would it be wrong if i told my dad my stepmom was not invited to my wedding?

Question

my stepmom is a miserable person and i dont want her at my wedding, she would surely ruin it by pulling her usual crap (she likes to tell people my dad beats her, she likes to "commit suicide" although, she never goes through with it, she's a total dramaqueen and NO ONE likes her)
my dad will be paying for my wedding, i just dont want her to come, which i think is fine, since it is my day

(i'm not getting married soon, just want to know)

Answer 1

Explain to your dad how you feel about your stepmom. Tell him he needs to make sure she doesn't mess things up at your wedding.(there is no way you can not invite her, she is your dads wife now) But put your foot down if she starts anything at the wedding just have her escorted out and tell her to leave.

Answer 2

I have hear of things like this in the past, and the first thing i wonder is if the daughter/son are just not accepting of the new person in their fathesr/mothers life since it might have been a bad divorce experience (as if there could be positive ones). My suggestion is that you speak to both her and your dad and be open and honest about your feelings. This day should be something special and memorable for what it is not for what it is made by others. So be open and communicate with them about your feelings. Then if this fails get a job and pay for your own wedding and invite those who you want there, that way you dont feel like you would insult your father by not inviting the new woman in his life, which might happen if you tell him not to bring her. Good luck!

Answer 3

I can totally relate to what you're feeling, as my stepmother had mental problems that made her a very unpleasant person to be around.

Tell your dad exactly what you told us here. He's not blind and will certainly understand what you're talking about, though you may have to insist that since it's your wedding that you have the right to invite or dis-invite whomever you choose. If he pulls the "I'm paying for it" card, then scale back your plans and pay for your own wedding. It will be worth it to have a smaller affair if your stepmother isn't there to ruin it.

Answer 4

wedding day is suppose to be one's great day.. you must be the happiest person in the whole wide world. if you won't be happy with stepmom to be there, then don't invite her.

whatabout your dad? he must be there.... but will he go without your stepmom? that's the question. if he can go without her. no problem. what if not?

what would you choose? having your dad around on your wedding day with your stepmom? or not having him at all?

for a dad, the wedding of his daughter is so special that he would not miss out. think of that...

Answer 5

My cousin had the same problem with her mother-in-law coming to the wedding. She didn't want her there, but you can't tell your fiancee that his mother can't come to his own wedding. She showed up in a black dress and she sat there and drank a can of Diet Coke while the ceremony was going on. Very distastful if you ask me, otherwise she didn't cause any other problems. I can definately understand why you don't want her there. It might cause a riff between you and your dad if his wife can't come to you wedding.........so just sit down and talk to him about it.

Answer 6

Well, while you may have the right to tell your dad, you would rather his wife not be at your wedding, just expect he may very well pull the money out of the wedding, and not show up himself. I guess, you'll have to decide, on how important it is for you to have your dad, not only AT your wedding, but paying for it as well...

Answer 7

Talk to both of them about it. Let her know how you feel about the crazy things she says and does. If you have your dad tell her, then that is like making him choose between the two of you. If after talking to her you feel the same way, you need to be the one to tell her that you dont want her to come. there is a way to tell her without being nasty with it. I am sure your dad will understand how you feel. Hope it works out for you!

Answer 8

If your step mom is such a problem, just avoid the whole situation altogether...

Instead of having your dad pay for your wedding, gather up a few really close friends and go elope at some romantic place some weekend.

To tell your dad that she's not welcome will just place a rift between you and him, and why ruin a relationship with him over his choice of a spouse?

Answer 9

I certainly don't blame you for not wanting her to be at your wedding... that's your day & nothing or no-one should spoil it for you.
There are 2 ways that I can think of, that you could look at the situation.
1- don't invite her & you go thru the day feeling relieved that she's not there.
2- don't invite her & you go thru the day feeling bad about your dad possibly not being in a good mood because of her not being there.
It's something that definently needs to be discussed with your dad.
It is your day... you need others to be considerate of your feelings, thoughts & wishes.
It's a day you'll remember for the rest of your life... & when you look back, you don't need to see anything horrible about it.
It's a day that's meant to be>>> beautifully perfect.

Answer 10

I think it is because you are making your dad choose between you and the woman in his life. I don't know how close you and the step mom are, but I think you have some issues on the table with her that need to be brought out and discussed. Sometimes just talking to a person helps mend those issues. I felt like that with my dad and his wife now, but after talking with her and letting her know how I felt it opened the door of communication. Sounds like step mom need some spiritual friends; true spiritual friends.