I've been in an on-off relationship for 5 years or so, and I really, really love this guy. He's also my best friend and the absolute greatest friend I have had in my life...like my other half. I have not had sex with him yet, and he's been waiting, but I haven't felt turned on by him.
What's odd is he's actually very good looking: he's 6'4", blue eyes, brown hair, fit, (rated 9.5 on hotornot.com hehe), but I haven't been turned on by him. I love him so much, but I'm scared about the lack of sexual chemistry.
What would you do?
2006-09-02 22:36:39 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yep, I am a virgin....
2006-09-02 22:42:44 · update #1
Also, I'm somewhat confused about my sexual orientation, and he knows it. I might be bisexual or lesbian, and I'm not sure.....he knows though.
I'm just scared of losing my virginity thus far.
2006-09-02 22:43:21 · update #2
Jessica: Well, he's lacking in ambition, and I have too much ambition. He's more into (ahem) recreational drugs than sex....
2006-09-02 22:45:07 · update #3
Usually I do not answer these types of questions, but I am intrigued by yours, so I will attempt it.
Sometimes we are afraid of taking the next step especailly with somebody as close as your best friend. He is attractive but you cannot see yourself actually making love with him. It could be because you are afraid of dissappointment.
Either his or yours and when that happens it is like a house of cards; it will all crumble to the ground, and then there is a possibility that things will never, can never be the way they were before the bite of apple has been taken.
Often a guy could only "wait" for so long...just like a girl. There is an amount of time that one invests into a relationship and then if nothing happens....somebody else will enter the picture and will be willing to take it to the next level and you will become history.
It seems you do not want that to happen, that you have an "investment" in this person. So, take the next level slow...start with a hug and kiss on the cheek. Hold hands when walking. Picture him...in your mind before you sleep...sleeping next to you.
Making love....why do we put so much importance to it? It has gotten you thinking about it too much instead of doing it.
I truly believe that once you allow the steps to happen...it will flow naturally...that you will become excited and when it has happenned, wonder why you waited so long.
Passion, is waiting....it is there, silently on haunches, waiting for the fog of indecision to lift, then springing into action.
You won't lose him, you will draw him to you, it is the next step, take it before somebody else does.
2006-09-02 22:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by Dave 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think sexual chemistry is very important ... in fact, I have a hard time seeing how romantic love could exist without it. I'm not sure if a guy could have sexual chemistry with you and not be aware of it, I'd be more likely to say that either he's attracted to you or he's not.
2016-03-27 05:11:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it because you are afraid to ruin the great relationship you have now? Are you a virgin? Have you been intimate at all with this man? These are all things that can affect your feelings towards him. Everyone is nervous their first time with someone, and you don't want to ruin it, but if they are truly into you and really love you, then they will forgive any awkwardness, and you may find that once you start, you will feel that sexual chemistry stir up, but that your other emotions had been blocking it previously. If it is true love, which is what really matters, you will be able to overcome this obstacle, and you will find that this won't be a problem down the road.
2006-09-02 22:42:04 · answer #3 · answered by ALFimzadi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you love him but are not in love with him.
An on and off relationship for five years? I'd say it's time to on it or off it. Remain friends and find someone you can have a complete relationship with because obviously he's getting the sex part somewhere else.
A hot guy waiting five years for a girl to have sex?? I doubt it.
2006-09-02 22:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex has nothing to do with Love. lf you Love him and you Love being with him why do you feel you need to have sexual chemistry.l'm in an asexual relationship and having the best time l've ever had with anyone. So what who needs sex.Sex is just a few minutes of you time.You need to be happy and Loved all the rest of your time and sex has nothing to do with that.
2006-09-02 22:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by catsclaw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a chance, make some chemistry. You may find out that it's a good thing that should have happened years ago!
2006-09-02 22:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... have sex with him. Goodness. Give him some and see what happens. Use protection. Maybe your chemitray just need a catalyst.
2006-09-02 22:39:35 · answer #7 · answered by Roger S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find what I love about him. When that attractive guy comes around, I'll be sure of the love that I want.
2006-09-02 23:00:19 · answer #8 · answered by Sweeble 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u cant a lose a friend easily but u can lose a lover, so keep friends, cuz u already not turned on so why take the risk of losing it all...if he is that hot just be proud that he is ur friend...
2006-09-02 22:40:44 · answer #9 · answered by smousa2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay friendly with him and keep him as your intellectual stimulant. Enjoy life.
2006-09-02 22:42:49 · answer #10 · answered by dolce4all 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋