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Help, she is driving me nuts. She was living with a married man, and he went back to his wife. She is in denial that he obviously loves this woman and wants to keep his family intact. All she talks about is him. No matter what the conversation. I have told her yes, he said he loved you but he is in love with his wife. In fact I have gotten downright nasty to her trying to jolt her into a reality check, i.e. telling her he IS sleeping with her, stop calling him he obviously does not want to speak to you or he would call. We have all been hurt , but life goes on and i can not get it through her thick skull. Even his mother has talked to her and said get on with your life, although she says she said to wait, which i know she did not , so HELP before i jump out of the chair and choke her.

2006-09-03 02:28:57 · 6 answers · asked by vivib 6 in Society & Culture Other - Society & Culture

6 answers

Oh, dear.

Here's my only suggestion, which comes of a half-century of watching people make fools of themselves..and, sometimes, being a fool myself:

You're older than she is, and you need to be stronger than she is. Do NOT re-inforce this girl's fascination with this man by even discussing him. Every time she brings up the topic (which, I suspect, is every 15 minutes), leave the room. I'm serious as church. Literally turn your back and (this is the key point) say NOTHING.

As you know, to young people, even negative attention is attention, and your goal (may you reach it soon!) is to extinguish this ugly interest.

By REFUSING to acknowledge it, she will eventually get the message that it's an unwelcome topic at home.

This will be very hard for you to do, because you will have to be unfailingly reliable in your reaction. But, you're the more experienced woman, and this will give you strength.

What you will be doing is a kind of Behavior Modification technique; because people need attention, she will eventually turn to other subjects, at least when she is around you.

In time, she will stop being such a fool, but I truly believe, if you can absolutely banish mention of this person, it will speed up the girl's recovery time.

I sure wish you the best of luck. Be tough, because the girl needs it.

2006-09-03 02:59:49 · answer #1 · answered by silvercomet 6 · 1 0

WTF

Does this girl not know that guys are @ssholes?

I am willing to bet that she isn't gonna stop until she has caused a problem for the wife involved.... kind of like, I can't be happy so she isn't either! With that said... sit her and make her watch the movie "fatal attraction"... looks like that's where she is going!

2006-09-03 09:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by melting-pot-mutt 2 · 0 0

Suggest she talk to a mental health professional, or take her there yourself. She needs to find out why her self esteem is so low that she thinks she is worthy of being used and discarded by someone elses husband.

She also sounds dangerously obsessed and probably stalking him. Get her help before she hurts someone.

2006-09-03 09:42:36 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0 0

You don't say how old these people are. But, I would venture to say that they are all old enough to know better. Has your step daughter heard of stalking??? He has a right to his own life that he has chosen, and your step daughter the same, also, she does need to realize that she needs to move on as well!!! Have you suggested counselling to her. That would probably help!!! Good Luck to her and yourself as well.

2006-09-03 09:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by winona e 5 · 0 0

Sorry about that Vivib. Set rules: let her know that you had told her about your thoughts about the matter. If she insists on talking about it, please let her know that you will leave the conversation and do so. Hopefully she will learn.

2006-09-03 09:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by tranquil 6 · 0 0

you cant tell someone that and force them to listen they decide to move on in their own time, your being downright cruel, and insensitive. Maybe you should mind your own dam business and worry bout yo husband.

2006-09-03 09:37:15 · answer #6 · answered by Lauren 1 · 0 1

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