If you have been with someone for over 5+ years and are in love, and the guy doesn't want to get married for another 5+ years, and you do, what should u do?? I always wanted to be a "younger" wife and mother. Mind you were both in our mid-twenties...
2006-09-02 17:40:01 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We also have lived together for about 3 years...I feel hes my best friend as well...he was raised to have career first (no matter what)..i believe in true love.. i want to be married to him because i know i can spend my life with him, and be proud to be his wife.... He said he agrees, he would like to marry me "one day", but not now, hes not ready to be a husband, he acts like im crazy even bringing up the subject..and gets annoyed.. my friends say oh ya he gets the milk w/o buying the cow...(i do all housework, cook, everything) and he doesn't seem to even notice, hello were not married I dont have too!! I do everything to make his life less stressfull and because I love him...doesnt that just make this a little more complicated :(
2006-09-02 18:07:23 · update #1
It's the reverse of Brad Pitt...always wanted to get married and have kids. Guys want this really, really bad but are in serious denial and want to stall for the longest time possible. However, once on the other side, they are usually good with it. Stats speak volumes - married guys live longer. Period. I'd find out the real reasons - cuz you guys are almost considered married at 7 years...is it the paper? And quite frankly, if he REALLY loves you, he'd do what would make you MOST happy, now wouldn't he? At this point, he should be willing to climb Mt. Everest for you and if he isn't, then time to move on. If you won't move forward after 5+ years...5 more aren't going to matter.
2006-09-02 17:47:03 · answer #1 · answered by bcbound 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is hard, but don't wait! I spent my twenties (from 19 to 26) with the same guy, he was an okay boyfriend, but he was focused on himself and all the things he wanted, and I was just supposed to be fine with that. Now I am 29, and in another relationship, playing the waiting game all over, when will he want what i want....blah...blah.
What I wish I had done, was not wasted so much of my time while I was still young and enthusiastic. I should have been out there finding someone who wanted the same things i did. And I do belive that they exist. There are guys out there in their twenties that once they meet the right girl are ready to have a life with her, they are ready to get married and live. If you are not with that guy right now, then move on and find a guy who maches up better. I stayed with my ex because I felt I had put so much time into the relationship, I should have been putting time into me and my dreams. Please don't make the same mistake! You are young now, and you would be suprised how quickly the guys will stop noticing you. I am still in my twenties (only 29) and I am already too old for most of them, it is hard to deal with. Good luck and make it happen if that is what you want!
2006-09-02 17:53:30 · answer #2 · answered by lizardlover150 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then dont waste one more day with this guy. You will wake up one day, 30 yrs old and still waiting for him. Its been more than long enough. If what you want is to be a young wife and mother then you need to find someone more on the same path as you. The years do go by quick and go even quicker the older you get. I'm 36 now. Seems just like yesterday I was 25 and clubbing. It came quick.
2006-09-02 17:44:27 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LIL! WAKE UP AND SMELL THE GYM SOCKS! You are settling for less. You may stay with him another 3 years and break up because he doesn't want to marry you and then he'll marry the next girl he meets. Let him know I love you and its been fun but I gotta go. Trust me its better than forcing him to the altar and 3 kids and a mortgage later wondering why he keeps cheating on you.
p.s. watch "When Harry met Sally" You'll thank me.
2006-09-02 17:48:30 · answer #4 · answered by starmoishe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can not make him marry you. You need to move on and get what you want, find the man that will give you what you want and deserve. There will be some grieving that you will need to do after your break up, make sure you do this, this is very important for you next relationship. But I am sorry to tell you this, he will keep on being with you as long as you keep giving it up for free. Some men are not men who will commit, you need to thank him for telling you and being so honest but have him move out ASAP!
2006-09-02 17:58:25 · answer #5 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im with ur friend on the milk thing he will have 2 marry u if ur going 2 keep this up dont b his little play thing that does things around the house take a stand i think ur waisting ur life if he loves u he will marry u because he wants 2 b with u
2006-09-02 18:38:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just the oppisite of my boyfriend and I. He wants to get married, but I don't. We are both in our 30's.
But if he doesn't want to make that commitment to you, your friends are right, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?
2006-09-02 18:47:02 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a nice "talk"
i know everyone says this, but i think he deserves to know everything that goes on in ur mind, cuz guys are slow and nonresponsive like that
then again, dating for 5 years isnt really too long in the long frame of things... maybe things are better this way
2006-09-02 17:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by Kit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when this 5 years is up, then he will just want another 5 years. Just break the cycle already.
2006-09-02 17:48:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you both truly love each other, youll compromise. 2&1/2 years seems fair for both.
2006-09-02 17:43:03 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋