I'm currently involved with this guy whom I like very much and do hope for a serious relationship with in the future. Two days ago I told him I went running with a male friend of mine, and he came over afterwards to take a shower at my place because it was more convenient for him to shower at my place rather then go shower home and come back since we were going out later to meet some other friends to hang out. This guy as much like all my other male friends has no interest in me nor I have any interest in him in any romantic or sexual way. As soon as I told him he really got upset and didn’t like the idea of me hanging out with guys alone or this guy taking a shower at my place.
There was really nothing going on and nothing he should worry about .Shouldn’t he trust me enough???? Shouldn’t he be secure enough????? I'm I wrong and totally seeing it in a weird way...or is he being over sensitive and over protective??
2006-09-02 23:30:23 · 17 answers · asked by blacktears2006 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes it is important for him to trust you. However most guys just dont like the ideal at all. I can see your point of view as well as his. He haves a right to get upset about the guy taking a shower in you house. (kinda) However for him to NOT want you to even be alone with the guy thats wrong of him. You said the guys is your friend he needs to respect that and trust you.
Would you be mad if he told you that he let some women take a shower at his place?
2006-09-02 23:36:11 · answer #1 · answered by larrys_babygurl_4life 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sin is a christian thought that i don't purchase into. Now, i'm getting human beings all day at artwork who prefer to do and say stupid issues just to be certain the reaction. i don't understand if its a *sin* even though it is going to rather get them a punch interior the mouth it is karma/reason&effect. If the only reason is to piss human beings off then extra advantageous than something you're doing your self incorrect through fact at last its going to a come again to you. in case you bypass around hurting emotions all day faster or later no one will come close to you. you will walk right into a room and the speaking will end, human beings will go away, and you will not understand what's happening. you would be like a rolling stone. There must be some style of rationalization for the insanity. in case you prefer to marvel human beings out of complacency and get them questioning then each and every now and additionally then you definitely've have been given to throw ice down some shirts, yet whilst the only purpose (and purpose is each and every thing) is to basically make human beings mad then i could say its *sin*.
2016-11-24 19:35:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
\Turn your question around. Would you be OK it a lady friend took a shower at his house. You will probably say , that it would be OK, because , you want him to say its OK for you. But trust me. I don't care what kind of friend. If you are in a relationship and it means something to you. then its not OK. EVER. If you feel that he is insecure then talk to him. If you have this happen often and truly don't see anything wrong then, find a happy medium and offer to leave the house til he is done. But honestly, its not about trusting or being insecure or sensitive or even over protective. IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT.
2006-09-03 00:29:31 · answer #3 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, so you brought another rooster into the hen house. Well you know that serious relationship in the future you were hoping for?
It's here! And quite sudden. The territorial beast has reared it's
primal head from the deep dark unconscious. Trust? Sure on his terms. Secure? No-o-o-o way. Men are seldom secure unless they are in control. And that means to control the henhouse. As innocent as it may seem to you this is blowing one fragile ego helter-skelter. If you don't already know it you've become his property. If you have considered it, consider the possibilities in the future of this type of arrangement, not only with this "guy whom you like very much," but with any other "roosters" you may have close encounters with.
2006-09-03 00:36:20 · answer #4 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not an over reaction, it is a simple primal reaction, unfortunately, women have done much better over the course of evolutionary adjustments than men have. I say this with the utmost honor and respect for women, but you are a possession, ( in a way ) to a male, you are the one he has chosen form the tribe, or from the region, to be with, and so when another male invades or occupies the space that your mate has declared as his, then it is an infringement upon his property, ( again please property is said in the most basic term, but with the utmost honor and respect ) and so he feels deep down inside that he risks losing you to another male, heck back then they would just engage in to the death fighting, or dueling, or any number of other ways in order to maintain possession. We ( men ) have not adjusted very well through the evolutionary development over thousands of years, no matter how hard we try to show that we are so much better then primal man, in the end, the basic concepts of man, food, shelter, protection, and sex were the 4 things that man was driven by.... and to this day, those drives are still just as strong
2006-09-02 23:45:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Black tears, You need to kick his a s s to the hub, and i am so glad you are founding out early in yout relationship how he really is.He has no trust at all and if you stay with him,get will get alot worse.And if your marry this guy,he won't let you do anything and keep your friends alway from you.Sweety i know how it is.I marry a guy just like the guy you have right now and it is aliving HELL.They have no trust at all and without trust you cannot have a happy relationship.I stay with this bastard for 30 yrs. and he made me feel like i was no good for anyone but him.I let this bastard and file for a divorce(this year) and it will be final oct.12,2006.I my not have much,but i am happy now and feel good about myself.So please be smart and walk away while you can.
Clowmy
2006-09-02 23:47:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you do if he desided to go running with a hot chick? Then to rub it in some more he invited her over to take a shower, even though they are just friends. You are very wrong. If you really liked that guy you would back off from the guy friends and not do those types of things.
2006-09-03 01:00:59 · answer #7 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is overreacting and has a lack of trust in you and until he gets his issues under control, he's not going to believe a word u say. So consider this as an early sign. If u are hoping for a long term relationship with this guy (even marriage) this is something u may have to deal with in the future.
2006-09-03 00:23:27 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, you have just learned your first lesson in how much you tell the opposite sex. Not telling you to be deceitful by any means. But nearly 27 yrs of marriage there is still stuff I can not tell hubby, a joke, or polite compliment, men get jelous, that is just the way they are wired! Men don't understand we women can have a guy friend with no sex involved. Cause thats all they think about! Let it die down w/ the boyfriend and remember less is best.
2006-09-02 23:37:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right and he is over-reacting. As the relationship is in its early stages its best that you lay your hand on the table and explain your friends are just that, friends. They are always going to be part of your life and if there is to be a relationship he will have to accept that. If you do otherwise you run the risk of him thinking that if he can control this situation he can control others. That would eventually lead to some kind of abusive relationship.
2006-09-02 23:38:49 · answer #10 · answered by bob kerr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋