My best friend is having an affair with a married man whose wife I also happen to be friends with. I try to tolerate the situation, but it bothers me when they wanna double date with me and my bf. Oh yeah, my bf happens to be best friends with the married man and they work together. I feel really bad knowing that my very good friend is being betrayed by her husband and me. I wish I had the nerve to do something. What should I do and how? One more last note: This guy has a history of cheating on his wife. She never leaves him. Should I just wait and see if this too blows over?
2006-09-03 04:03:58 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First off, stop the double dating thing; U have become an enabler.
Secondly, Tell ur friend how uncomfortable u r knowing of the affair and ask her to curtail any and all involvement with this guy when she's around U. If she's a true friend to U, she'll respect ur wishes. Lastly, U stated that ur friend's husband has a H/O cheating; I would just let this thing play itself out and let the pieces fall where they may. If ur "very good" friend hasn't left her cheating husband before she probably won't now. All U can do is not take part in hurting her.
2006-09-03 04:29:48 · answer #1 · answered by Timber 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I Am Messing Around With A 54 Year Old Married Man And I Am 20 Years Old. I Been Messing Around With Him Since Last September 2005. He Has A Son Who Is 20 And He Is My Friend And A Daughter Who Is 17 And His Daughter Caught Us Having Sex Once Before But She Did Not Say Nothing To Nobody Because She Has Autistic And She Has A Mind Of A 6 Year Old. This Married Man Wants To Leave His Wife And Married Me... But I Do Not Know If He Will Leave His Wife Of 21 Years! The Sex Is Good And He Always Said I Love You To Me All The Time And I Do Not Know What To Do. But I Love Him! We Never Use Protection But He Pulls Out And Ejaculate On My Stomach!
2006-09-07 08:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by ~Metalman Princess~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two sides to everything, right?
Most might say, pick the friend that you are closest to and talk to her about "getting right".
I would say, discretion is the better part of valor.
Affairs have a zero chance of working out -
basically, he has to divorce from his wife completely before he can have a legitimate relationship with her.
You could on the other hand...limit contact...rather than encourage the affair by entertaining double dates...just break off contact until the affair loses steam...and it will...
If you talk to anyone...talk the the lecherous man...let him know, beyond doubt, that your loyalty is to the wife - not him.
Good luck - it's a sticky situation that damns you either way...
sometimes no decision can be a good decision.
2006-09-03 11:10:09 · answer #3 · answered by Warrior 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First stop the double dating. Tell your bf straight, you don't want to be part of this scenario and also tell your best friend too. Steer well away from your best friend and lover - someone is going to end up getting very hurt and you don't want to be around when that happens.
2006-09-03 11:06:55 · answer #4 · answered by Ya-sai 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should confront the friend about her behavior. It is apparent that she does not care what you think b/c she is out in the open with hers. If you are scared of confronting her, just decline all invitations with her when double dating with the other man. It depends on her behavior and who all knew about her activites with the other man, I would send her husband an anymous note. Also, talk to your boyfriend suggest that he also cut contact with the couple.
2006-09-03 11:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by nene 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you two should start shining them on and avoid them, maybe they will get the hint that it isn't cool to be sleazy.
if you like hanging out with sleazy people then I guess who cares.
it's a very complicated situation, do you need that kind of drama
in a friendship? if you didn't know it would be one thing, but the fact that you know makes it too slimy. I'd just say I'm busy for the next few months and stay clear of them.
you need new, higher quality friends.
if they are all into open relationships that is different, but by the way you are putting this it sounds like stinking cheating.
move on and take your boyfriend with you before he begins to think that you wouldn't mind if he were to do the same thing.
you have morals, good for you:)))
2006-09-03 11:06:36 · answer #6 · answered by rooster2381 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
whatever you do, don't get into the middle of it. The guy has been cheating on his wife for a while...she should know that he's a jerk. If it really bothers you tell your bf that you're not going to support her behavior anymore. That you love her but you can't stand to see her doing something so destructive. Let her know that you won't be participating in these foursome outings anymore... she's on her own.
2006-09-03 11:08:45 · answer #7 · answered by jealous of the moon 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should just stay out of it but you do not have to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. It is obvious you do not feel good going out with your friend and her married lover so I suggest declining double dates with them. Let her know why you decline. You do not need to feel uncomfortable because your friend has little or no morals!
2006-09-03 11:09:36 · answer #8 · answered by strawberries 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
why would you wanna be friends with someone who sleeps with married men. seems to me you might wanna watch her around your own man. you should dump all of the them, the lame friend and the friend who's husband cheats on her. if she knows and allows it, what does that say about her. get a new set of pals. ones you can trust.
2006-09-03 11:09:44 · answer #9 · answered by sue man 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question, "you tolerate the situation".
With his track record I can see how that happened.
From your question, I see you are not comfortable with it.
Convey that to your bf. If he cares about you, he won't put you in that situation anymore. You two stay neutral & enjoy each other.
Your boyfriend can do other things with his best friend.
2006-09-03 11:26:59 · answer #10 · answered by wenonah 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋