We have 3 kids and I'm in my early 30's. I feel to young to spend the rest of my life unhappy. I'm scared to make such a change but can't live like this much longer. I worry about the effect on my kids, too. My husband currently sleeps elsewhere and there's no sex but I'm still laundry service and cook. Stupid, or what. Thanks for all answers.
2006-09-02 17:53:53 · 15 answers · asked by magpie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been there, done that and you aren't stupid sweetie. You are just trying to hold on to what you thought you had. It's what we're taught from an early age on. Find a man, care for him, have his children and live happily ever after. It's sort of funny how each generation failed to include the reality of life in there along the way.
I can tell you one thing though. You are already living as though you are divorced. Think about it. There's enough tension to have him sleeping elsewhere (not that you want him in your bed anyway), you've been going through the motions of everyday life and the emotion is missing as if you were numb to it all. Either you've become disconnected completely, or you've made up your mind on what you need to do, but you haven't gotten around to it yet. And if it's the latter of the two, you are right to worry about the children. Do you want them to grow up thinking this is what married life is suppose to be like? Nobody wants to put children through divorce, and I understand that, but if it's really over, then finalize it so they can see mommy happy again, and in a healthy relationship. They learn by examples honey...don't teach them this. It's okay for them to know things don't always work out, it's okay for them to know that mommy and daddy don't get along, it's also okay for them to know that people can get through these things and land on their feet. Show them that. Get rid of the tension, get rid of the resentment and get rid of the hubby. Then fill your home with the love that it use to have. Let the laughter ring through the hallways again, let your biggest worry be someone didn't clean their room. Life goes on after divorce and you have three beautiful reasons to make it that much better.
2006-09-02 18:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys are sleeping that apart, then you have almost no relationship with each other! I would have been divorced already if my husband cheated on me. Being with a husband that has cheated on you, lied to you, and doesn't sleep in the same house is a waste of time. You are still young and I've heard of women who get married on their 40's and 50's. Don't waste anymore time and think about it, or if you love him too much that you can't live without him.... talk to him. Maybe a little talk and a threat of divorce will snap him back to life and to reality. Your choice. ;]
2006-09-02 18:01:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're thinking logically, the project is you're able to have finished that throughout the time of the previous you married him. only so which you be responsive to, lots of persons have exceeded a lie detector attempt and been mendacity. If he feels no sense sorry approximately for cheating ( and it would not look he feels any if he grew to become right into a repeat criminal interior the previous), greater beneficial than possibly he might bypass besides, and you'd be trusting him using fact he's taken under consideration one of those sturdy liar, not using fact he's honest. you have a option to make. the two you believe him, or you do not. in case you do not desire to divorce him, then you certainly would be putting up with various crap between now and eternity. might you leave him if he grew to become into cheating on you? there is the place various the respond on your question is. in case you found out at present, he grew to become into cheating might you leave besides? Or might you forgive him, only so he can proceed his trend of infidelity? i'm sorry you have various rigidity, yet you picked him, now you're able to desire to handle the outcomes.
2016-10-01 06:04:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both have come to that point of separate beds and no sex, then I think its time to divorce.
Believe me, your children have somewhat of an idea that there is something difference between to two of you. At this point it may be best for you two to separate.
Sometimes divorce is the solution to an ongoing problem. Don't look at this as the end, but as a new beginning. Try and stay positive for your children and for yourself. Whatever you do, try and stay civil to your ex-husband. Not only is this good for the kids, but it may be good for you. You don't need another enemy. Good Luck and Good Bless!
2006-09-02 18:09:08 · answer #4 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with him and ask him why he is cheating on you and what you both can do to resolve it.. I he is not willing to try to work things out then I would have to say you better call it quits. I would not do any services for him then he think you are going to put up with all of hi BS.
2006-09-03 03:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by Lori K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is easy to answer. Re-read your question, but pretend it was written to you by your best friend. What advice would you give to someone you love who was in this situation? I bet you would tell them that they deserve better, right? Now, realize that you deserve the same consideration. and NO you are not stupid, just hurting.
2006-09-02 18:07:15 · answer #6 · answered by PurpleAnkh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a child of divorce.. im so happy to see the difference in my parents seperated. Yes I was upset when they did (i was 10)... my brother and sister were too, and now all in our teens and twenties we all three agree it was for the best..
2006-09-02 17:58:26 · answer #7 · answered by KT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, a man like that is not worthy. and beleive it or not we can't fix a man. don't worry about your kids they will understand you when they grow up. spend more quality time with them. be strong and do something good for yourself. your so young don't waste your time my dear.
2006-09-02 18:53:41 · answer #8 · answered by lovely Let 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes divorce is horrible but think of the way you are living trust me you will b much better when you divorce
2006-09-02 18:05:56 · answer #9 · answered by murkymom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that depends on U Your the only one that can make that Decision.Good Luck
2006-09-02 17:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by sugarbdp1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋