flattery that your daughter decides to do what it is you do, but that may not be the case in the long run. And don't take this the wrong way, but guiding a two year old towards being a mechanic, or anything for that matter, is probably a bit premature. She should be able to be a child, she will have her whole life to work, she won't always be a child. It sounds like you have some genuine concern and this is positive, if only there were other concerned parents in the world, things could be much better, in my view, hope this helps and good luck.
2006-09-03 12:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by deepthinker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, hell, her lesbian parents are now in control and, most probably, you can't do anything about it now. Her lesbian parents' intentions are not bad, somehow, so I don't think your daughter will be offended at all or feel somewhat denied of her own choices for that matter, even when she grows older. For as long as she gets the affection and support she needs, whether they're lesbians or straight, it will never matter to her at all if they teach her how to become an auto-mechanic.
"They are very controlling and uptight." Congratulate yourself because your daughter will grow up disciplined -- and skilled. Although the chances for her of becoming a lesbian, too, is rather big... but trust she'll be a good girl ;)
2006-09-03 06:34:16 · answer #2 · answered by Mike N. D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't sound like it's their life style you are concerned about, I too would be concerned if my child was being raised by uncaring, unnurturing and callous people, no matter their sexuality. Love your little girl to no end and provide for her the best role model YOU can be, allow her to be the intellegent, bright little star that she deserves to be and make sure she gets to enjoy every moment of her childhood with you. I am a lesbian, and I still think that you should have custody of your daughter if she is being emotionally abused by her Mother.
2006-09-03 06:40:49 · answer #3 · answered by moejaymom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say this comes across as "prejudiced" because you are really complaining about the other parents as being unfit, but you feel it necessary to label the heading "My daughter is being raised by two lesbians..." Their personal parenting skills have nothing to do with their sexual preference, yet these two things are linked in your questions as if they naturally go together. Do you think your view of their parenting skills is unfairly biased by some unrecognized bigotry? It is something to consider if you are really searching for a way to come to terms with this situation.
Other than that, there are many parents whose ex marries a new spouse, and not liking the way your ex and her new partner are raising the child is common. There was a reason you two separated, and in your case, it was obviously due to very different personalities. But, you chose her as the mother of your child, and you need to accept her methods, as long as they aren't abusive (and no, her failure to model the "Betty Crocker" standard of a nurturing mother hen doesn't count as abuse).
You may be sad that your child isn't experiencing some of the more traditional ideals you had hoped for, but try to look on the bright side: she is learning about diversity and tolerance at a very young age. In our ever changing world, that is a very valuable skill.
And most importantly remain an active influence in her life. Kids are influenced by a whole range of role models in their environment, from parents to siblings, to neighbors and family friends, and television. She will pick out the models that appeal to her, and if you are actively involved in her life, you have the power to cancel out the negative traits her mother and step-mother exhibit. You don't have to say anything about it to her, as your actions will speak louder than any words.
I think you will be surprised how well she will turn out.
2006-09-03 06:37:23 · answer #4 · answered by MissM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a number of those individuals are asserting boost her like a strait couple could.....understand what i think of... i think of that little female is fortunate.... I actually have a three a million/2 365 days previous daughter, i'm married, to a girl (lesbian couple) My daughter is the main nicely rounded satisfied little female through fact she has 2 mothers and fathers who love her extra advantageous than existence itself. All that maters is which you like her, gay or strait, married, single, there are a number of categories of families and all that rather concerns is that the youngster is enjoyed. Dont be afraid to tutor affection to your considerable different in front of your daughter all which will do is tutor her its not o.k. to love somebody. As for the male effect. MEH....relatives is whats considerable. Male or woman. do exactly what feels precise for you and dont difficulty approximately your daughter. she would be wonderful.
2016-11-24 19:53:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the household and the people involved. I know of families headed by two lesbians that work perfectly well and produce healthy kids. The ex-husband (of the one L who was married) is cool with it, and the kids are great.
2006-09-03 06:17:19 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as they love her and are good to her, it should be fine. You are her father and you will play a big role in raising her. She will have many different role models and will be able to figure life out on her own as she grows up. Just love her and be there for her. God bless you!
2006-09-03 06:18:31 · answer #7 · answered by kb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be thankful she's with parents that care for her and love her. Don't be judgemental because they are lesbians; who cares.
And your daughter isn't going to grow up to be a lesbian just because her parents are. Besides, what kind of parents do gay children grow up with...exactly!
2006-09-03 06:46:04 · answer #8 · answered by Snuz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get custody of her. I don't think it is good for your daughter to be in a lesbian enviroment. She will probably be confused when she gets older.
2006-09-03 06:17:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel pity for u..
but just can tell one thing .
Tough times never lasts but tough people do.
things wil change soon.
dun worry
2006-09-03 06:17:40 · answer #10 · answered by Nirmal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋