When things with your personal life, marriage are not going too well, how to remain happy and not be depressed

Question

My marriage is going thru rough weather.Am trying my best to make it work. How do i keep myself from being depressed. I have had a brief affair with another wonderful man but he is married so that's not an option. This has further depressed me. How do i get back my peace of mind and happiness?

Answer 1

This is tough... Depression, happiness, peace of mind are things we can only partially control. I would first and foremost suggest to keep busy with something you feel useful in: either with your job, or your children, or volunteer work. Self esteem is very important in those moments.
I don't know a single person who has not gone through some kind of depression at one point or the other in its life. What to say: life ain't easy, there's nothing we can do about it, just cope with it!
Also, bad times are always followed by good ones (unfortunately, the opposite works also!). So even when everything seems hopeless, you have to force yourself to remenber that time heals everything: people saying the opposite just weren't patient enough. And yes, it may take some long years but eventually, things will clear up!
When I was on the verge of falling into depression, I followed a 3 steps rule (it may seems harsh to some people, and it may not work with everybody but it worked with me):
1) I allowed myself to think anything I wanted, feel as sorry as I wanted about myself, cry inside as loud as I wanted AS LONG AS IT STAYD INSIDE MY HEAD, AS LONG AS I HID IT.
2) I didn't show my feelings to anybody: acting pretending to be happy eventually affected my inner self.
3) If really things are becoming to hard, choose VERY CAREFULY someone you can talk with open-hearted.

And of course, keep busy (once again), do things that you like doing, that will boost up your confidence and you moral, fight against it, don't let it install. It put my method up there, but if you feel like this is not the good one for you, maybe you can try building up your own. Maybe you 'd prefer talking about it again and again: then you have to find a good listener, a very good friend or maybe a therapist...

I don't think remaining happy all the time is possible or only for very few lucky people. But I sincerly believe that we are all able and strong enough to fight against depression: you have to believe in it!
I think many people can relate to your actual state of mind: you can always contact me if you want to talk about it more!
I wish you all the best!

Answer 2

You need to talk to someone close to you that won't judge you. A friend? Relative? Clergy? If none of these, perhaps a therapist? There has to be someone out there that can help you to get through this. You should be experiencing a lot of guilt from cheating on your husband. At least I hope you are. You need to work these feelings out with a trained professional. Good luck.

Answer 3

U seem to be very practical. One has to struggle for existance. Serious n sincere people always suffer.i dont know what to say now. can u pl send me ur email add.For the time being i suggest even if u are feeling alone n no body is around to talk to ,means god wants to talk to u my friend. Tomorrow is always another day/ looking around will not work. peace is within./i will pray u will get it./from where u come from. ? my email no is carmaexpo@yahoo.c..in upto u/but pl dont get depressed/ R.

Answer 4

Start living for yourself. Life is too short. Once you find self happiness the rest of life's stuff just falls in place. But keep it legal and moral.

Answer 5

Well, it's going to be hard, but if you just really try to work things out. Or going shopping always helps me...lol. Good luck hun!

Answer 6

It's tough, but remember that what goes up also comes down and what comes down also goes up. Wait it out and your time of happiness will come too.

Answer 7

Meditation is the answer.