i don't wannabe sad!?

Question

I'm gay and im only 15. My Family is religous, and they dont agree whit it. My friends dump me coz im a bit "innormal". I have feelings towards guys and none towards wemen. I dont like how the society looks at me and I dont even want to be this way. How will I live to become a father one day. I've been trying to change but somehow i've seen no light. Please tell me how and give advises. I am desperate to discover a happier life.

Answer 1

Don't worry about a thing cause every little thing is gonna be all right...three little birds by your door step...cheer up young man I know how you feel and I feel for you...hope you find the light at the end of the tunnel!!!

Answer 2

Homosexuality is not a disease, and you cannot be "cured" of it, no matter how many people say you can be.

I'm 33 now, but when I was 15 and first began to realize the reality of being gay, I went through a lot of the same emotions you are.Granted, my family wasn't religious and I didn't have to deal with that aspect, but I can still relate.

You have to learn to accept that this is the way you are, and the way that your creator meant you to be. It is not an abomination, and it is not wrong. It is possible for a gay man to lead a completely normal lifestyle, to find someone to love, a place to live, and to raise a family either through adoption or surrogacy. Unfortunately, certian parts of society cannot accept these alternative lifestyles, but on the good side, you probably will never really have to deal with the hatred and scorn homosexuals once did. This country and the world at large is becoming more accepting towards gays and lesbians.

As for the reaction of your parents and friends... well, if you come out to your parents there are likely two scenarios: either they accept it and continue to live life, or they don't and try to convince you that you are not gay. If it is the latter, then my best advice would be to forget about the subject and not bring it up again until you are 18 and/or out of their house. If you go to college after high school, or just move away, I'm sure you will find that in another environment, living as yourself and being who you want to be, people will be more accepting and you will ultimately be happy. As for dealing with your friends, I know it's a cliche, but if your friends can not accept you for who you are, then they weren't good friends to begin with. Make new friends... set up a myspace account, and I'm sure you will find other boys (and girls) in your area who are also gay.

I hope that this helps. Just remember, be safe, and follow your heart. If you need some advice or someone to talk to, send me an email.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Except for the person who answered condemming you for your choice of being gay, I think some good advice has been offered up. Its true that you must make a choice to accept yourself. If you have a strong attraction to guys and none to girls, thats just the way it is. If you work to accept yourself and not work against yourself, you can resolve your situation.
Definitely postpone worrying about how you will be a father. Kids are great, but you shouldn't have any for at least about 5-10 years. Your family is disagreeing with you, but they are not going to totally reject you. Yeah, you're in for a bumpy ride, however, you are probably spending too much worry on how you appear and how people are criticizing you. Maybe they aren't and its mostly in your head. You may be getting into such a negative outlook that you are putting off those negative vibes to others. Or maybe, like you imply, you just haven't found the right friends yet.
Find ways to distract yourself--anything to get your mind off what you think is a big problem. Work out, study schoolwork, or whatever interests you. Getting a job is a good distraction that will bring you more work and life experience as well as allowing you to save some money. Try to turn this around to a positive situation. That probably seems ridiculous, but it can be done. At least one in 20 men feel the same way you do. You have a right to be happy. Neither feeling the way you do, nor acting on those feelings is a sin or immoral. Do not tolerate people who won't tolerate your individuality. You don't have to get in their face, just remind yourself who is feeding you mental wellbeing and who is feeding you psychological poison. Some sadness is a normal part of every person's life. Take up the challenge of discovering the happier life you want. Do not take solace in substance abuse or engage in self-hatred or any other unproductive mental activity.
You can find a boyfriend and a happy life. You are the only person who can take charge of the situation. Find your strength and don't let worrying wear you down.
Read up on what causes social anxiety and depression. Being gay is not the problem here. Your reaction to it is. You said you didn't want to be this way. Few people want to be different. You will make yourself totally miserable if you try to change yourself. If you are *sure* your gay, stop wishing you weren't and move on. Ignore tv, media and society's picture of what happiness is. When you find something that makes you happy, like guys, enjoy it, there is nothing to feel ashamed of. Your sexuality is only part of your life. It doesn't need to be the way you completely define yourself.

Answer 4

This question has been so many times. My heart breaks for young people who are scared to come out.
Contact pflag.com- they're a wonderful nat'l support, educational, advocacy group to help families and friends of GLBT people to deal with the news. They also help GLBTpeople to come out and where to find other support groups. They can help with the religious problem because many of the parents in the group have had to deal with that issue..
Your family doesn't agrre with it because they have been brainwashed from the church . They may learn to accept you or not. That's why gay people stick together - so they can pick their new families.
Forget how society looks at you. They can not live your life. They can not wak in your shoes.
You need to check out gay clubs for young people so you can get the strength inside to deal with your family and others.
Do not be ashamed of who you are. We are special. Whether the rest of society understands or not, we are special. The more you hang out with positive, out, friendly gay teens, the better you will feel about yourself..
I walked in a parade today for a town that didn't know there were any gay people living there. The teen group at the school asked PFLAG to drive a float and we marched with the kids. They were great- 15-17 years old and all with the same issues as yours. I promise it will get better and easier. If you can find other gay people in your school, you should be able to start a club. If not, you can complain. Be strong.
You mentioned being a dad, that's worrying about something rather far in the future. Who knows, by the time you're old enough, you might not even want rug rats! LOL You can still father a child. You might consider adoption too.

ps: innormal isn't a word.. you might be thinking about abnormal.
And you are not abnormal---- well, maybe if you start having sex with chickens or shooting people from the church tower... Love of love. HUGS!.

Answer 5

My dear boy -

There is no good reason to be sad just because you know who you are. To know who you are, at your tender age, is a great blessing and a wonderful opportunity for everyone to know you.

It is unfortunate that you see society looking at you in a way that you don't even want to see yourself. And yet, with your wisdom and desire for happiness, you will soon realise that you don't have to change; you don't have to see 'the light' because you are already 'in' the light, and you will become a father because the goodness of God is in your heart and that is worthy of sharing with a child.

There is no reason to change anything about you; there may be a reason for you to just begin to love and accept yourself - regardless of other opinions.

If it were not for the understanding that you have already received then this question would be a non-issue for you.

Please forgive me for not saying this right.

You are a magnificent gift from heaven. God loves you and so does everyone who truly accepts the goodness of our Lord's creation.

You are a beautiful, loving and vibrant creation of a magnificent God.

I do understand that you see no light. At this point in your life you are feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated. You will find the light in your relationship with you. You will discover a happier life when you begin to understand that you are the most magnificent gift that God could give.

Please, understand that you are good. You are worthy. You are trustworthy. You are a perfect creation. You are a child of God.

Religious parents are not the hope that they should be. Friends who dump you because you are a bit 'innormal' were never friends anyway.
Aquaintences at best.

The best friend you will ever have is you. The only true righteousness you will ever excperience is the righteousness that comes with knowing that you are loved by God and that nothing else really matters.

My dear friend, I don't want you to be sad either. I wish I could give you the understanding that you need right now.

But trust yourself and trust God. You are magnificent.

Answer 6

Honey, just accept you. If you keep going on beating yourself down trying to change who you are, you'll be fighting an uphill battle with 2 broken legs. People will judge, people will hate, but there's some people out there who will love you as you are. You'll find your way, no matter where it takes you. If you want to be a father, you can adopt, or there's always a willing girl and a turkey baster. It sounds sad, but give it time and you'll find that being you is far better than being something your family can live with.

Answer 7

Since you come from a religious background, I'll give you some good news. God still loves you!
He created you in His own image, and that image is exactly who you are.
Here are a couple of websites that might help you feel better about yourself.

http://www.whosoever.org/bible/index.html

http://www.godmademegay.com/

http://www.gaychristians.net/

http://www.gaybiblechristians.org/

http://www.christiangays.com/

http://www.mccchurch.org/programsinitiatives/wjd/diversity.html


Then you might want to introduce your parents to PFLAG (Parents, friends & of Lesbians And Gays)
http://www.pflag.com/

Then find some gay teen groups on the web.

Good luck to you, God bless and know you're always loved!

Answer 8

No reason to try to change yourself. You are who you are. Your situation depends, largely on where you live. If being gay is not very popular where you are, stay in the closet until you are legal to move away, and move to where it's ok to be who you are.

Nobody wants to be hated unconditionally. And, there's no reason why you should have to deal with it. When you're legal, find a place that will accept you, for who you are.

Answer 9

I am sorry that you feel this way. Unfortunately you just have to deal with it for now. At least you are not hiding who you are. Find friends who appreciate you for YOU, and don't dump you because you like men. They don't deserve your friendship. Your family will learn to accept it eventually because they love you. And as the person said above, fatherhood is possible.

Answer 10

Hang in there. You are what you are and that is a normal human beign. Many people are gay, and lead perfectly normal lives. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Fatherhood can come via a surrogate mother or adoption. You can't change who you are, but you can learn to accept who you are.