my wife is 22 and I am 34, she recently went to florida to visit her dads family, now she says we ARE moving to Florida in february when we get our tax check. I was not asked if I wanted to move, I was told we were going to move , no questions about it, she says we need a fresh start, away from the nosey, prying eyes of her mothers family here in Indiana.However, she is also bipolar, and very obsessive compulsive, so everything has to be new and some sort of fun adventure in her eyes. will this blow over? what should I do, I have an excellent job and make 24.00 an hour, with 11 years seniourity, I really dont want to give that up!
2006-09-03 05:32:46 · 21 answers · asked by hemi_beepbeep 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Make a compromise, move to a new location, perhaps closer to your job and away from her family.
2006-09-03 05:35:03 · answer #1 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does your wife have a very good job? Does she plan to support you when you get to Florida? Did she just hit a land fall and win the lottery? A tax check can only take you so far. Hurricanes can ruin your life. Indiana is nice, I was just there yesterday.
She needs a reality check and unless you want to move to Florida and live on McDonalds wages, she probably needs to go there by herself and when she lines up a job and can support you, move. Have a great time!!!!
Dont give up your job, That would be foolish.
2006-09-03 12:43:26 · answer #2 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As unfeeling as this may sound--maybe she needs to go there by herself, like maybe for vacation or something for a month or so. There are things that can be done to limit mommy in your current situation, but it won't be easy. I think you may have the main point: moving won't necessarily change anything. The only true fix is to terminate all contact with "mommy."
It sounds like her "flaw" will not "blow over" without some kind of serious change. How long have you been married? Anyway, whether married or not, if one person in a serious and intimate relationship just unilaterally makes a decision as major as that--well that's a huge red flag in my book. I'm afraid there's no easy answer for your situation. You face some hard choices, and ones that may lead to a future without her I fear.
2006-09-03 12:43:13 · answer #3 · answered by DellXPSBuyer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as with all important family changes,this needs to be discussed,planned out,financed and at least wanted,,if you can agree to talk about the up-sides and potential downs before committing to anything then there is hope,,,you both need to agree before a move can be started,,treat her seriously and sit down with pen and paper and talk it through,her ideas may not seem important to you and vise versa but you need to hear each other out,stress the need for agreement whether it is something you would consider in a year or two,if she will wait till then,whether she has considered what job you and her can do,,where you will live,what kind of life you could have and whether or not you would actually go if she could show it was a well thought out proposition,,sit down and have a proper talk.
2006-09-03 12:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I short visit might help. but this is a major FAMILY thing and you are right she can't make you do something you don't want to do. Go with her to a counselor and talk this thru....I do have to say I moved to Florida two years ago and I LOVE it (but it was a hard choice) btw look into the job thing and see what you can get there if you it isn't close to what you have now the risk is not worth it, jobs are hard to come by.
2006-09-03 12:38:57 · answer #5 · answered by silver 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i do not have a physiology background just the school of hard knots. you need to sit down and talk with your wife many times and tell her that you do not want to go. don't yell. don't beat around the bush!! give her every reason not to leave. also tell her that the economy is not promising and you have no guarantee that you will make it financially moving. now how do she know that her father's family will be as noisy!
2006-09-03 12:51:09 · answer #6 · answered by sumayyah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should have discussed it with you, in a marriage both of you have to make an important decision like that. If you dont want to move then I think you need to talk to her. If she wants to go no matter what then its up to you how much you dont want to leave and if that means a divorce. Hope everything works out
2006-09-03 12:37:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell her that there are other things to consider besides the need for a change. What does she expect you both to do for money once you get there? Is it really worth giving up your job (and hella good money) and benefits on this whim?
Stand your ground, and get her to take her meds.
2006-09-03 12:37:53 · answer #8 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her if she still wants to move in 2 years then you will consider it.
2006-09-03 12:47:18 · answer #9 · answered by NickyO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! It is not fair. You need to lay down the law, or you need to find a new wife. How would she like it if you told HER that you were both moving to Baghdad? Do not give up your job - lay down the law, or find a new wife.
2006-09-03 12:39:07 · answer #10 · answered by Paul H 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋