I have been married 17 years. My husband used to drive a truck and come to find out, there was a girl online he was trying to hook up with. Then at another job, there was a girl in North Carolina who was practically moving up here with him, not to mention that he had all kinds of women calling him on the phone. Just recently I moved to another state for my job and he was supposed to come here after he got some things straightened out. He signed up for an online dating service and started answering emails. He talks sex and love to these women online and says that I should know our marriage is strong enough and that it means nothing to him. Is this a normal thing to do? He is 50 and swears he has never cheated on me, but this is a rush to him, like playing games. Do other people do this? He has always flirted with other women in front of me and a few of them he practically came onto. He tells me I am insecure. As for me, seems he has no respect for regard for me.
2006-09-03 04:30:52 · 12 answers · asked by lindamarie3023 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are a lot of people who do it. And yes, a lot of them do end up taking their virtual cheating to reality and meet them and have sex etc. There is a small minority who make it a point to keep it "fun" and nothing more, but human nature makes it very easy for people to get carried away and forget the rules.
There is no simple answer to what your husband is doing is right or wrong. It all depends how YOU feel about it, and if he really loves him as you are saying he should pay some attention to your feelings despite how he feels about it.
Excessive internet sex addiction can be an issue if it starts to influence the day to day activities of your married life, so you might want to consider going for counseling.
It could even just turn out to be a phase he's going through and eventually get bored with it, or it can get out of hand. Try communicating closely with him. Try to see if you can resolve it among the two of you first then if that fails, seek some professional help.
2006-09-03 04:41:47 · answer #1 · answered by kevinrtx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you are married to an idiot. If you believe ANYTHING he has told you about not cheating, etc... then you are also an idiot. I am not saying that to be offensive.. just making a point. This man will NEVER.. and I repeat.. NEVER.. be faithful to you.. I guarantee you that he already has cheated.. If your marriage was strong, he would NOT be doing this crap.. Personally, I would kick his sorry butt out the door so fast, his 50 year old hormones would bounce all the way to Timbuktu.. He isn't worth your time. Life is way too short, Honey, too put up with such nonsense. OF COURSE he is telling you he hasn't cheated and that all of this is ok... he has you snowed!! So far, he is doing whatever he wants and he is getting away with it! Why should he admit to anything.,. and why should he change anything? Honey, get some 'balls' and take charge of this. Show him that you aren't going to take his crap any more! GOOD LUCK!!
2006-09-03 11:45:23 · answer #2 · answered by Nancy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, does he know how bad it bothers you? If he does, and doesn't stop, then this addiction is more important to him than his marriage! He needs to give it up, or get help. Addictions are progressive, and if he hasn't physically cheated on you yet, it is just a matter of time. In my opionion, he is cheating already. One should never discuss sex with other people without his wife's involvement or consent. Sex in any form should be a sacred thing between the two of you.
Wish you the best
2006-09-03 11:49:27 · answer #3 · answered by annette1985 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good man wouldn't treat his wife like this. Dump him and find a man who will respect you and not chase other women. He may say it is only online but if he had a women followed him from another state then there was more then just talking going on.
2006-09-03 12:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by mistypa12000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eeeeeeeeeeeek! I hate men like that! I am married to a net addicted man and it really is sicko! This age we are is the time of getting older and wanting to keep our youth.I think men do chat and find it a thrill to have chicks admire them on or offline.Mine flirts too and tell me even if Im not there.I think one thing is they are honest and to honest to there wives.You know he is in that macho job with alot of men .He is probley not attractive .Amazing but theres a good chance he had a sheltered childhood and now is in a candy store of woman on the net.Since you cant change him .I mean dont even try it wont work.You are to become independent of him .Play the love game ! Too bad but he needs a jolt! You can write me ,Im going to start to play it too!
2006-09-03 11:59:05 · answer #5 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh come on, you know deep down that is not how a HUSBAND is supposed to act!!!!! I know how hard it is to leave a "comfortable" marriage, but when he is hurting you on a daily basis, it really is no longer worth it. Can you "talk" to MEN online?????? IT is 2006, I'm sure you can find the strength to get out and find a man who will respect you, It is hard but think long term, ya know?!
2006-09-03 11:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by POPPY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has no respect to u and your marriage at all. if he is on line with other women then he doesn't know what the heck he wants. If he is never home for you but has time to be on line with others then that to me is called cheating!!!
2006-09-03 12:00:01 · answer #7 · answered by LadySonia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people just like to tease on the internet and see what they can get others to say or do. but some people like to cheat, i would tell him it bothers you and to stop or your gonna get on the computer and find a new husband!
2006-09-03 11:38:49 · answer #8 · answered by mommy_dearest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question. He wants it both ways. He wants a wife that he can come to when HE needs something, but still wants the single life.
2006-09-03 11:43:45 · answer #9 · answered by Jason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right...no respect or regard.
It isn't "normal" and his disrespectful behavior should be addressed
2006-09-03 11:37:52 · answer #10 · answered by westgaliberty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋