First off I dont have thoughts of hurting my 5 month old. Shes the only person that puts a smile on my face. Besides that I am really depressed. I feel as if im so alone and that no one cares about me. Ive been depressed since the middle of my pregnancy and now I cry sooo much and have thoughts of hurting myself...jumping in front of cars, slitting my wrist, taking pills, shotting myself(thank god I dont have acces to a gun). My mom only talks to me when she wants or need something. I havent talked to my dad since February because he is mad that I was having a baby and I miss him alot but am too stubborn to call him. My boyfriend is always working and when he isnt it seems like he doesnt have any time for me or just wants sex. I dont like to have sex because I feel so unattractive and gained alot of weight. Im also on Depo. I never do my hair and keep it tied up. I never leave the house because I dont want to be seen unless I go to the store, an appointment, or class. I need help
2006-09-02 18:45:51 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
thanks for all the answers...except for like one....they made me feel better while reading
2006-09-03 22:43:40 · update #1
Dear,I know how you feel!! I'v got 3 children and had the same feelings every time. Did not want to hurt any of them but myself. First that little girl needs you and soon things will be better. You will not be able to see to her needs if you are not happy your self. First thing I did after I stoped nursing I went to see my Dr. and she gave me a mild antidepressant. It takes a little time to work. Around 2 weeks so be patient. In the mean time you need to start doing a little to your hair and all. That will make you feel better! You don't have to spend much time because I know you don't have much. Just 5 or 10 min. Don't have much help for mom thing mine just wants to fuss about something when she calls. Try calling dad though. I know it is hard but at least you can take some of that burden off yourself. You never know it may really work out good . Just went through getting over some things with my aunt after my grandmother passed and we were not speeking for 7 months. I had to swallow alot and finaly call her. It was time to get passed all that. Want my children to have a relationship with them again. Talk to boyfriend and let him know that you need some tlc. He might just feel like you don't have time for him. My husband had that problem even after the third time around!! Last of all get out of that house!!! You need some fresh air and faces to see. Some adult conversation!!! You will be suprised how much that will help. You may have gained some weight but look at what you have in return! Hang in there in a few weeks things will be better!!!!
2006-09-02 19:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by cordie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You poor baby! Having a baby does deplete women of everything. The most important thing, is that you take of yourself. If you aren't around, who will take care of the baby and keep her safe
The first thing you can do to start feeling better immediately, is to start taking your prenatal vitamins again. The contain essentail vitamins and minerals that giving birth and breastfeeding drain out of the body. More information on that here:
http://www.babylune.com/vitamin-e-and-asthma-vitamin-b-and-depression/
The second thing you do is call your doctor's office. Ask for a referral to a postpartum depression support group. Most women who talk about their experiences with these feelings don't need drugs, they need understanding from other women who have been there.
The third thing you do is eat an excellent meal. On your plate there should be a piece of meat, poultry or fish the size of the palm of your hand. Then, fill one quarter of the plate with potatoes, rice or pasta with tomato sauce. One quarter should be a green vegetable, like broccoli, zuccini or peas, and the last quarter a vegetable of any other colour like carrots.
After you eat, take a nap beside the baby. A cuddle ALWAYS helps.
After you nap, it's time to call your mother because you want something. Turn the tables. I want you to say exactly this,
"Mom, I need you. I am really depressed and I need a break. Please come over tomorrow so that I can get some rest."
Then, apply The Three Hour Solution described here:
http://www.babylune.com/the-three-hour-solution/
In the long term, find a mother-baby group through the YM/YWCA, your local department of parks and recreation, or a local church. Go there, spend time with other mothers and talk with them. Isolation and loneliness are a big problem and you will be able to help them as much as they help you. Mothers need other new mothers to talk to.
You are important. Your life is important and it is important that you take care of yourself for your daughter. You don't have to do everything on my list now, but do the vitamins and the meal and the nap and, when your strength is up a little, do the phone calls tomorrow.
If I can help you in any other way, please visit my postpartum information site http://www.babylune.com and email me from the link there. We can talk via internet and make connections to community resources for you in your area.
All the best,
Kate
2006-09-02 19:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by baggyk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in nursing school, so I have learned a lot about this....and it is a very serious thing. I'm not trying to freak you out, or make you feel like you are a bad person--because you aren't, and you are not alone. Many women have gone through this, and it is not something that will go away without some sort of intervention. There is good news though, but you have to take the step and get help. They can put you on meds. that will regulate your mood, it could be temporary...or you may need it for a longer term. But, that is okay. What's important right now is that you are a good mommy and there for your beautiful baby. Don't be embarrased, and don't feel weak, and if your family says for you just to "suck it up", tell them to shove it, and go visit the doc anyways. You must!
For you, your baby and your future!
I wish you well, and just remember you are not alone and you didn't do anything wrong...just get help so your quality of life can improve, it is worth it!
Read more about it: http://www.4woman.gov/faq/postpartum.htm
2006-09-02 18:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by ♥austingirl♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depo can be your problem. Start using something else for birth control. See if your local hospital offers mom baby classes. Also sometimes the local Y offers classes. Be sure you are taking a good multiple vitamin because if you are low on the B vitamins you will feel depressed. Find a local home school group and although your little one is not even ready for school, just going to their playtime and meeting other women with children will help you. It will let you see a whole other side of child rearing. As far as putting on weight. Once you start going out and meeting other mothers you will start loosing those extra pounds. Yes is not the same dating as it is when you start having children. Go to your dad's house with your baby and confront him and ask him is he plans to be mad at you the rest of your life because he is missing out on the best part of his grandchild's life. If he is still angry, then just remember the world does not revolve around him and go on with your life. Take one day at a time. There are some mom chat groups on line.
2006-09-02 18:59:48 · answer #4 · answered by T 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think everything you said is about how others perceive you. You feel xyz, so you must do xyz, people are mad at you, etc. You said even you, don't like you. I'd ask, what is not to like. If this the weight, go to the gym. If it's the eduation, go to school, etc. Yes, depression is where you have feelings that aren't being acknowledged, and you are at a point of either indecision or distrucive behavior to get people to pay attention to you, but you don't like it when they see you have a problem, thus the spiral down continues. I would say you need to be happy for who and what you are. Then, if you can say you don't like that say, "Wow this sucks Beavus! How do I stop xyz? That's like totaly wrong." :) j/k. What you did here tonight admiting you are confused is personal growing. Many people would never ask the question. HOWEVER...what are you doing getting depressed on a Saturday night!?! Go play card w/your bf or something. :) Take care.
2006-09-02 19:01:07 · answer #5 · answered by OhIdonno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from the obvious answer which would be going to the doctor and getting some help along with some anti depressants. here is my other advice.
You have got to demmand some attention from your man. Trust me I understand the man has to work to support his family, but he has got to make time for you. Get a sitter for a night and insist you guys actually go on a real date. Something you can get dressed up nice for. buy a new outfit that makes you feel sexy. Do your hair and get out of the house.. Talk to him and let him know how you feel because he won't understand unless you explain it to him..
Sometimes some extra love is the only cure.
2006-09-02 21:06:01 · answer #6 · answered by ashez 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fisrt of all posr-partum is normal. You should PRAY because God is the only one who can take that felling away from you. Philippians 4:7 reads: And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall KEEP YOU HEARTS AND MINDS through Christ Jesus. My favorite scripture is Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strenthens me. That is the devil trying to mess with your mind. You said you aren't thinking of hurting your 5month old baby, but you are because what will she do without a mommy. If you feel you need someone to talk to e-mail me my info is listed I'm available to talk and up-lift you any-time you have to be strong and know that God loves you and he won't put more on you than you can bear. It's just tuff wright now but you will make it through the storm. By the way I have a 6month old baby. You should try and do something nice for yourself like make yourself feel pretty. Go buy you some under-wear and put them on for to feel pretty. God Bless You and the Baby I hope to hear from you soon. Remember God loves you and He Cares. P.S. Depo does cause weight gain try the patch I LOVE IT!
2006-09-02 19:01:15 · answer #7 · answered by MrsE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go see a professional, or see about group therapy or whatever they call it. You say that your daughter makes you happy. think about when she takes her first steps, when she says her first words, when she starts school, when she reaches puberty, and when she needs advice about the boy she likes. when she has her wedding and when she has her first baby. If you do something to yourself, even if you just hurt yourself, they might say you are not fit to raise her, and will take her away from you, you will miss all of that. You want to be there for all those moments in her life. You think you are happy about her now, those moments will make you a hundred times happier. If you don't seek professional help, you won't be here to enjoy her, and she won't have you there for the kind of support she can only get from her mommy. E-mail me through my profile if you want to talk. I will pray for you. Also, start taking care of yourself. It doesn't matter how much you weigh because there are seriously women of any shape and size that make themselves sexy and if you put the effort in and stay confident, there will always be someone who notices you even if you don't realize it.
2006-09-02 19:35:12 · answer #8 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi,first i want to say you are not alone,girl.what you are going through is perfectly normal.i have 2 children.my oldest is 5 and the youngest 3.when i h ad the first one i had a slight case of it but mostly cause i had a huge tear and couldn't care for my baby that much and i felt better with in a week but i had a huge case of it when i had my son in February of 03.it sounds like you are a young mother.i am too.iam 23 only 18 when i Had my first so i completely understand.i felt like crying all the time,never felt bad toward my baby ,never felt fat cause iam tiny naturally and didn't gain much weight,mine was a felling of felling stuck like my time wasn't my own,i would cry for no reason,barely ate and i could barely care for my older daughter,so much so i mainly dropped her off at my grandmas house.thank god i had a wonderful grandma who helped me so much.anyways things got so worse for me i turned to drugs,both me and my bf were so addicted.but things are better today,i got help no longer do drugs and work as a personal trainer now.i urge you to get help,talking to someone really helps and you are definitely not alone and if you feel alone feel free to email me cause I've been there and understand and can offer you support ,advice,and friendship.please get help now before your problem escalates to something worse.bless you and congrats on your daughter.good luck...
2006-09-02 19:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by ecstasyg83 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reecpeec suggested all of it. =) i imagine that is probable somewhat of both. That Robin is beaten and is partly depressed b/c she feels inadequate and that the toddler probable does experience that and it may well be making her uncomfortable round her mommy. yet, like you suggested, there are various of causes for postpartum melancholy, and many different indications, so hopefully that writers will pass into that as well, truly of attempting to make us trust that Robin is depressed b/c her toddler gained't end crying. no longer to sound sexist, notwithstanding that is so glaring that replaced into written via a guy.
2016-12-06 05:09:58 · answer #10 · answered by nathuram 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋