i've been with my husband for seven years,he hardly makes time for me,tired of talking to him,now theres another man whose giving me the attention i wish my husband was,and i'm falling in love with him.What shall i do,i'm confused,my marriage is getting so bored,and theres a big age different betwwen my husband and i.
2006-09-02 19:25:51 · 13 answers · asked by lovegirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do what most women do now days and turn into a ho.
2006-09-02 20:27:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow. I didn't realize I had this much affect on everyone on yahoo. I'm sorry, but me answering your questions is not genuine attention. Don't leave the big guy for me, I'm not into you that way.
What I usually do after having children and a hardworking husband, then macking on some other dude on the side is... I flip a coin. Heads) I ditch the random guy, fix my marriage, and make a wonderful life for my children. Tails) I stop spending time with some random guy just because my husband 'hardly makes time for me,' then take the bulls by the damn horns, approach your husband, and get some time made for you. The only way to change is for you to take control of the situation. A dam with many holes holds little water.
2006-09-02 19:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey stay true to your heart and talk to your husband. This is very normal. But don't be fooled into thinking your falling in love with someone else. Your just reaching out for something you don't have access too. And, if this guy knows your married, then he should know your unavailable. Whether you know it or not-you are unavailable to him or your husband at this point. Communities offer plenty of free counseling for a marriage. If it's not meant to be then go through the processes you need to go through then. Marriage is hard work. Unfortunate for your sake at this time--it seems you didn't even feel worthy enough to complain about what you really need in your marriage until you got confidence from some one else. And my love that is all this other guy is.
2006-09-02 19:31:53 · answer #3 · answered by earthmothermoon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not falling in love, this is lust. Been there! You will soon find that out. You will also soon find out that this other guy is around for one reason only. You know what I mean. Let me tell you too, you will NEVER forgive yourself for seeing another man while married. The guilt is going to eat away at you like you won't believe. My suggestion to you is to STOP seeing this guy asap and put some more effort into your marriage. Your confused because that's what happens with affairs. You think your getting all the things you are missing in your marriage. Well.... your wrong. In the end you loose SO much more.
2006-09-03 04:49:33 · answer #4 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a copy of Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" and begin reading this simple book NOW!
Many husbands and wives don't realize that their is more to love than just sexual intimacy. Their are four others that you are apparently missing and that are needed to fill you "love" tank. This book will show you how to fill both your "love" tanks. You may include some marriage counseling, but all of your sake give your marriage a chance to survive.
Put your relationship with the new man "on-hold" for awhile. If it survives "on-hold" then maybe their is a future for you and the new man without your husband. But, be upfront with your husband about your love or lack thereof for him.
2006-09-02 19:36:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In your situation you could fall for almost any guy that gives you time and attention. recruit friends and family to take your kids for a couple of days and sort things out with your husband... he needs to know how seriously your marriage is in danger...you both need to work on spending time together as a couple. When you've given it your best shot and your marriage still isn't working then think about separating... but don't leave for another man.
2006-09-02 19:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by dosey-rosey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want to try to save your marraige, or even if you are ready to end it, but want to do it 'right'/less painfully -- find a good counselor (and good luck with THAT) and then go NOW -don't wait- to do that
if you are ready to toss your marraige aside, or just don't want to face things and are willing to let them go whatever way they go... then keep on with how things are going ..without talkiing to any helping person
The first way doesn't guarantee that you "save your marraige," nor that anyone gets deeply hurt. But it does offer you the }possibility{ of having less insanity and pain (the statistics on murders coming from triangles are chilling... something like 66% of all murders I think)
Also, you should take a shot at just getting a better understanding of who you are... You, the person who married this older guy, how you let it happen to you, etc - so you'll have an edge up on possibly not unconsciously doing something as painful and not-so-good-to-yourself again.
And finally, if you take it to the mat with therapy, and do end up leaving your marraige, you'll have done it above-board, and can walk away MUCH less burdened by guilt.... AND you will never in the future be looking back wrestling with the question of: "was there ANYTHING I didn't do that I could have done to save that marraige? ...anything that wouldn't have hurt people so much?"
The kids give you all the more reason to go the getting help way.. you can probably help them go thru this with less pain to them - if you get good assistance with what you're going through.
You aren't so much confused as overwhelmed. Maybe you'll be able to empower yourself so you can make clearer, healthier choices, now and later
2006-09-02 20:10:14 · answer #7 · answered by warm_funny_man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not fair for you to sit around and be unhappy. If your not happy then leave. I think in the end your children will understand. If they don't at first then they will someday. You need to do what's best for you. I have a similar situation. I was married to my ex for three years we didn't have any children though. He never gave me the time of day. Then I met somebody that did and I had to do what I had to do. I divorced him and now I couldn't be more happier. Just make sure that the other guy is for real and not just stringing you along.
2006-09-02 20:29:02 · answer #8 · answered by BabyBoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just know that if you leave
your husband for the new
guy, you are not only
hurting him, or yourself
but the kids as well. Either
leave your husband or
confront him about the problem
If you go to church, maybe
someone there may have
a helpful answer.
Best of Luck
and God Bless!!!
2006-09-02 19:30:16 · answer #9 · answered by it makes me smile :] 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The new guy may seem exciting right now, but eventually, the newness will wear off and then you will be back in the same place.
2006-09-02 20:24:51 · answer #10 · answered by frr_ls 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this guy that you think you have fallen in love with has found your weekness and is playing on your weekness and will tell you what you want to hear. this is called a player in using you to get what he wants for your sake as well your childrens dont fall for that line many have lived to regret it and there spouces would not want them as for the children rember one think they arent this other mans and he wont treat thm like there dad. it is always the children who do suffer over thinks like this think very hard and look at there wants. as well there future depends on this belive me i have saw many a child change over this and it wasnt for the better. , my opion?
2006-09-02 23:01:34 · answer #11 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋