I am a lesbian, and I choose not to date women with kids. It has nothing to do with the fact that they were once living the straight life, or that they might be bi, but because I don't have any kids so I prefer women with no kids.Actually, a woman could have a child within a lesbian relationship and she and her partner broke up, but I still wouldn't date her. I know a lot of women feel that they had to be straight and conceived children in the process or before they realized they were gay, and also that some bi women have children but decide that they only want to date women long term. It would be different if I had kids, then I wouldn't mind dating a mother. But I don't, so I tend to stay away from them. Also, I want my first child to be with my future wife after I settle down. I would want us to have that first child experience together after we get married.Plus, I do not have time for ex-husband/wife, baby mama/baby daddy drama. Is this selfish?
2006-09-02 20:19:37 · 13 answers · asked by indrep33 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I never said that I didn't want kids in the future, because I definitely do. But I don't have any now, and so I don't want to date anyone who does.
2006-09-04 17:57:02 · update #1
I don't think that it is selfish at all. With the sort of feelings that you have about getting into a relationship with someone who has children, it would probably be unfair for the woman who does. She would probably have to choose between her children and you. And that WOULD be selfish. I think that it is excellent to know what your priorities are and to be honest about them. I personally don't want children. I can't see myself getting into a relationship with someone who has them. I want to be with someone who likes to travel and do all the sorts of things that children would get in the way of. If he was already burdened with children, I would probably have little interest in the guy unless I was sexually attracted to him. But then it would just be sex and nothing else.
2006-09-02 21:06:49 · answer #1 · answered by The Dark Adonis 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I would date somebody like that...but it wouldn't be my first choice. I understand what you're saying. But I guess it depends on how much you like, and in time love that person. And then it depends on how the marriage ended and how they are dealing with being divorced and having kids together. Some couples handle it pretty well and the kids are pretty well adjusted. For many other couples, it's a mess, and daddy's or mommy's gay lover would just add to the mess.
2006-09-03 01:37:30 · answer #2 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not selfish at all, in fact I am the same way. I ended up in a relationship not knowing that my partner has children and that was the end of that passion. I don't want to date anyone with kids because they get it the way of a relationship.
2006-09-04 15:11:59 · answer #3 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not selfish, everyone haves a right to their personal perferences. I think its great you are honest about how you feel about getting into or in your case not getting into relationship with people who have kids.
I am 19/f/ and im married, im also bi, my husband is 36 he haves 2 boys ages 8 and 13 from his ex wife. We have the kids she dont want nothing to do with them. So I dont have to deal with her drama and would not deal with her drama.
2006-09-02 20:26:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough one, personally I try my best to stay away from bisexual women. And although you may be only into women having children screams bisexual. I eventually would like kids but i dont know if i could get down with a woman that has kids. But i'm thinking if I really liked her then it wouldnt matter
2006-09-02 22:46:07 · answer #5 · answered by angelajock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't selfish....it's just your personal preference. But suppose you met the love of your life and she happened to have kids? I think you might find that you would find a way through your feelings about the kids.
You can't govern, and you don't know....what's round the corner....
2006-09-02 20:40:08 · answer #6 · answered by lou b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if its selfish but it is limiting. I think I am a great person and would make a loving and faithful girlfriend but I have four kids so someone like you would never get to know me at all.
2006-09-02 21:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by Lara C. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would like children in general. If it so happened to be from a previous relationship, I doubt it would bother me. For the most part we love our companions no matter what may come.
2006-09-03 11:13:41 · answer #8 · answered by yokaimayhem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think it is perfectly fine and I admire your honesty. I think it would be much more selfish if you had a child or tried to raise a child that you didn't want. Plenty of people are childless by choice, or childfree.
2006-09-03 19:00:55 · answer #9 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO ITS NOT SELFISH. BUT MY GIIRLFRIEND OF ALMOST A YEAR WAS PREACHING THE SAME SONG BEEFORE AND WHEN WE MET.
I TOLD HER 3 WEEKS AFTER WE MET I HAD A 3YEAROLD AND THAT WE CAN JUST BE FRIENDS IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE SCENARIO. AT FIRST SHE WAS COOL AND WE WERE FRIENDS. EVEN TO THIS DAY SHE IS HIGHLY ATTRACTED TO ME. BUT I STARTED TALKING TO HER WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS AROUND AND WHEN I HAD HER ON HOLD TO GO CHEECK ON MY MEAL MY BABY PICKED UP THE PHONE AND STARTED TALKING.
ME AND MY BABY MOVED HERE ABOUT SIX MONTHS AGO AND THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME THEY SEEN EACHOTHER AND IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. THEY'RE INSEPERABLE.
SO HONEY, YOU NEVER KNOW
2006-09-02 21:34:39 · answer #10 · answered by datcreekgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋