i am 18 and considering getting pregnant for my bf but i am scared because i am starting my first year in college and would perfer to wait till after i graduate but my bf is persistant and i want to make him happy i love him. i am also conserned he might try without me knowing is it possible for him to mess with the condoms??? recently 3 condoms have broke???
2006-09-03 05:32:35 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i also really want to be a vet that what i am in college for he wants to be a mechanic his reasoning is that he can afford it.
2006-09-03 05:33:21 · update #1
i have never told him no before
2006-09-03 05:33:48 · update #2
Finish your education first.
Do not let him talk you into geting pregnant.
If he loves you that much then he will respect you and your wishes. If he does not then he will not make a good parent, as he is not a good person.
2006-09-03 05:36:23 · answer #1 · answered by Biker 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is trying to keep you from being more successful than him. If you want to be a vet - you are looking at years of education - and lots of long hours - not at all conducive to having children. It can be done - but it's a whole lot more difficult.
You may not like to hear this - but at 18 - you are still a kid in many ways. You need to figure out how to be on your own and take care of yourself (paying rent, utilities, working, affording all you need) before you bring a baby into it.
If he truly loves you an wants what is best for you - he should stop pressuring you. It is not the right decision.
As for his messing with condoms - I would guess he could but don't know for sure. Get on the pill - that way it is in YOUR control, not his.
2006-09-03 12:40:42 · answer #2 · answered by yundo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are in college, so I know you are smart!
Please wait to have a baby!
Get your education first!
I hate to tell you this but, my first impression is that your bf is afraid that you may grow away from him, and he thinks that a baby will keep you together! It won't! It will just leave you with a child to care for!
Finish school first, get married then worry about kids! Or at least finish school first, then have kids! Atleast that way you will be able to support yourself and a child.
Besides you both will miss out on a lot of fun.
Make yourself happy first! Because you can't make anyone else happy, if you aren't happy!
Good luck kiddo!
2006-09-03 12:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by suequek 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, I have not been in this situation.
This guy sounds like Bad News. He's trying to prevent you from having the life you want to have.
Is he going to be the one to take care of this child while you pursue your education? ... Didn't think so.
You can always have a child later, when you're ready. You can't un-have a child you have already had.
If you aren't willing to leave him (as you really should, but probably won't), I suggest you get a diaphragm or some other birth control that YOU control, as his messing with condoms will make the decision for you, and it is a really bad decision.
(A friend of mine got pregnant because the boyfriend lied to her, telling her that he had had a vasectomy -- there are men (boys, really) -- who lie or cheat in order to get a girl pregnant. No one who would do such a thing loves you; such people are incapable of love.)
As others have suggested, it sounds to me as though he's trying to prevent you from doing better in life than he plans to do. In other words, he's trying to seriously mess up your life.
You're only 18, and hard as it is to believe, you will get over him.
2006-09-03 15:03:05 · answer #4 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hun finish school first im telling you having a baby will change your life forever and it will ruin your life cause who knows what if a few years your bf dumps you living you with the baby and no job what are you going to do then? i advise you to wait until your married or at least finish school and have a great job starting cause kids are very expensive and if the condoms keep "breaking" then just go on birth control and talk to your bf about this tell him your really sorry and you cant because you want to finish school first
2006-09-03 13:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by ♥◦◊◦Brown eyed babe◦◊◦♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if he loved you, he would wait till you were ready, not force you into making a decision because that's what HE wants.
A commitment is a two way street, not my way or no way.
I know you don't want to hear this, but, you asked and this is my personal feelings in this matter.
You are looking into a great future, but, if you get pregnant now, who's gonna watch the baby while you finish school?? Is he willing to put aside his career so you can go for yours??!! Or will you have to put yours on hold??
How does your family feel about this, did you ask for their advice, if not, you might want to include them in, and yes, even include his family. They can help you with the statistics and offer their support if you do choose to go for a early family.
Either way, best of luck to you..
2006-09-03 12:40:42 · answer #6 · answered by Torri * 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey. The worst thing you can do is get pregnant FOR HIM. If you want a child, get ya education first. If you feel unsafe and think he is messing with your condoms...Go to a Health Clinic and get Birth Control. He won't need to know..
You seem like you really want to get your education completed. Because I was still at school when I had my first child, and I wasn't able to concentrate. I had to wait until he was a lot older before I completed my education.
2006-09-03 13:31:00 · answer #7 · answered by blackrose62863 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it! From what you said, you don't want and are not ready for a baby right now. Wait until you graduate. Better yet, wait until you are married to him. That way you can be sure (as sure as you can be) that he will stay with you.
If you are worried about him messing with the condoms, start using birth control pills.
2006-09-03 17:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by millancad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not get pregnant to please anyone. Once you have a child you will be tied for life.
Ditch your boyfriend, go to college and become a vet. In another 10 years when you are prepared to settle down with a family with someone far better, and you both are ready, you will be so glad you did. Think of the freedom you can have in between.
Don't throw away your youth!
2006-09-03 13:03:10 · answer #9 · answered by Thia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, you should really talk to an older adult in your life. Do you have any idea how expensive kids are? My fiance is 28, I'm 23 and we pull in over $80k a year, and I still don't think we are ready for kids. I'm sure you will make an amazing mom one day. And you know what? You're going to make an amazing veterinarian too! Please finish school first. If you don't feel you can tell him no by yourself, maybe this isn't the give and take relationship it should be. Talk to a trusted older adult in your life, maybe a parent, older sibling, and let them know whats up. They can offer you support. Good luck!
2006-09-03 12:38:29 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa H 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't get pregnant now please. When in doubt (which you are) say no!! You want to continue your career and make smething of yourself go ahead with college then later on have a baby if YOU both truely want to. THe guy you are goin out with seem slike a complete loser and jerk, first tell him how you feel, if he wotn let you follow your dreams them dumb him like a hot potato!!! Hes not worth your tiem & not fit to be your bf if hes gonna act so selfish!!
2006-09-03 15:56:23 · answer #11 · answered by Carly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋