I'M 19 YEARS OLD AND MY BOYFRIEND OF 4 YEARS AND 3 MONTHS ASKED TO MARRY ME. I SAID YES OF COURSE BECAUSE WE ARE IN SO MUCH LOVE, BUT THE THING IS THAT HE WANTS TO START A FAMILY RIGHT AWAY, LIKE IN NOVEMBER. WE HAD A MISCARRIAGE IN APRIL, IT WAS AN UNPLANNED PREGNANCY BUT WERE BOTH ESTATIC BECAUSE IT WAS US. I WANT TO START A FAMILY TOO BUT I'M SECOND GUESSING IT, I WANT TO START IN NOV. BUT I STAT COLLEGE IN JANURARY. I'M STUCK IN THE MIDDLE. CAN I PLEASE HAVE HELPFUL ADVICE AND NO JUDGEMENTAL ANSWERS.
2006-09-02 20:12:10 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
AFTER THE MISCARRIAGE WE HAVE BEEN TRYING BUT NOT SUCCESFULL. I WAS WORRIED THAT I COULDN'T GET PREGNANT.
2006-09-02 20:15:35 · update #1
I WANT TO HAVE A BABY AS WELL BUT I'M NOW THINKING ABOUT SCHOOL. I WANT A BABY REALLY BAD THOUGH BUT LIKE I SAID I'M STUCK IN THE MIDDLE.
2006-09-02 20:18:40 · update #2
MY SISTER IS 6MTHS PREGNANT NOW AND DOING UNIVERSITY, IT WONT STOP YOU JUST DONT PARTY AND HANG OUT JUST STUDY HARD. AND WHEN YOU ARE CLOSE TO DUE DATE TAKE SOME TIME TO REST....IT CAN BE DONE, IF YOU WANT A FAMILY AND ARE STABLE ENOUGH YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, I HAVE 3 SONS (1 DECEASED AT 1 DAY OLD) 2 STILL WITH ME, AND I AM DOING SCHOOL RIGHT NOW...I PLAN ON STARTING A 4 YEAR PROGRAM, AND HAVING ANOTHER BABY IN 1>2 YEARS, I AM WAITING SINCE MY YOUNGEST SON RIGHT NOW IS ONLY 7MTHS OLD AS OF TODAY......I THINK YOU COULD SUCCEED. YOU SEEM WILLING TO SACRAFICE AND WORK HARD FOR IT....I DONT KNOW YOU BUT I BELIEVE IN YOU......GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS ONCE YOU CONCIEVE, MY BABIES ARE MY LIFE YOU WILL NEVER REGRET A CHILD!!!
2006-09-02 20:19:28 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Hi! Well i am now 21 with an 11 month old baby boy called Jordan. I fell pregnant when i was 19 and it was a planned one aswell. Let me tell you that it is the best experience of your life. Your whole world revolves around your baby from the moment you find out you are pregnant. I have not one bad thing to say about being pregnant -apart from the morning sickness for 3-4 months, for me anyway! and even labor i look back on with excitement. Such a rush holding your baby for the first time and the bond you feel. The other side to the whole thing though is that once you do have a baby your life is changed forever, more than you would probably expect anyway. There is no more free time, no more of your OWN time, no more partying, no more anything that involves being alone. and no more days with nothing to do. It is 24/7 and it is a full time job *with benefits* on its own. Have a big think before you jump into it, you do have plenty of time left in you to start a family and although my baby is the best thing that has ever happened to me, it is something you can never turn back on. It is a forever thing. But they are beautiful. Im sure you will be happy if you do happen to fall pregnant. You wouldnt swap them for the world once you have them! Good luck with everything!
2006-09-03 09:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by Jordy[♥] 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are stuck in the middle, I would suggest waiting to have kids. It's not a bad thing to want to achieve certain goals before you start a family. In the end, it will be better for the kids as you will most likely be better prepared financially.
Being unsure of things, if you begin having kids now, college will be much more difficult for you. I think perhaps deep down, you would like to wait. Don't be down about that though. Having kids is a 24 hour a day job for a lifetime. Once you start, you can't change your mind again. It shouldn't be something to be taken lightly. People who have kids without consideration for the future usually end up with a lot of regrets.
Surely your boyfriend will understand if you want to finish college first.
2006-09-03 03:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by antijihad2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BeautyJ24, you must be pretty beautiful! Well, Judith is right in her observations and suggestions. Adding to that, it is better for you to get married after you finish college and find a job. You have to make your BF understand the advantages of doing so. It is not clear what his educational or career status is. Maybe, he should also equip himself well before marrying and establishing a family. And, then, after marriage you two can discuss and decide about having a child or children. Until then, be wise not to get pregnant again - it may not be good to your health and education. As for your last miscarriage and its possible effect on your reproductive ability, you can consult a doc and get professional help. Be wise and be positive! Don't throw away your tomorrow! Plan well! Good luck!
PS: Please don't use all CAPS in writing your question or additional details. It seems it is against the Yahoo-Answers policy and it is considered rude too!
2006-09-03 03:29:34 · answer #4 · answered by Sami V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First things first: Will you be able to stay home with this baby for several years so it gets wha it needs from you? Or, will having the baby now condemn it to the agony of day care?
On the whole, people are better parents when they are older and have some experience, patience, and realistic ideas about child development.
Since you want to go to school, you should not have a child now. Your child will need your undivided attention for many years. Being a college student doesn't mix well with that. In college, you should be delving into yourself, focusing on yourself. You can't do that properly when your first obligation is to your baby.
2006-09-03 03:27:47 · answer #5 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey...u r way too young to start a family..u r not even considered as an adult yet my dear.u should be thinking about college and what u want to be in the future.i know u really love this guy a lot but if u r really meant for each other, u will get married to him when the times come.
I have been there myself so i knew..believe me.About the miscarriage..i think it shouldn't affect ur chances of getting pregnant again in the future.However..i hope that u think deeply about this matter as if things turn out bad in the future..there will be innocent child involve if u decide to go on with the marriage n children.Best of luck k.If u wanna ask anything else..just email me.
2006-09-03 05:22:26 · answer #6 · answered by ImInLove 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You wont get a judgemental answer from me lol....I am 19 and my husband is 36 years old we have 2 kids both boys ages 8 and 13. (my step kids) and we plan to have kids soon too.
I would say if you are second guessing your self maybe you are not ready. Give it some more thought and see what you think then if you still want to have a baby now then go for it, if not its ok to wait a little bit too. Maybe you should wait till after you start school. After a few months of school or more if you think you are able to handle school and a baby then try to have a baby.
Hope that helps, if you would like to talk more feel free to contact me on YIM or 360 larrys_babygurl_4life
2006-09-03 03:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I met my husband 16, moved in together at 17, dropped out of school, got married at 18, got pregnant at 19 and again at 21. Needless to say, it's hard to finish school while pregnant and sick every day, hard to do it when you have to stay home and watch your kids (i perfer to raise them myself instead of some daycare). Every year, it seems like something comes up, but it's worse with neither my husband or I being able to get a good paying job because we don't have the right qualifications. I wish we could afford all our bills every month. Your best bet is to enjoy your "party years" so you don't regret giving them up, enjoy getting to know your boyfriend/husband for a few years, so you know each other on a deeper level, and concentrate on school so you will be able to provide the best for your children. Also that gives you some time to save some money, get used to living on a budget, so that when your children come, you will easily be able to pay for all the things that they will need. Either way, do the research on what you will need to pay for for them before you get pregnant. Take into consideration the basics like diapers, clothes(they do grow fast), and baby food, but also extras like toys college funds and medical coverage.
2006-09-03 03:24:59 · answer #8 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you have the time to wait....WAIT... it is not easy having a baby and going to school.. Your whole life is ahead of you ..i think your soon to be child would appreciate it too, to have your full attention when they are born. just put it this way i was 25 in my second year in college and had to take time off because of expenses...daycare 500 month ,diapers 130 month , formula close to 2 to 300 a month..be live me finish school. get a nice career, then have a baby .. I finish school, but it was very very hard...
2006-09-03 03:55:09 · answer #9 · answered by smiley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is tough. College is very important and if your love is strong for one another then it will still be just as strong and real after you graduate. As humans we change so much through our lifetime. So just think about what you wanted 5 years ago. In 10 years it may or may not be the same. You have to look inside yourself on this.
2006-09-03 03:19:59 · answer #10 · answered by Mandy J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋