i've been havin a really hard time gettin along w/ my mom lately. ever since my brother moved away it seems that everythin i do is wrong. i'm always getting in trouble, i'm always getting yelled at, etc. i don't even know what i'm doing!!! she says its cause i have an attitude. i know that i do sometimes but only when she starts up with me for no reason. i wanna get along with everyone in my family but its really hard because once i get into a fight with my mom, it screws my good mood until she's happy with me again. it pisses me off because i wish everything would just be okay between us. i'm sure its hard for her that my brother isn't here but its hard for me too and i really miss him a lot. he moved to a totally different country! i dunno the next time i'm even gonna speak to him!! now that i'm also starting school soon, my mom is putting a lot of pressure on my to get my reading done and she hardly lets me go out. i wanna fix things but i dunno what to do. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!
2006-09-02 17:51:21 · 16 answers · asked by jgmice 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm really sorry you and your mom are going thru some difficult times. But I think by arguing it's not gonna solve anything. It's just making it worst... The best thing to do is sit and talk to her, let her know how you feel and how it's affecting you and your relationship with her. Communication is the best key!!! Imagine if you miss your brother now that he moved to a new Country. Think of how your mom is feeling, put yourself in her shoes! I myself am a mom and believe me as a mother we are not perfect. We make mistakes too and sometimes it takes a loved one to open our eyes and realize we are making a mistake. As a mother's point of view I know your mom loves you deeply, having a child is the most beautiful thing that could happen to a woman. Also you have to understand it's not right to scream back at her no matter what she is your mom and you have to respect her regardless. As for your brother leaving you have to reassure her shes not alone, she has you and you need her.. One day you too will leave the nest , we all do it's part of life part of growing up. But always remember as a mother it's the hardest thing to do. Letting their children go!! I myself always think of that!! Now that you are starting school, concentrate on studying. Remember you are the future of tomorrow. I know their is a lot of peer preasure out their but don't let that get to you! As for your mom hardly letting you go out. Well what can I say she just worries about you. Their is so much bad things happening in the world right now. As for you not beeing able to see your brother or talk to him. Remember that the love you have for him will for ever remain in your heart. You could writte to him or Email him. But remember no matter what your mom loves you I wish you all the best!!
2006-09-02 18:30:10 · answer #1 · answered by hazelshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is sit down and have a talk with your mom. Approach her in a non-accusatory way--perhaps saying, "I notice that you seem irritated with me a lot lately. Can you tell me some specific things that we can work on to fix this." You might have a heart-to-heart about how you both miss your brother and how your relationship might change because of this big change in both of your lives. As far as not being able to go out, you might ask her if you could work out a system where can go out after you have finished a certain amount of work, or read for a fixed amount of time. Communication is sometimes most difficult with the people we are closest to, but it feel so much better to get everything out in the open...Good Luck.
2006-09-02 17:59:44 · answer #2 · answered by MegySu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She only has you to pick on now so this is normal - eventually she will lay off a bit. The more you react when she says anything the worse it will be. Just say ok mom or yes mom. Just try to do what she says and act like an adult - talk and never yell. If she says something you really don't agree with ask her to sit down with you and say look when you say or do this, it makes me feel like this.
Don't let her spoil your entire mood - then it is just crappy all the time. Try to understand that she misses him too I am sure and used to spread this all out but now it is just you. We all go through this "special attention" when our siblings move on as unfortunate as it is. Try to be nice to her and offer to help her out - maybe she has more stress and things to do with him gone too - I don't know but be nice to her, talk things out, listen and see what happens. Then you would have a right to say to her - hey mom I have been doing all that you ask and I have been nice and mature so why are you still saying this or doing this? Good luck!
2006-09-02 17:56:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is grieving for your brother and its making her act like a nut. I think you need to have a heart to heart with her and tell her exactly what you have written here. Tell how much you miss your brother and how it must be awful for her. If your mom isn't on the computer, help her get acclimated, and show her how to do IM"s and emails. There is no reason why in this day and time that your mom and brother can't have contact all the time.
Just be honest with her, try to put yourself in her shoes, but acknowledge your feelings to her.
2006-09-02 17:57:43 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that the both of you are experiencing the pain of your brother moving. As parent myself, I know the pain and worry your mother is going through knowing her son has moved to another country. Try sitting her down and talk with her. Try to get her to understand that you understand her pain because your are hurting, too. It is important that you try to establish a close relationship with your Mom at this time. You both need each other. You both must communicate with each other to discuss the pain and anything else. Suggest to her a night out just you and her. Her way of dealing with this is holding on to you, so she does not want you to go out. Do you know any of her girlfriends? If so, try talking with them and suggest they go out some evenings. This will help to take her mind off the other son. If this does not help try talking to your priest.
2006-09-02 18:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by ADRIENNE S G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her, let her know that you are having a hard time adjusting to your brother moving out too. You mom might not even notice that she is being over protective of you because of that. She is just trying to hold on to her "babies" a while longer.
2006-09-02 17:57:52 · answer #6 · answered by Angie A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing that i could think of is just talk out your feelings with your mom. let her know she is being unfair and you feel unloved.
my mom does the same freakin thing and it hurts but its like they say
mommas boy and
daddy's little girl
your mom really misses your brother right now and that's why shes being unfair.
just have some coffee and a nice talk and things should get better.
2006-09-02 17:58:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is natural to have these feelings as you grow up. It might help if you chose to have a discussion with her when neither of you is upset. Make rules up for the discussion such as no placing blame, no yelling or harsh tones, etc. It always helps to talk when you have had time to think and not in the heat of the moment.
2006-09-02 17:57:05 · answer #8 · answered by Maggie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her. Say, Mpm are you busy, can we talk? And then tell her you love her, you miss your brother too, all the stuff you just wrote, only make it into statements of how you feel, and don't give attitude. Trust me, it is better. I was there, 15 years ago.
2006-09-02 18:03:08 · answer #9 · answered by PurpleAnkh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
During that short phase while things are going ok, tell her-calmly-you'd like to tell her how you feel, and that you want to know how she feels, so you can work together to make things better...whenever my daughter approached me that way it worked partly because for her to be that grown-up about our problems then I had to be too. Good Luck, and remember, you'll get thru this no matter how it works out.
2006-09-02 17:59:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋