How do you deal with being gay or lesbian?

Question

How do you deal with it?
How do you accept those feelings inside you?
How do you come to terms with it?
Would you change those feeling if you could?
When did you know and how?
When did you come out, if you are?
How did you meet other people like here?
How do you deal with family

Answer 1

When I found out that there were other gay people, I asked as many of them as I could the same questions as you are asking now. I would go to a gay bar in town, sit at the bar and talk to anybody who talked to me. I was a barfly for a while... just dancing and talking to as many people as I could.

What I learned from them is this:

Every person comes to grips with their sexual orientation in their own way.

"Coming Out" isn't always the best idea.

You don't have to be a slut to have a good time... but sometimes it's fun, anyway.

Your sexual orientation should never interfere with the rest of your life. When a person focuses more time and energy into being gay than they do on being a productive member of society, the imbalance usually messes up their lives.

Pick good friends wisely and rarely. Most people will eventually break your heart in some way or another. Limit the "number" of people who have that kind of access. The ratio of "acquaintances" vs. friends is best left in the 10 to 1 range.

Roommate situations always turn out bad. Try to make it on your own prior to the long term, committed relationship that leads you to co-habitate.

When a guy buys you a drink, he thinks it's rude if you accept a drink from somebody else too soon after.

When you get over the trying not to be a homosexual, you get the chance to be you... and that doesn't require any effort, so you can focus on making life good.

The family will have a better time dealing with it if you present it from a rational and successful perspective. If you are drugged up and living with a dude because you don't have any other place to stay, they aren't gonna be very inclined to accept it. If you bring the information from a vantagepoint of independence, they will have less reason to take it bad. Very few parents are happy to get this news. Some take it better than others.

I learned many other things from them... however it would take a book to tell you all of it. Chew on that for a while.

Answer 2

The same way you deal with anything that is a part of you, you learn about it, you accept it and you go on.
You come to the realization that this is the way that it is, there isn't anything wrong, it' is just a fact of life, the same with hair color, eye color, skin color or anything else.
See the second answer.
No, I wouldn't change those feelings because it would also change what makes me who I am.
I've alays known, I simply never developed an attraction to females.
When I was 19.
I talked to others I knew about.
I deal with them fine. I am an adult now. This is my life. I love my family but if they want to be part of my life they will either accept things as they are or I'll simply move on my way. Love for someone does not mean you will allow them to dictate terms on how YOU have to act or must be. I am quite capable of standing on my own. Life is much too short to allow others to dictate terms.

Answer 3

1) I educate myself about myself, and the world surrounding me. Hopefully this is how any human deals with being human.

2) By knowing that my common identity with the rest of the world is human; by finding other humans who love and support me without prejudice, without discrimination.

3) See #'s 1 and 2

4) No. There are certainly more important things in the world to focus on changing, such as world hunger, poverty, and institutions that perpetuate human inequality.

5) Me personally? I knew the moment i realized it.

6) After i attempted to commit suicide, before i learned about myself and the rest of the world.

7) Took a while, actually. I went online though and slowly but surely i began also finding other people in my town.

8) Well people will be as they are. Just because they are blood doesn't mean something any one way. So, i deal with them honestly, patiently, compassionately... and i also largely choose my own family from amongst those who have entered my life with grace, gentleness, and love.

ya know, i don't necessarily identify as a lesbian woman or a gay man. but, i certainly identify as queer. ^_~

Answer 4

This is a multi-tiered question. I'll gladly answer:

1. There's nothing to deal with. I am who I am.
2. I've had these feelings for a long time. Nothing new to me.
3. Refer back to Answer #1.
4. Hell to the NO!
5. When I was a young adult and I just said, "Momma, I'm gay." She said, "What does that have to do with you not taking out the trash?"
6. Refer back to Answer #5.
7. I met most of my LGBT brothers and sisters in the military.
8. With plenty of stiff drinks and snappy comebacks(just kidding). I have a loving, wacky family and they love me no matter what.

Are you in the process of coming out? If so, it's very liberating. If you're straight, check out some of the websites that can help you understand our community.

Answer 5

While not Gay, I can tell you a few things....be proud of who you are, being in love is no different if you are straight or gay. You don't need to change society does. I have never understood the concept that people "choose" to be gay...why would anyone "choose" to be in a population that is ridiculed, put down and demoralized. I don't believe anyone has a choice of being gay anymore than you have a choice of being left or right handed. You are who you are and thats nothing to be sorry for....enjoy life and love!!

Answer 6

I'll answer all of them:

How do you deal with it?
The same way I deal with my stunning good looks. I have them. I'm fine with it. Life goes on. Doopy Doopy Doo.
How do you accept those feelings inside you?
The same way I accept the fact that I really like cheesecake. Mmm Cheescake is good. Mmm Men are goood. Life goes on. Doopy Doopy Doo
How do you come to terms with it?
The same way I come to terms with the fact that I'm white. Hey! I'm white. Okie Dokie.
Would you change those feeling if you could?
Maybe if I wasn't in love. But I am. I'd try being straight and see which I preffered. But hey, I can't so no use thinking about it. Doopy Doopy doo.
When did you know and how?
I KNEW when I got a chubby for my neighbor at age nine. He had a nice butt.
When did you come out, if you are?
To my parents at thirteen. To the world at 16. Seriosuly. But i did it differently. I just assumed everyone knew and treated them as such. People would say "yeah i saw that movie, the chick was so hot." and i'd say "yeah i saw it too. that guy was so ripped. it was sexy as hell" people tend to get less offended when they aren't presented with the option. you can't be like "ummm i have something to tell you" because then you're giving sexuality all of this undue credit. it's not like you're converting faiths or joining the army- those are choices. you're just gay. big deal.
How did you meet other people like here?
gay.com start there. find your town in a chat room. people there will be nice and tell you where to go to meet guys in your area.
How do you deal with family?
ooooo tough one. i told my mom is she couldn't accept me for who i was then she could just accept the fact that she no longer had a son. she wokred it out on her on. her issues are not my problem. no she hugs my husband and calls him her son in law. like i said- don't give people a choice. just be.

Answer 7

i deal one day at a time.i go with how i feel inside.and i am who i am .and i would not change how i am for no one cause i would want to be happy in life .i was 13 yrs. old and just knew some how i was differant and never really understood for a longe time how to feel ..never came out why would i ,, no one needs to know ..no and not in bars stay out of them they are gay ppl. out there and you will know one when you see them cause if they are into you they will come out to you.over look family they would ever understand ..

Answer 8

It's easy...
I like being a homo.
I don't have to accept WHAT I am, because I love WHO I am.
There's nothing to come to terms with: I am happy.
I would not change me, and anyone who would is a sad person indeed.
I've never had to know, I just love who I am with, not what gender they are.
I never had to come out, because my parents always raised me that you should never be ashamed of yourself.
I don't meet people thinking, "are they going to accept me?" I let them form their own opinion of me.
My parents and sisters (including my twin) accept and love me because I am a kind, caring person. Not because I am "Normal"

Answer 9

1. very well, perfectly
2.no reason to not wanting them, it's great when u fall inlove with someone
3.by dating a guy, and stopping to listen to stupid preconceptions
4.i would try to fall only for the good ones, but i seem to fall for the bad ones.
5.since im very young. but when i fell inlove for the 1st time was when i said "ok, im going for it"
6. step by step. 1st to my friends, then family. started 5 years ago
7. i met actually by studying overseas in different places. that helped me to meet new people without caring too much
8. better than ever. all that made us closer.

Answer 10

first of all,you just be yourself.
you have to be honest with yourself first,then to others.
it can be a struggle with yourself if your brought up in a home and community that is very non open minded.
Why change who u are,and what u feel?
Family is probably the hardest part,to come out to ur parents if they are not open minded.