is it true that if you were never shown affection as a child and were abused you cannot love anyone?

Question

i doubt every person who was abused as a child turns out to be serial killer... :)

Wolf-i don't think it was that extreme..as a punishment i was locked in a dark shed and when that wasn't available a closet, and as for the physical abuse lets just say it started out with belts then moved on to a wooden bat, also i suffered a major concussion at the age of 7 from being picked up and slammed on a concrete floor, took two weeks to recover and i could go on and on..

thanks everyone for your answers :)

Answer 1

One of your answerer's said as you get older you learn to love, generally speaking that is not true. What actually tends to happen is that abused children who were never the less loved can and do grow up to be capable of loving others.

A child will thrive under the most trying conditions as long as it is loved. A child that is not loved will normally grow up being incapable of loving others. Such a child however, often learns very quickly how to act the part of a normal human being, that is why many children who grew up unloved will come across as very pleasant people until they are firmly in a relationship and then their true colours show, they turn on their partners and or children.

Many of you out there will not understand this but those of you who have been unfortunate enough to have had a relationship with a partner who was unloved as a child will instantly know and understand the truth I speak.

In conclusion, it is being loved that is essential and all important to a growing child, even more important than being free from abuse or neglect in many cases.

Answer 2

My childhood was similar to "say waut" . I have many brothers and sisters some of us function some of us don't. It depends on what lessons you take from the experience. At an early age I learned the rest of the world didn't live like we did. Some of us have formed long loving relationships with our spouses and children some of us haven't. One thing We find helpful, once a year the functioning ones of us gather around a campfire and talk into the night. Our spouses listen for as long as they can when they get overwhelmed they leave and go have a good cry. But this is our reality and we have to deal with it in our own way. There are still some things I fear, and even my adult children don't know the whole story. My husband had a hard time believing some of it till he heard it from my Sib's. I hope you have a brother or sister who knows how it was [and admits it] stay close to them and together you can help each other. Yes you can love it is the deepest part of being human! Remember that " What ever does not kill you makes you stranger!"

Answer 3

If your parents kept you in a closet and fed you only food and misery all your growing years then yes you'd be a completely malfunctioning human being, functioning sociopath at best but more likely unable to socialize because of a fundamental inability to understand empathy compassion or kindness. However more likely that your parents loved you just not as much as you wish they did, which is also bad but rarely very dangerous for you. If it really bugs you look into therapy

Answer 4

Nope. You as a child learn to love and depend on a person, be it your parents or whatever guardian. A child grows into an adult and may remain forever loving to that person and still be seeking 'love' in return. A person will seek it again and again and again just as water, sleep, food or any other necessary nourishment. Some may avoid it to their eventual detriment.

Answer 5

No that isn't true. As you got older you would learn to love

Answer 6

its a theory that goes along the lines of nature vs nurture.

Answer 7

probably. that's why there are serial killers.very few of those people had a good childhood

Answer 8

not necessarily. you can learn from your experience. know that it wasnt your fault. know that if you choose to be different you can be. learn and live. live and learn.

Answer 9

Only if you let it.