how to deal with a alcholic husband?

Answer 1

It's so easy for others to say, "tell him to quit", "make him go to AA", "divorce him".

I was married to one for 17 years. The way I handled it was to become an alcoholic right along with him. It wasn't the right answer to the problem, but it was the only way I could handle it. I'm not sorry I stayed with him. Some days were bad, but most of them were wonderful. He died July 31, 1983, from a misdiagnosed staph infection. One of the last things he said to me before he slipped into a coma was, "Jan, I love you with all my heart. I always have, and I always will." He was an alcoholic, but he was also my soul-mate. Guess that's what makes the decision on how you deal with an alcoholic.

Answer 2

Baby Nicky it depends in many alcholics like I toddk57 was and
have husband cut back on heavy drinking and go to AA meetings it helps

Answer 3

Sucks. i've got been with my under the impression of alcohol husband for 12 long @ss years, so I completely get it. the single element that helped me grew to become into examining all of those stupid alanon books. It makes insanity look greater sane. honestly I only lay low. If he's in a sturdy temper then YAY! If not, screw it. i don't attempt to make sense of it using fact it is not accessible. I anticipate not something and that way I avert the frustration of his mess ups. each and every each and every now and then while i'm rather rather pissed, I write it down, like great terrible stuff, honestly each and every thing that i might say if i grew to become into honestly interior the temper for a around argument. Then I fall down it up and throw it away. this is totally healing? sturdy success

Answer 4

Using booze or drugs to excess is being unfaithful. Yes, that usually implys sex, but when a married person does ANYTHING, knowing it harms the marital unit- it IS being unfaithful. What exactly is done that's harmful can be almost anything. Sex, drugs, infidelity, excessive shopping, blowing money, putting family before spouse, overeating, or even getting hung up on sports or soap operas. ANYTHING done, knowing it hurts the marriage, is wrong. I fail to understand why labeling something with a title like, alchoholism, drug dependancy, compulsive gambling, or sports nut changes or excuses putting ANYTHING ahead of the marriage. A person who can't handle drinking, shouldn't drink. When they CHOOSE booze over the marriage, give them the booze, and end the marriage. A marriage requires that both members work together toward whatever goal both share. It's like paddling a canoe. Unless both are paddling in the same direction- you aren't going to get anywhere. Don't make excuses for his refusing to paddle toward your goal.

Answer 5

ideas to slow down the drinking or make them quit:

1-once he pops the top, and then puts it down to talk, grab it, and pour it out. - this method worked for me with my man. he has slowed down alot, costs him too much money

2-silent treatment. three days of ignoring them and avoiding them, they are wanting to cry and please your every need and want- this method worked for my sister in law, cause my brother was drinking and going out.

3-give them air- they will reach a point where they just don't feel the need for it- worked for my dad. he retired in august two years ago, bought the RV and all, and bought a case of beer for the trip, well he realized his had no more stress from work, so he only drank 3 out of it, and when him and my step mom go out now, he just drinks coke or coffee, and even though she still drinks, he isn't tempted.

I hope this helps. If my dad could quit, then anyone can. My dad used to keep a permanent keg stand in his outdoor kitchen and refill it once a week, and he jsut quit.

Answer 6

if he's a happy drunk be patient with him and he can come to his sences. My husband of 1 yr quit drinkin on his own after drinking 14 years. but always remember, you can never change a man he has to change hisself and nagging just makes him want to drink more. I know it is hard but if you really love him be patient and encouraging. On the other hand if he is an angry drunk then leave him NOW, why put yourself through that kind of heartache.

Answer 7

If he's abusive leave him. My mother had an alcoholc man living with her and he was physically, verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive as well and she took it for years. I have yet to speak with my mother because she put him first and her children second. I would tell him to get help or leave him.

Answer 8

You separate from him until he decides he loves you more than his alcohol. You can beg, cry and he will promise to change and nothing changes. he needs to make that decision, you do not need to be around him especially if you have kids.

Answer 9

Let him know it's affecting you, and he needs to do something about it, or you might have to change the dynamic of the relationship... ie divorce, couples counseling, AA intervention...

Answer 10

YOU CAN DEAL WITH SO LONG IF YOUR LIFE IS NOT GOING NO WERE THEM TIME TO MOVE ON BECAUSE HE WILL NOT STOP THEN WHY SHOULD YOU GET HURT TO CUT YOUR LIFE SHORT WHEN THAR ARE A LOT OF GOOD MEN OUT TH AIR GOOD LUCK TO YOU