i feel like i am partly a five year old and pratly a forty year old trapped in a sixteen year olds body, and it is really unfortunate.right now, i need help with my forty year old side.
my friend since kindergarden has grown into the typical american teen(partying,materialistic, must be a size two to be beautiful blah blah blah) and i just don't have fun, feel comfortable around her, or like i can relate to her anymore. i don't want to lose her friendship because she has always been a part of my life and i know eventually she will grow out of this, but until then, i don't know what to do with her! does anyone have any ideas on how i can sustain our friendship through this stage of our lives??
2006-09-03 01:35:45 · 12 answers · asked by chikka 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I have friends who have been around for years, I have acquaintances, and I have people in my life who I'd rather not have but I'm too nice to dodge them or their calls.
What I have tried to do - and I am 48 years old - is stop and acknowledge my needs and my wants and how others impact me and my goals.
My advice to you is now that you recognize you've grown in different directions, don't worry about it - you can still be friends but perhaps just not to the same degree. This doesn't mean you stop your friendship, it means you're currently in different zones.
Your friend is in a zone that is somewhat in opposition to your values and your goals. Be respectful of her thoughts and feelings, but if she should ask you to be with her when she is engaged in partying or materialistic behaviour, don't judge, just decline the offer. It is who she is and what's important to her is not necessarily important to you. e.g., if she wants to go shopping and you don't enjoy her kind of shopping just say no thank you, I don't enjoy shopping without a focus...or I don't enjoy shopping (if you don't truly enjoy it.).
I have some really, really wonderful girlfriends and I cannot say who is my "best" friend as each brings with her a completely different type of friendship.
Put your energy into developing yourself and let your girlfriend develop herself as she sees fit.
With time she may come around to thinking less about materialism, looks, boys, etc., but then again she may not. That's ok, but that's not you.
Grow, learn and experience and after a while your friend may see that she's stagnant and in need of an overhaul.
You may also want to be the one to introduce your world. Expose her to culture to experience, to learning and to things outside her zone - if she doesn't respond then at least you tried.
This is not about her, this is about you. You sound mature and have a solid head on your shoulders - don't feel guilty for being different from your friend.
Good Luck!
2006-09-03 02:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by MillwoodsGal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friends don't have to agree on everything. Trust and love are the most important things. Are there still things you both enjoy doing together? Invite her to do those things. She may actually be able to give you advice in an area that isn't as important to you, so you didn't learn as much about it someday... and vice versa... You may not stay as close as you've been in the past... Anyone you love and can trust is a true, special friend though... That won't change if you both make the effort.
Some people like your friend never change. Live how you believe is right. You can explain your beliefs and feelings without being pushy. Maybe she'll want her life to be more like yours someday.
2006-09-03 01:46:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate. Im from the Philippines and my best friend since birth and i are totally growing apart. Shes in colle now and im in High school. We went to the mall and try to remember things that had some impact on our friendship...boys, school, everything. We had lots of fun
2006-09-03 01:44:18 · answer #3 · answered by ellivamzerefla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are a loving, caring and possibly a person that loves our Lord and tries to follow a life that has been designed by Him for us.
All you can do is to continue to love your friend and to continue to live your life in a sensible and Godly way. Continue to show your friend that you can have fun by living this kind of lifestyle and that the partying and all is only a fleeting pleasure compared to the ultimate pleasure of being with our Lord and Savior after we die, as well as living a life for Him while here on earth.
If you continue to be that one stable point in her life then she will eventually come to realize that there is something to it. Be there for her when she falls, catch her and help her to her feet and then guide her in the right direction.
Good luck to you and your friend, a prayer is being said for you and her.
2006-09-03 01:41:10 · answer #4 · answered by wetsaway 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is widen your circle of friends. Find people who can relate to the older side of you, and I don't mean start hanging out with adults or older guys or anything like that!!! But make sure you make time for the childhood friends too. When you feel like doing something girly or silly, hang out with your friend, and when you feel like doing other stuff, do it with people who enjoy more 'grown up' things too.
2006-09-03 01:40:53 · answer #5 · answered by Red. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im a bit like your friend but every teen goes through that just you havnt gone thorough that stage yet, you might feel more mature than your friend but if i were u i would talk to her about it i mean, if u really dont like being around her then find new friends but keep your friendship with your friend...i mean if you went through some stage and your friend wasnt, wouldnt you want your friend to stick by your side?well i would, if i were you i would just talk to her about it you wont loose anything ggud luck though
2006-09-03 01:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by Dana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you value her friendship you will have patience with her. She can't help being the typical teen any more than you can help
being more mature. Having true friends in a blessing.
2006-09-03 01:41:08 · answer #7 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know where you're coming from... I felt older than my years too... I think the best thing to do is to let her have her fun, because there's bound to be a time when things are going to go badly, and if you're there for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on, you'll be closer than ever...
2006-09-03 01:44:28 · answer #8 · answered by nikkoj1975 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don`t you join her .
Keeping young means thinking young .
Just because we age ,that doesn`t mean we have to act like old obnoxious farts.
Live ,Love and be happy.
2006-09-03 01:39:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely she is not your ''only'' friend???
If you are not on the same page as her, try distancing yourself without losing her, otherwise prepare for a life of misery....
2006-09-03 01:38:04 · answer #10 · answered by Ralph G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋