We have an 18mth. old boy, I stay home all day while he works. I am lonely, and in need of some good lovin' but I'm not the naughty girl I used to be and find it really difficult to go from one extreme to the other. I was the initiator usually and feel neglected because he seems to expect it of me. I need HIM to help me in order to be that"girl" for him again, but how do I express this w/out a fight breaking out and ruining everything? I realize we're not young parents and get tired, but w/out any intimacy, I'm losing my desires and my self esteem drops daily. I don't want to
end up thinking once a month is okay...it isn't, not w/us at least. I know it's going to be up to me, so where do I begin??? Right now I feel so unattractive and un-sexual and that's not the woman I was before I had a baby. What happened?
2006-09-03 04:59:24 · 11 answers · asked by south_lido 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Life in progress...it happens a lot, dear. You need to have this talk with your man. Do it soon...for your own peace of mind.
2006-09-03 05:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by westgaliberty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A baby changes everything. I'm sure that u've heard that before. Try finding a babysitter, that should take care of the child care issue. Now, the hard part. U seriously have to communicate with ur husband. Even if it turns into an argument if the truth is being spoken, he'll hear u loud and clear. U have to try doing the same things U did before baby came along.(getting ur hair done, clothes shopping,etc.) And U should even consider talking to ur Dr. Post Partum Depression might be rearing it's ugly head here. And even though it's been18 months try to remember it's natural and normal to feel this way after having a baby. U just don't wanna stay in this funk. Hope this helps. Good Luck.
2006-09-03 05:55:37 · answer #2 · answered by Timber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that takes 9 monthes to create. Some women while they are pregnant they start loose self-esteem cause they see themselves as ugly. Or, there man does not pay attention to them while they are pregnant and one might think that this is a direct reflection toward them and this again creates low self-esteem. start out slow. Make one day out of the week where you let a family member or someone you can trust watch the baby and you and your husband have a date night. Do something. Go see a movie, go to dinner, or even go for a long walk and just talk. It isn't going to fix itself over night. It didn't take over night to get this way. Also, during the day get out of the house. Take a walk with the baby. Watch peoples reactions when they see your baby. Don't be like most women, when someone tells you that you have a cute baby be nice and use this in your favor. Remember this baby is a part of you. If they are saying the baby is cute then honey you must be to. Be proud. You work just as hard as your husband. If he does not believe this leave him alone for some time with the baby along and see how he feels when you come home. HEHEHEHE!
2006-09-03 05:22:36 · answer #3 · answered by dennis b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OOOH I have the perfect answer.I have two kids and I was going through the same thing. I started by having ME TIME . Some times you can get so focused on being a mommy and wife/girlfriend that you forget to be you.Believe it or not having a little you time will boost you confidence and spark things up so to speak.Also make spending time with your man a priority like Tues is just you guys day no kids no work or nothing. That can help alot because it gives you guys time out of a daily routine.Hope this helps...
2006-09-03 06:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by heathermom0927 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U had a baby, and began to see yourself in an entirely different body.
get your body back in shape. Exercise like hell! Get out your sexy lingerie, or get some new.
Clean the house, get dinner ready, prepare the baby for bed, and put on some red panties and bra.
Meet him at the door when he comes, in from work, and just say "Hi, big boy". Don't press him, but see if he doesn't get excited.
Married sex with children brings in a whole new set of circumstances, and you and he both have to work hard to bring back the spark, and get it going again.
No, once a month is not enough, but he may feel just too worn out to initiate, and go through foreplay. So you may have to get yourself ready in that department, too!
When you get so horney you can't stand it, and he's not interested, then do yourself; release that tension.
But work on that problem. You may need counseling to get 'er dun.
2006-09-03 05:10:15 · answer #5 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After the little one is in bed take a bath and then dress for the occasion. You just need to get started then the rest should happen. Just start doing little things to let him know more often. Notes in his pocket or lunch box but nothing to embarrass him. If both of you put a little effort in to this at a time then both of you will get back in the mode.
2006-09-03 05:08:27 · answer #6 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a sitter for a night, .....all night.
Go out , have dinner, dance a little ...if he will.
Stay at a hotel that has a spa in the room. Take some candles, lotions, toys(?), something to drink.
Plan on sleeping in, breakfast in the room, eat in the tub even!You don't have to clean anything up!
Make that date once a month. Bring something new each time, lotion, a nasty video, new toy. Make it your once a month date where you can both let go!
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2016-11-06 08:25:40 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from some lingering traces of post-partum depression, you are just burned out.
You need to sit down with him and talk about what can be done to recharge everything.
but you need to do something, or you'll end up like me.
16 years and not even a whiff of it
2006-09-03 05:15:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
put the baby to bed, take a shower together, light some candles and enjoy yourselves, thats what my wife and I do! we have a 16 month old boy, so I know what yr goin through.
2006-09-03 05:15:19 · answer #10 · answered by hemi_beepbeep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋